I’m gay.
The words taste horrible in
my mouth because I was taught to
believe being gay is a sin.
But is it really a sin, when
“God so loved the world”?
(John 3:16)
Every day, I feel myself
becoming more attracted to
the same sex as my own.
Every day, I am sinning.
So, I look at the opposite sex.
I smile and compliment.
I want to cry.
Maybe if I tell someone,
if I share what I’m thinking
maybe my sin won’t be
such a burden.
I decide to tell my
best friend.
Saying it aloud will make it real.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’m attracted to
the same sex.”
“Well, that’s a sin.”
“I know.”
“Change back.”
“It’s not that simple.”
But, maybe it is that
simple.
If I have sex with the
opposite sex then
I will no longer be attracted
to the same sex as my own.
So I have sex with
the opposite sex.
I feel disgusted afterwards
because I now know that I will
never like the opposite sex.
I am sinning, because
I’m gay.
I’m gay and I can’t change back.
I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay.
I met someone who
I really like and
I feel repulsed.
With myself, with the world
world, with everything.
Why is it not okay for me
to like who I like?
This person is amazing.
But every time I am
talking to them I can’t help
but think that I am sinning.
I wonder if this person
believes we are sinning too.
I wonder if I’ll stop hating myself.
Today, I move away from
home to go to college.
The person that I met,
who is amazing, is
going to the same college I am.
We can be together there.
There, I won’t be so afraid.
Somehow, we were lucky.
Our dorm rooms are in the
same building.
There are so many people
here who are like us.
That makes me smile.
It makes me feel less alone.
I’m gay.
I finally am able to
say those words without
feeling disgusted.
I’m gay and I’m in love.
I’m gay and I’m sinning
But I do not care.
My parents found out that
I’m gay.
I was going to tell them
but not yet.
They came to my dorm as a surprise.
While I was in bed someone
of the same sex.
They are forcing me to
move home.
I have to go to church
every day to ask Our Father
for forgiveness.
But I don’t think he’s listening.
I know God will not forgive me.
To whoever is reading this,
know that after I wrote this poem
I ended my life.
How can I live when I have
sinned so much?
When I enter God’s kingdom,
he will forgive me for
all my sins.
Points: 64
Reviews: 10
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