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E - Everyone

the artist.

by lilithyoung

the way Michelangelo painted the Sistine, you painted me.

you laid on your back and brought me to life through the brush of your kiss.

against your tongue came mine into existence,

for your fingertips, you made my cheek.

through the night you created the curve of my waist,

by sunrise you drew my thigh.

you sculpted everything-

from the bend of my lips, to the arch in my back,

to fingernails, to ears, to neck, hips, palms, teeth, eyelashes.

with your ribs, you made mine.

in my smile, i was made to hold our happiness.

in your hands, you were made to hold me.

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151 Reviews

Points: 838
Reviews: 151

Sun Aug 19, 2018 11:50 am
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Arcticus wrote a review...

Hey there lilithyoung!

I must say the first line pulled me in: the way Michelangelo painted the Sistine, you painted me. And against your tongue came mine into existence is where the poem had me by the eyeballs. After reading the entire thing twice, I can think of no single meaning for the poem, and I think that's probably good?

To me, this poem can have multiple meanings: on the surface of it - there's clearly a very descriptive imagery of two people making love, but reading between the lines, I can tell that this has been used as a symbol/metaphor for something else - which could be the act of creation (going by the a large number of you *made*s in the poem), or simply a poetic way of saying we're made for each other. So, by and large, the poem is a bit of a mystery, but that doesn't in any way affect how wonderful it sounds when read from the start to the end. The flow, the imagery, the choice of words. I like it all. The idea of one's very existence stemming from someone's touch, and the idea of feeling like a perfect fit in someone's company. Even if this is a metaphor for something larger, the imagery is still gorgeous.

I can't think of any corrective suggestions for this one, except that I would love to see the progression of the poem continue into some finality, which I feel is somewhat missing even though the poem, by itself, is a complete unit that makes complete sense. I would love to see it go beyond in your hands, you were made to hold me. You know what I mean?

Keep writing!

lilithyoung says...

Oh my lord. I would literally pay you to review my works haha. Thank you so much for this review. Truly. Thank you. I really appreciate it. I'm glad that you like the imagery, because I feel as though I struggle with imagery.

I will try to write more when I create things like this, but I'm always very scared of my poems dragging on. And I personally appreciate a short poem that makes the same impact as a long one, so I try to stay on the short & powerful side.

But thank you. Feel free to take a look at my other works if you want.

All my love,

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Points: 91
Reviews: 2

Tue Aug 07, 2018 1:27 pm
kate2020 wrote a review...

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE! You captivated me with every line. I wish you could have added more because I didn't want to stop reading. One thing you could always try doing is adding rhyming words. You know me I don't do that often, but I think trying to use words that go together would make it flow easier. Darling, keep writing because you inspire me everyday! :))

lilithyoung says...

Thank you thank you thank you! I have been toying with the idea of trying to get my words and phrases to run more smoothly than they do through rhetorical devices and such, so since that's something you can tell I'm missing, I will try it! And thank you so much. YOU inspire ME every day.

All my love !

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60 Reviews

Points: 7
Reviews: 60

Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:02 am
Storybraniac wrote a review...

I remember in literature class, we were often asked to link poetry with art, sometimes we would link poems to famous arts by other painters or draw our own. This was all to make us realuze that poetry itself is a form of art. I think it's really clever to etch art itself as a metaphor into this poem. Giving the intimacy between the two lovers a deeper meaning by correlating it to sculpting. It almost gives the effect the the writer was liek an incomplete human being, waiting for someone to sculpt the red tape of her into life., as the day blurs into the night and their relationship grows stronger, she becomes more and more complete. The imagery helps to paint a clearer picture of their relationship, I especially liked the line 'against your tongue came mine into existence' It's realle clever. The ending, as in all your poems, give the poem a whole new meaning. How the writer, now that she is complete, feels like it is her purpose to add happiness to both of their lives, and how it is the significant other, or the creator's job to guide her. I really liked this piece, probably one of your best. Looking forward to your next one <3


lilithyoung says...

Thank you so much for this review! I always look forward to hearing what you might have to say about my works, and I'm really glad that you liked this one!

All my love,

"The day, which was one of the first of spring, cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of the air. I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them, and forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy."
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein