All that is left is this box.
I found it where I should not have been.
Looking for something that should not have been found.
-
You told me not to follow you there.
That it would be lonely and dangerous where you were going.
So here I am sitting waiting for you only with a box that must not be opened.
Maybe you are here under a stone or behind that tree.
-
But I cannot find you no matter how much I look.
Or maybe it is not that I cannot find you but rather that I cannot see you.
Maybe my eyes are too naive and young to see things as old and weathered as you.
-
So maybe I can hear you?
Is that you I hear calling out for me, flitting over my head?
Are you calling out to me and am I too focused on looking, to hear?
Or are you too quick for me to catch?
-
I always was one to meander while you always walked ahead holding my hand and tugging me along.
Was it that this time you forgot about me as I stumbled behind both hands clutching the box instead of your hand?
The box was heavy you see and I could not hold it and you.
So, I choose the box. Pandora’s box to your safe warm hands.
-
I am lost looking for you
I am lost and scared and confused.
If only you had told me what was in the box then I would not have fallen so far behind.
-
A box full of pain and memories that are better left unseen, you said.
A hole full of a life better left unlived.
But I don’t understand I cried after you.
-
How can memories hold only pain when life holds everything?
Or did they turn into something else?
Pain left untreated will always leave scars the type to flare up with rain or cold.
-
Am I holding your scars as you walk away, as you leave me behind?
You told me it was lonelier where you were going.
But I am here alone with your box of unsaid things.
-
Of words that talk as though I need to carry my own box of pain.
Carry it on my back and dump in it all the failures all the loss all the things that didn’t go my way.
So much so that my back will bend and my fingers break from the weight of my pain and the pain of all those that came before me.
Carry it until I cannot any more till I too will put it in a corner and burn away the key.
-
Turning any possibility of healing into ash.
To be hidden away under rocks, or behind that tree.
Or carried away by the wind on the feathers of your wings.
I'm sorry. I couldn't review this poem because I find that I can really relate to it. So, I'm not in the condition to review. Thanks a lot. This poem was a bitter-sweat treat as it gave me something to relate to and also left me a little heavy.
Keep writing!
Yours sincerely,
Gravitem
Hi!
I think this poem is so beautiful, how you tie everything together, explore winding ideas that lead back to the box. I especially love how the narrarator keeps guessing at the box. It can be anything but is everything instead. Scars, unsaid things. Pain.
I really like how you keep addressing an unknown person. How the narrarator relied so heavily on them but overall they chose the box of things they didn't know and regrets it. This has so many layers to think about!
I read your other review and there isn't two people beings addressed by 'you' is there? I took it like the narrarator was talking to the person who had left them behind?
The only critism I have to improve this beautiful poem is to add some apostrophe's and loosen up some of the stanza sentences 
This is addressed to someone but is strangely stiff. I don't think it would take away but probably add more emotion to this already charged poem, like someone is really thinking, saying these things which would be more relatable!
Fantastical poem! Happy NaPo!
AndName
I like the mysterious monologue directed at a mysterious someone who is very vaguely described as flitting above the speaker’s head, being old and worn out, guiding the speaker in the past towards a destination the guide described as unpleasant.
The guide is portrayed as having feathers at the poem’s end, feathers from which the wind swipes away troubles. Traditionally angels are portrayed as having feathers and humans after death and resurrection.
The place he finds the mysterious box, includes a tree which is a religious symbol of the fall from a Christian viewpoint. She is maybe hiding behind that tree? Maybe under a stone? The reference to Pandora, a female in Greek mythology who had a box that she opened and released troubles into the world reinforces this religious allusion. Female, tree, hiding, stone. People were stoned for sinning under mosaic Law. The forbidden fruit of the Tree, Eve being responsible for the first transgression.
I envisioned a resurrection of the guide and the removal of her troubles in that way. An allusion perhaps to Genesis 3:15 where we are promised paradise returned and a good relation with the creator?
Can the Poem be Improved
There are some commas that need to be used, but I consider that minor.
Perhaps the hole in the box can be omitted. It presents an image of a box that might be spilling its contents via that hole.
Thanks for sharing this wonderfully poem. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
BTW
This is just my take on the poem and not meant to say that the writer intended all these meanings to be derived from it. It is just what I personally partially derived from it.
Good day!
I love the pandora's box-inspired poem you got here! I love how you use it as some sort of conduit between the speaker and this "you."
I have some few concerns regarding your poem such as,
I found it where I should not have been.
If only you had told me what was in the box then I would not have fallen so far behind.
The box was heavy you see and I could not hold it and you.
Maybe my eyes are too naive and young to see things as old and weathered as you
I always was one to meander while you always walked ahead holding my hand and tugging me along.
Pain left untreated will always leave scars the type to flare up with rain or cold.
Carry it on my back and dump in it all the failures all the loss all the things that didn't go my way.
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