Hey there fortis, it's me again! And maybe the slowness at the start of the previous chapter was just a necessary breather after some fast-paced action that I haven't read yet, because I think the pacing here is really good. (I promise I'll go back and read from the beginning again, I just really wanted to find out what happened next!) I actually can't think of anything to critique in the first half, it's a nice summation by Kerra and from what I've seen of Shandi, her reaction is very in character. I like the detail of having a farewell party instead of a funeral, it also shows me more about Shandi's character. I'm now very curious about the other guy in the blue afterlife (which I'm wondering if it really is an afterlife after all?), and why it's empty but for the two of them, and why it sometimes gets blurry for Shandi watching Kerra.
Also, ignore this if it was explained previously, but when I first thought of Shandi being able to see everything that Kerra saw I thought that she must be sort of looking out through Kerra's eyes, maybe using their telepathy thing, but then looking back at installment 37, Shandi mentions that she saw Kerra's expression when she was looking at the tablet with top-secret government records. So is Shandi like watching Kerra magic-mirror style, or is she like a ghost manifesting beside Kerra?
As for the second half, the first thing I noticed was this:
Despite his clear smarts, what was even more obvious about him was that he appeared to be more muscle than man.
It's an interesting description, "more muscle than man", but I have to say I'm not completely sure on what it means. The first time I read it I thought it meant he was more muscle than smarts, but that doesn't appear to be the case. On second thought, it kinda suggests to me that he's more muscle than, like, manly bravery/integrity/good-person-ness. Which explains why my first impression was one of slight foreboding and not completely trusting him. Not sure if that's what you're going for, because he seems like a pretty good guy otherwise, what with Everen going on so much about how she was intimidated by him but she's convincing herself not to be.
Although, when I put it like that it just kinda adds to my feeling of foreshadowing... I guess there's a fine line between a character overcoming their first impressions of someone, and foreshadowing that those first impressions might actually be right. The way you have it worded though, I think it's just Everen overcoming first impressions (because she seems pretty nervous about other things as well), and if it were to become foreshadowing, there would be more hints not to trust Benji later on.
Anyways, other than that everything's really good and you've got me hooked on the story! I was a bit confused about what the plan was until I read the next installment, but now I can't remember specifically what confused me and it all makes sense on rereading it, so I think it's good. Also, I applaud you on your ability to end on such good cliffhangers! On reading that last line, I was super torn between reading on in hopes of finding out why the captain had been avoiding Everen, or going back to find out more about the situation on the ship and see if that answered any of my questions... Also, the units of measurement thing is a really interesting and unexpected thing for a murder clue/motivation, I can't wait to find out how exactly it's connected to the murders, and if/how the murders on the ship are connected to the murder of Kerra's mother! Alright, I've rambled long enough. Hope I've said something if not helpful then at least motivating! Don't stop writing!
Let's jump right on in... 
Points: 4033
Reviews: 24
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