A Dog's Point of View

I loved this but I don't understand how "I will wait for you" dropped in.

High there, I loved this I think that you are very good at righting, keep up the good work,

Wow. Usually when stories are from the perspective of an animal it is done in an over the top or silly way (at least the stuff I have read), however your story was interesting and descriptive which I enjoyed. Overall I have very few complaints except perhaps using larger vocabulary word. However your story is perfect the way it is.

It's so sweet! I love animals, and I find it interesting when I find things in their point of veiw. I always feel like I get a small look into their lives. Keep up the good work!

This almost made me cry! I have an extremely soft spots for animals of any kind, so, this gave me mad feels. Thank you so much for this! You have just made my day! Sorry that this isn't a very good "review" but OH MY GOSH! You are great writer. Keep up the good work. JESUS LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Until The End
-Ari

Hey, Skywind here for a review.


"They live so long... but the good ones bond with us for our entire lives."

Rule for ellipsis: If there's a longer pause you would use a space afterward and capitalize the next letter. Shorter pause then you would not use a space afterward or capitalize.

In this case, I would just do: "They live so long...but the good ones bond with us for our entire lives."


"These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them."

This sentence sounds a bit awkward. I recommend adding a period after "kind". Also, change "to" to "with".


"Now, I am old. The fur around my muzzle is gray and my joints ache when we walk together.

Add a comma after "is gray"


But now I see differently, for just as my joints grow stiff, so do his too.

Change "so do his too" to "his do too"


My only wish is that I am able to last until his final moments.

Change this to: My only wish is that I can last until his final moments.


A death of their own kind is so rare.

Remove "own"


He has seen so much, he knows so much, I know he takes comfort in my presence.

Add an "and" after the last comma.


I only wish is that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.

This sentence seems repetitive since a few sentences before you basically said the same thing. It's worded quite similar too. I recommend you change the wording a little to make it less repetitive if you still want it here for emphasis.


I can see him, crouching over me, crying, and making weird noises.

This is sentence is an example of filter verbs. So basically filter verbs are words like, see, hear, perceive, etc. Words that you can cut out and improve the strength of a sentence. Something like...

He crouches over me, cries, and makes weird noises.

Would be fine instead of what you have. Since he's crouching over the narrator it's pretty much implied he can see him.


I blink a couple times, smiling up at him.

Add "of" after "couple"


More of his tears hit the carpet, and I close my eyes, for them to never open again, and I thank him for all the amazing times we shared together.

"for them to never open again" sounds a bit off if you're telling a real-time story in the present. How does the narrator know that he will never open his eyes again? I think if you cut that part out the sentence will still read fine. I think a description like this would fit better if someone was still alive was telling this story like the owner. If he said something like that sentence it wouldn't feel off because he saw it happen.

"and I thank him for all the amazing times we shared together."

I think this part would be better to fit in a dialogue-like sequence instead of an action taken/description like stated here.

So something like... "Thank you for all the amazing times we shared together. I will wait for you."


Overall, there's only one speaker in the entire story. I recommend removing all of the dialogue tags because of that. Also, some of your sentences don't really indicate that those are the words coming out of his mouth. For an example, in the second to last paragraph, you have "I blink a couple of times, smiling up at him." is a description, not a dialogue. If you want to keep the dialogue tags have them separated from these descriptions.

I think you'll benefit by using italics to convey his internal dialogue, since the dog isn't really talking. So instead of quotes you'll just put "Thank you for all the amazing times we shared together. I will wait for you." in italics instead of quotes. Follow the same rules of dialogue and description for creating new paragraphs.

As PearlC10 has said, including some dialogue of his master/owner will add emotional value to the piece you have.

Hope this helped.

Hi, fellow dog lover! Thought I'd give you a quick review. Your love and compassion towards these amazingly adorable four-legged creatures shines brightly through this article of yours, which is a good thing because I, too love them a lot. In fact, I have a whole family of black labradors in my house. Do you have any pet dogs? Okay, now coming to your performance as a writer. I guess the thing about a dog narrating his life story is kind of, um, odd. I'm not saying that its awkward or something, its just that I'm reading such an article for the first time. Nevertheless, it was a very cute story and I wouldn't want you to change any part of it. Also, you were able to express whatever is there in your heart so well. That's the sign of a great author! Without using a bunch of fancy words or complicated sentences, you wrote your heart out in a very creative way. Loved it!

Hi gxldencrxwns!
Whatchamacallit here, for a quick review.
I really like the things the dogs says, but I find it a bit strange the way it's all just the dog saying stuff, even though often he's thinking them.
The fifth quote is missing a quotation mark, just an editing mistake I know all about those.
I love the last ' "I will wait for you" '. It touches my heart, as I just lost a cat (not a dog, I know, but...) and that made me feel better, just a teensy bit. Though, of course I know this isn't real.
I love all your wording, wouldn't change any of that. I might just change how everything's the dog saying stuff, but that's just a preference thing, so I guess I'm saying, basically, if that's how you want to format it ... I wouldn't change a thing!
Keep writing!
~Whatchamacallit