Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This sounds like a pretty cool story. I enjoyed reading it and it sound really good at first glance. Let's get into a little bit more detail down there.

Anyway let's get right to it,

My bare feet were naked with redness from the hot sun that poured its vitality upon my youth. They pressed against the grass and were occasionally scratched by a solitary stone or sharp twig. But it didn’t matter, not when I had music to dance too and VitaminD on my skin.

“The Earth gives you its energy, feel it and touch it- take off your shoes.” my mother had said as I sat in the middle of the garden with a book in my hand. Wasn’t it enough that I was wearing a sleeveless top and faced the yellow sphere in the sky? But my mum was right, in truth. Slipping off my shoes and socks, I leaned back in my chair, my feet hovering above the grass. I hadn’t felt the earth in what seems like forever, only carpet and linen. The song played from the radio in the living room and I got up and moved my hips from side to side, watching my shadow as I reached for the sky and fell to my knees in endless passion.

Usually, I would be afraid of bees and wasps and spiders running through the fine lines of the Earth. But this time, nature paused for me, watching my movements. I imagined energy flowing through my veins from the tips of the toes that brushed the damp green to my mouth and tongue that chanted the song with glee. It wasn’t a concern if I wasn’t the best singer in the world, after all, doesn’t beauty come from inside? And at that moment, my heart was shinier and prettier than any angelic voice.

I twirled and twirled, again and again, spinning the world with my dancing eyes. Watching the moon that shone against the clouds and the sun that offered me the life, the breath that I consumed with the freshness of the air, I laughed and smiled. It’s a mistake to think that you are only born once. Moving there with the love of the birds and the trees, I realised that you are born every day of your life. Every hour and every second you are a new you, changing, growing, shedding the worn-out layer of your soul with something newer, wiser, smarter. Twirling there with the freedom of joy, I knew that I was fresh from the womb of hope and was emerging into a new light. A light greater than grief and darkness.

The song faded into silence, and I collected myself and stood paralyzed in the scent of lavender and daffodilies. That song would never die in the ears of the future, and my spirit would never cease in the merciful love of the universe.

Hello, there! ^_^ I always enjoy reading your works, so I saw this in the literary section and wanted to check it out! I'll just share you my thoughts as a I read, and hopefully that'll help you in figuring out what your reader may be interpreting form this c: (side note after I finished writing this review: I don't really have many critiques for you, as I think this is super well written! so that's why anything I do say may be a bit nitpicky; that's only because your work is just so awesome! ^^)

My bare feet were naked with redness from the hot sun that poured its vitality upon my youth.

VitaminD on my skin.

“The Earth gives you its energy, feel it and touch it- take off your shoes.” my mother had said

I hadn’t felt the earth in what seems like forever, only carpet and linen.

The song played from the radio in the living room

“Cuba, quiero bailar la salsa

But this time, nature paused for me, watching my movements

Every hour and every second you are a new you, changing, growing, shedding the worn-out layer of your soul with something newer, wiser, smarter. Twirling there with the freedom of joy, I knew that I was fresh from the womb of hope and was emerging into a new light. A light greater than grief and darkness.

That song would never die in the ears of the future, and my spirit would never cease in the merciful love of the universe.

Heyy there, stygianmoon17 here for a review ))

The imagery was great, and I love the way you put some things, like "It’s a mistake to think that you are only born once." That's a beautiful sentence and the way you develop it further on just makes it all the more better.

This was a fun little read, and I loved how you fusion the love of nature with the love of music, because both truly are made one for another. I couldn't find the song though, which is a shame as I think it'd be great to listen to it while I read your short.

You wrote this on the moment didn't you? Like you were listening to the song outside when this idea popped in your mind? And then you started dancing and you wrote it down too? I feel like this was a "on the moment" short, because of his much emotion is just poured into this. It feels so alive, so real, so raw in emotion that I don't really have anything to say except for good job

Hey! MapleWay her with a quick review!

This was a fun little story! It was also filled with outstanding imagery. The whole time I felt as if I could feel the fresh grass on my feet, And smell the lavender and the daffodils. I also liked the part where it said,

I hadn’t felt the earth in what seems like forever, only carpet and linen.