Our fights became a series of
violin pieces.
Wordless soliloquies,
two solo halves of a duet.
Played for no audience,
as rehearsals in our heads.
Where we always said the right thing,
as though it were obvious.
No one listens and no one cares.
We each play louder over
the din of our personal symphonies.
The other instruments remain
silent in reverence.
The flautists as though winded,
The drums had it beaten out of them,
and in the end,
the silence is the crescendo,
that harmonizes our strings.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,004 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Do you like music?
I get the feeling you like music...
Anyways, a few problems with this. (and by that I mean I have a few problems with it, not IT has problems.)
So while I understand the play on words in the title... It doesn't make much sense. I can't make sense of making plays on words, when they don't relate to the piece at hand. And while I mean this in the kindest way, I don't think the title fits.
Other than that it's a superb poem. Good Work.
Good Luck To You.
Where do sax(ophones)? come in?
I just wanted to say, if its supposed to be a sax and a violin playing louder vs one another, a violin wouldn't even be able to get half the volume of the saxophones maximum, and would be drowned out completely. I say that from experience..... Even 3 violins couldn't.....
Lol its a play on sex and violence. Sax, because at the end the part with the symphony and all the other instruments silent as these two violins fight it out. They were both supposed to be violins, that's why their strings are harmonized in silence. A sax doesn't have strings
Exactly, so why is there sax in the title?
Because its a play on words and relates to instruments and symphonies.
.
What a beautiful poem!! You do a great job at evoking powerful emotions while painting intense pictures with your masterful use of imagery! Seriously, well done!
The only criticism I had would be the Punctuation of the first stanza.... I don't know if you intended to use all of those commas, but I found it to be kind of distracting and I was a little confused by that. Your second stanza in that matter, however, is practically flawless is my mind.
Your imagery in the first few sentences of this poem is extremely striking and very well done, you drew me right in. It was a very poignant and emotional piece, and keep up the great work!