Hi there, Brigadier
Lehmanf here with a short review. I hope it finds you well.
First Impressions
For a short poem, I thoroughly enjoyed this and really hope you have many other pieces such as this.
Interpration
all that i need to have something count,
is a few lines of ranting emotions.
I see the title vaguely intertwined with this first stanza but the title is otherwise is a mystery for me at least. I can imagine most probably a diary, pen in hand. Just struggling to stab it into the book and write every feeling, every emotion, every problem instead of actually telling people what's wrong. There is a certain amount of being afraid of ridicule that I can understand.
the tried at pouring my heart out to an
empty page, just to find that every section
I'm interested in the fact that there are no capital letters and yet punctuation for anything else. Is that a style choice? Pouring your heart so that no one else has to see you in pain. To scribble it down and rid every thought from your head but every single thing you've kept inside has filled it with nonsense nobody ever needed when you really do need to have it. When you struggle to scream and search for something but you're so scared others will find out and you are embarrassed you have emotions and you aren't always happy.
of this notebook, has already been filled
past the brim.
I thought this was the only stanza that needed one or two more words. "past the brim with rage." That is a possible option. Notebook is also maybe not the right word, diary, journal. Anything really that makes it seem secretive that gives you a reason not to just ask for a piece of paper.
Overall
I really enjoyed this poem although I can be very nit-picky when it comes to punctuation. I really liked the poem and its message. I enjoyed the enjambment and really hope a lot of your poems are this well worded.
Have a fantastic day
Lehmanf
Points: 155
Reviews: 30
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