It's impossible not to.

Hi again :p haha
This is my fourth review on your work. . . .
Anyhoo! I'm not sure what Rosey's talking about by "not feeling the poem". Maybe it's just an off day for her or she wasn't paying attention close enough? Who's to say? xD (just teasing Rosey) But again, I loved this piece. Your writing style is what I aspire mine to be more like, and it honestly makes me a little jealous lol
Every line you've written has been flawless in my mind and all I can see is the originally and skill behind your work. So very personal and unlike anyone else's. Well done!

Keep writing!

Catnip~

Hello.

I'm not feeling this poem, but I'm not exactly sure why. You have some interesting lines in here, and a premise that isn't quite the standard "I'm so in love" poem.

But I'm still finding it bland. Generic. I think the most interesting part of this is the other emotions being jealous of love, but you hardly use it. You focus more instead on the generalities that love poems are infamous for, which make it a sweet poem but nothing to write home about. I find myself forgetting about the poem pretty much instantly. The only thing that really sticks is the end, which adds in another twist about missing that moment.

I would love it if you deepened this poem. Went more into how love makes you feel, how you crave it, need it. And about the neighbouring emotions. Name them, let their jealousy show in the poem. Then we can have a tension between love and other emotions, even expanding to the point where there's a fight between the emotions, trying to destroy love and the havoc that can wreak on a relationship.

Basically, the work is ungrounded. What I mean by that is, you've kept the poem purely in the abstract, without a single moment or any people to attach the emotions to. My personal preference in poetry is to have something concrete to attach myself to. Either a single, solid image, a person, or a moment in time. Something or someone that lets me relate to the work, so I can picture myself there. Abstract poetry, for me, doesn't resonate because there's nothing to resonate with but emotions. And with how broad emotions are, it's near impossible to find out how they match (especially with something so varied as how you feel and express love).

Lovely poem, yes. But, like I said, it's just not sticking with me that well. My suggestions are mostly based on personal preference, and I really would like to see it expanded. Mostly because your take on love is something I'm not used to seeing (and I've read a lot of love poems). Only, you've not dug into the complexities that much.

I'd love to be taken on a full on rollercoaster with this, where you feel love get its grips on you, the other emotions watching and hating it, and love eventually winning... only for the moment to end, and you come down from the rush and miss it horribly.

But that's me, and I like to have something to hold onto in my poetry.

PM me if you have any questions/comments.

~Rosey

Hello lyssiekins,

EnchantedPanda here to review your poem for you!

This is actually a really beautiful poem. I love your verbs and adjectives that you've used to describe the fluidity and smoothness of the movements and it really carries your message the whole way through the poem. I also enjoyed the ending of your poem. That final conclusive statement really adds a good sense of finality to the whole poem and really helps finalize and summarize the messages and themes that you had been going over throughout the rest of the poem. It's really conclusive and again adds to the beautifulness that you've built over the poem.

The first major problem that I notice with this would probably be to do with the formatting. Now, there's nothing really, really, really bad about having the whole poem presented as one chunky section but as a general rule I always find that most poem's look nice if they are broken up a bit. As well as making the poem look better, this also helps with the flow of the poem and stops it from being disjointed or awkward sounding to the reader. To show you what I mean I've quoted your poem and broken it up into separate stanzas so you can see what it would look like if you were to take my suggestion and break this up a bit more. If you decide you do want it separated then you can either use my suggested places for line breaks or you can choose for yourself where you think the most appropriate places are for new stanzas. My suggested formatting for your poem is posted below in quotation marks so you can see what I mean and how it would improve your poem;

In all of its intricacies
and fallacies
I feel nothing but gratitude
for love.

Its kindest words,
whispered through whetted lips
The splitting of hairs,
the bitterness in the midst
of those who it resists.
Wistful, its sour-faced neighbors,
jealous at the thoughts
of its kiss.

Warm and insistent,
as though these minutes
might be the last, and this
is all it has to carry it
through to the next.

Swift, and repetitive, it persists,
till it's almost overpowering...

But then, a moment after it ends
it will be missed.