Here’s to you, Mr Poet Man,
Chin chin.
I am free from your chains at last,
Metaphorical, of course.
What other type would you use,
My dear?
I thought I was your muse, darling.
Wasn’t the blush alive on my cheeks?
And the freckles upon my skin?
Empty words.
Just like those you would groan in bed.
Simply remnants of a failed stanza.
Your little brown notebook.
Old and with the pages curling,
Worn from your tender touch.
Perhaps it would have been a better lover.
You could have...
Run your hands down its spine,
Lick fingers between each page,
Undress it slowly from its dust sleeve.
I bought you your first fountain pen,
Emerald and engraved, a gift.
It would always interfere, the bitch.
Your soft hands tainted with its mark of ink.
You were only happy when you wrote,
An affair no woman could understand.
Why didn’t you marry your pen, sweetheart?
Run off into the sunset with your words?
Send love letters to your rhymes?
Goodbye, Mr Poet Man.
Good riddance.
Who am I to compete with verse?
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
MY GOD... best part of poem. Of course the whole thing was fantastic.
Hey thanks for your comments!
I thought a bit about the 2nd stanza and if I could introduce it more coherently.
However, I think the woman's thoughts in the poem, as they are bitter and resentful would probably be fairly fragmented too- hence her rapid change of subject.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Helen
This was good I really liked it the way you drew my attention the title also caught my attention. I am pretty sure the others hit the spot with what needs fixing so i don't need to.
Wow. This was fantastic. I liked especially how potent her anger was, and how wounded she felt being second best to her husband. You definitely captured her emotions in a way that ensured the reader could understand them.
I think the transition from the first to the second stanza is a little abrupt, though I love the phrasing of the second stanza. I believe the comparison between the notebook and herself is important to the meaning of your poem. Additionally, the language is excellent, vicious and heartbroken at the same time. Really, her feelings are tangible.
Overall, excellent job!
My goodness all of "this" was genius! The ending blew me away! I felt her jealousy of her husbands love for writing his poems. It was just...just so lovely. Everything was so close to perfect. I did how ever,get a little thrown off when you started this part.
I was expecting something else. Maybe it as the way you started it but other than that...pure genius!