Everything Ends
The glass sphere hangs, suspended in the air
so fragile
yet seemingly perfect
seemingly flawless
people pretend not to be envious of what we have, but they are
time passes.
and it struggles to resist the gravity pushing down on it
as it falls, the light glints off each tiny angle of the glass
each flaw that now begins to show itself
people pretend not to notice, but they do
reality hits.
the now, nowhere close to perfect sphere, smashes into the cold cement ground
shattering
into an infinite amount of pieces.
this, can never be fit back together again
people pretend to know what i'm going through, but they don't. not quite.
forgetting their previous envy they're now sympathetic
walking catiously
delicately
careful not step on the shards of my now broken family
time passes.
people move on
they saw it coming, they already knew
knew, that everything ends
not me
i refused to believe it
i thought i would forever reject the idea.
the idea, that nothing lasts
it can't be true.. can it?
but it is, i know that now
that everything shatters
that everything breaks
i know now, that everything ends
This poem is wonderful. With the exception of a few simple spelling/punctuation/capitalization errors, the writing is flawless. It is genuine, unique, and full of powerful imagery. There is a captivating rhythm to it that pulses life throughout the piece. I don't often come across poetry with this level of raw energy and honesty. The words just flowed and moved me. You have talent.
Well done
Thank you sooo much!
Very cool use of the sphere, it was a strong image and worked really well as a metaphor. I really liked the minimal nature of your lines - very straightforward, blunt, getting across what you needed without going all flowery on us. I can't say I was entirely thrilled by the lack of capitalization but that's just me and my love of traditional punctuation... it worked, actually, adding to the simple, minimalist nature of the overall poem.
I liked the repetition of "time passes" - it's such a simple statement but it conveys so much.
Really nice poem! Strong emotion, strong images, and very to-the-point.
Thanks so much!
This was excellent! The representation with the sphere and the way you described how others -and you- perceived it was perfect. And the only technical issues I saw, was that you didn't add your 's when you used abbreviations like can't and don't. Other than that, no problems.
Though I have to say my favorite thing about this was the way you wrote it. You connected with the reader right off the bat, and then flowed straight into describing the situation with metaphorical imagery. Then you made a big finally that concluded with an aftermath of thought and conclusion of statement.
What I'm trying to say is, overall this poem was great!
My rating: 5*s
My favorite part: All of it
Hope to read more!
w&w
Oh my gosh thank you so much!! i wasn't really sure i kind of just needed to write.. i was basically hoping no one would be super mean but i definately wasn't expecting anything that positive..so thank you SO MUCH!