z

Young Writers Society


12+ Mature Content

I do not love you

by lilithyoung


I do not love you.

This is not because I can’t, but more so because I shouldn’t. You are everything I should avoid, but never do. You are not what is good for me. But, as my past decisions have gone to show, I don’t really pay attention to what is healthy for my soul.

I do not love you.

I don’t love you, and that is okay. We have to stay at this arm’s length distance, close enough to hear you whisper but never close enough for you to hold me. Never close enough for me to need you. All I am to you, be honest, is another girl under the belt that holds up your blue jeans. Another one bites the bullet faster than you can call me to say, “Meet me outside.” By the time I’m at the end of my driveway, I’m at the end of my rope. By the time I’m in your car, you’ve killed me.

I do not love you.

This is not because of anything you did, but simply because of you. Don’t get me wrong, we both love the same dumb music, we have the same favorite movie, and I feel like I can talk to you about anything. It’s just how you cannot bear to have a spot for me in your heart.

I do not love you, and please don’t take offense to that. I know you don’t love me either. I know we are just too similar for any spark to occur. The magnetic pull, the pure joy you’d have with another girl does not exist between you and me.

I do not love you.

We’re friends. Good friends. Even great friends. We'll fake it until we realize that something is missing. We'll play pretend until we grow up.

Let’s just be kids.

For now, at least. I don’t want to grow up. I want to keep faking it with you. I want to be the ever-present notch in your bedpost. I want to be around you and I want to laugh and I do want to say those three little words but when I say them, I want to mean them.

I do not love you.

What is it about you that I choose above all others? It can’t be your eyes— I’ve seen beautiful people with brown eyes even deeper than yours. And can’t be your smile because I see your happiness in everyone I meet.

You can't hold a melody in anything you do, but your life is my lullaby.

I do not love you. And this time, I wish I did.

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9 Reviews

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Reviews: 9

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Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:08 am
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ChristenedPages wrote a review...



I really liked the mood of your poem, and how it was very imagery-centered but also not perfectly fluid and flowing. The writing itself almost conveyed the narrator's feelings and longing. Very well written.

I also like how the narrator doesn't paint a perfectly clear picture of the (anti)love interest. It's very realistic in real life romances and friendships: we all seem to have sideways views of people.

I'm curious as to why the narrator says that last line. Even the last handful of stanzas almost has a slowly-developing different tone than the beginning of the poem. At first it seems like she is fighting her attraction for him because he isn't right for her/doesn't feel the same- then, it seems like there just isn't enough chemistry between them- then they are good friends, but for some reason will never become more. The ending carries the most longing, I think.

To elaborate more, I like how each of the reasons why she doesn't love him are different every time.
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Well done! I'd love to read more of your work if you ever post more :D




lilithyoung says...


I think part of the poem's purpose is to be a little confusing, since the relationship between them is confusing. The protagonist is torn on how she feels about him. If it's not love, what is it?

Thank you so much for your review! I appreciate hearing what you had to say about this. Thank you for reading my piece.

All my love

Lilith



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Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:28 pm
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Radrook wrote a review...



Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

I love the way this poem sets the mood of longing for something better. It brought back memories of times that I really wished that I could feel strong feelings for someone but it was just not meant to be. As your poem points out-the spark just wasn’t there. Sometimes it was lack of real physical attraction. At others incompatibility of personalities.

I also like the poem’s format of a personal letter being written to the person involved. It made me feel as if I was being allowed to share something very personal with the speaker. I like the repetition of “Ï don’t Love you” immediately followed by more information that clarifies exactly why the speaker feels that negative way.

Best of all I like the surprize ending which left me guessing as to why the speaker suddenly wishes that NOW she really could love the person. I felt as if I had missed some clue that would justify that sudden change of opinion. But I couldn’t find it. Perhaps a stronger hint would be nice.

All in all a very good poem skillfully written.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.




lilithyoung says...


I think she wishes to love him because of how close they are. They have a good relationship, but bringing it to that next level could ruin everything they already have. She doesn't naturally love him, but she cares about him deeply. Or maybe she's just in denial throughout the whole poem. who knowsss ;)

Thank you for your review! I really appreciate your feedback




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