Young Writers Society

Hi there! Shane here for a review!

Before I begin, I loved reading this poem. I felt every word of it. The rhyme scheme was simple (A,B,C,B), but added a sense of professionalism, while still keeping it simple.

I found the title to be a bit weak. I did see that the title and the first line are the same, so I suppose that's where you got it, but the theme of "don't make me remember" stretches through out the poem.

The next thing is just a formatting preference. I didn't think that the dashes between each stanza were necessary. They seemed out of place.

Finally, I feel as if the last stanza is a little awkward. The second and last lines (of the last stanza) don't "conform" to the rhyme scheme I mentioned above.

Well, I suppose that's all! This was a wonderfully well written piece; fabulous job!

Hi there ancient poem.

I'd firstly like to say although this review is late, I'm sorry about your grandma's situation. I hope she stayed strong throughout and that she's free from her cancer. I've had a similar situation with my father back in Italy and no one should have to go through that.

Anyways, on to the review.

This had a lot of emotion reflecting through this, and your beautiful choice of words added a ton of strength throughout this. This has a smooth and easy going flow through the piece, and the last line:

"Love me until my life is done."

That was my favorite part of this piece. Not because it was the last line, but because strong emotion shone through it, and it was a nice and strong ending for a beautiful poem.

However, I am a tad bit confused as to why you chose the title you did. It doesn't really show what is not being asked to remember - is it when the narrator was younger? Was the narrator not wanting to remember good times back when they were young?

Annnnnd scene! Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions or if my review wasn't helpful. Best of luck on your future pieces,

Pastel

this is to short I think that you nee to fokis on making it longer, but other then that it is very good.

Hi!

This is a very beautiful poem. I'm sorry about your grandmother's situation, I hope that she fights through it. The lines that really stuck with me were :

"Just remember that I need you,

The best of me is gone."

Beautiful wording. Although I really don't have any actual criticisms for this poem, I personally found it difficult to understand who was speaking at the very beginning of the poem. But other than that, really well done. Awesome work.

Mephis

Great rhyme scheme !! (sorry if this review is dumb but I like to give credit where credit is due).

Hello. Gorgeous poem. I totally understand what you are saying in this poem, and how you feel. I don't have anything really to point out, I love the way the words flow. There is, however, one thing I want to point out. On this line; "To be with me at all costs. " The last part of this line breaks the way it flows. I would say something like this; "To be with me always" or "To be with me no matter what." Just a few ideas. That was all! Again, amazing poem and I hope your grandmother gets better soon.

wow... I am speechless...
Sorry about you grandmother... I hope she gets better

Bravo *applauds*