z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Connection - 26

by Rook


~1,106

Everen felt like she was going around in loops and circles. She loved all of the people on the ship, and suspecting that the killer could be one of them was insane to Everen. But it had to be one of them. Who else could it be? Everen found herself staring helplessly at her notebook again, and she let out a frustrated cry. She needed something else to happen. More clues to fall into her lap. There just wasn’t enough to go on as it was.

No. What she really needed was a good night’s rest to clear her head. She snapped her notebook shut and placed it on a shelf in her sleeping quarters. There would be time in the morning to go over everything again, but she promised herself that she wouldn’t touch the notebook again until then.

She took a quick shower, changed into her sleeping clothes, and then flopped into bed. She laid awake for a long time. She couldn’t get her thoughts to stop racing. Finally she caved.

Kerra? She sent.

It was a moment before her sister responded. Yeah Everen?

What are you up to? Are you busy?

Uh, not really. Just sitting at home, really. Why?

Do you remember when I’d tell you little stories? Everen asked hesitantly.

When I was in the hospital all the time? I remember. Kerra sent an emotion that felt like a wistful smile. You always were good at telling stories. Why do you ask?

I’m having trouble sleeping. Do you think you could tell one to me? She sent a sheepish feeling.

Kerra was quiet for just the space of a breath before she sent an all-encompassing feeling of love. It warmed Everen to the bones. Of course, she sent.

So Everen listened as Kerra wove a story to the best of her ability. It was about a beautiful space princess who travelled from star system to star system, discovering strange and marvelous worlds and taming extraordinary beasts. The princess wore a dress made out of the very fabric of space-time, and a really rad jacket made from the hearts of dying stars. But her journey wasn’t easy all the time: she had to face ruthless space pirates and her archnemesis, a mystery woman who chased her, trying to discover and steal the source of the princess’s power. The princess invented new and curious machines, befriended all kinds of people, and even found love on a deserted planet when she was cornered and out of options…

Everen never heard how the story might have ended—she drifted off to sleep, lulled by Kerra’s familiar presence in her mind. And then, she began to have the strangest dream.

Everen was used to having odd dreams, but for some reason, this one felt… different. For one thing, she was aware that she was asleep and dreaming. But it wasn’t just that. There was just a feeling, a sensation that Everen recognized, but couldn’t quite place in her sleep-addled state. It almost felt like an echo. It was as if she was still hearing Kerra’s voice in her mind, but her voice was garbled and incomprehensible. Then a bright bloom of the warm love she had sent earlier, but distant and… almost questioning? It felt like the dream equivalent of static. Then an unfamiliar feeling. A complicated emotion that Everen had never quite felt before. A mixture of hesitancy, probing, and confusion, an alloy of defense and entreaty. This feeling seemed to amplify, getting stronger and stronger until...

She woke up. And she remembered it. She remembered the dream. She didn’t know why, but it was clear as day in her memory. She wouldn’t have expected that such a vague, abstract dream would have stuck with her, but this one had.

Kerra? Everen asked, unsure whether this was even worth her sister’s attention.

Good morning, Everen. Good sleep last night?

Uh… Everen hadn’t even thought about it. She performed a quick sort of self-sleep-survey and realized that she was a lot more tired than she’d have guessed. Honestly? Not super great. But that wasn’t because of you. I really wanted to thank you for that wonderful story.

Kerra sent a little playful pride across the connection. Why thank you. I thought it was quite the masterpiece myself. But of course, I learned from the best!

I had a really weird dream last night, Everen sent, and then explained to the best of her abilities.

Wow, yeah that’s pretty strange. I didn’t get any of that if you’re wondering. I’ve never had anything quite like that.

I wonder what it could have been? Everen’s curiosity began to mix with frustration again. Another mystery that she didn’t know how to solve. When would she get some answers?

Did you shut off your connection before you fell asleep? Kerra asked.

Now that I think of it, no, I didn’t.

That might explain your poor sleep. I’ve forgotten to shut off the connection before, and it gets a bit draining, keeping it open so long, even subconsciously. For a while I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then you or Shandi tried to talk to me, and instead of that sort of… nudge feeling, it was like you were suddenly talking right in my ear. Kind of startling. So maybe that was it. Kerra sent a feeling like a shrug.

That would explain some things, but the dream?

No clue there. That’s never happened to me before. Maybe you could try it again tonight? See if it happens again, or if it was just some bad cheese you ate yesterday.

Oh man, I wish we had cheese, Everen sent, trying to move on to a lighter, less mysterious topic.

You don’t!? Kerra asked, an edge of horror stamped into her message.

No, but I’d give my left arm if I had a whole cheese platter in front of me right now.

You and me both, sister.

You can just go out and get some!

True, there was a sly smile in her tone. But just imagine how good space cheese would be. Aged for 250 years while everyone is sleeping comfy in stasis. That’s how you get instant aged cheese.

Great, now my mouth is watering. Thanks Kerra.

I’m just saying, how come no one thought of that? Huge missed opportunity if you ask me.

It definitely should have been our top priority, Everen sent dryly. Now I’ve gotta go grab some breakfast and think about how sub-par it is.

I’ll grab a cheese plate from the store today in honor of you, brave voyager, Kerra sent, a hearty laugh in her voice.


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Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:23 pm
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Que wrote a review...



Guess who? ;) ((it's Q))
I did not expect the turn this chapter would take! The past little bit, both Kerra and Everen have been really devoted to finding out their respective murderers, and now we've lapsed into some sisterly time and some weird dream stuff, which is pretty neat for a change.

Do you remember when I’d tell you little stories? Everen asked hesitantly.

When I was in the hospital all the time? I remember. Kerra sent an emotion that felt like a wistful smile. You always were good at telling stories. Why do you ask?

I’m having trouble sleeping. Do you think you could tell one to me? She sent a sheepish feeling.

Kerra was quiet for just the space of a breath before she sent an all-encompassing feeling of love. It warmed Everen to the bones. Of course, she sent.

I looove this. <3 They've chatted a little before, but I don't think we've seen this much sisterly love evident between them yet. I also love the history of Kerra in the hospital and Everen telling stories--it shows a lot about them and their relationship. I wonder if Shandi's death is drawing them closer together again...?

The princess wore a dress made out of the very fabric of space-time, and a really rad jacket made from the hearts of dying stars.

I also really dig this imagery and story within a story. :)

A mixture of hesitancy, probing, and confusion, an alloy of defense and entreaty. This feeling seemed to amplify, getting stronger and stronger until...

She woke up. And she remembered it. She remembered the dream.

I usually remember the vivid feelings of my dreams right when I wake up, but there's also an accompanying image? So I don't know if Everen is seeing nothing or darkness or abstract shapes, but a little cue like the would be nice to add in along with the more prominent feelings.

Did you shut off your connection before you fell asleep? Kerra asked.

Woah, I didn't think about the connection in this way before. That's pretty cool, but adds a new and more complicated layer to the story as well. If one sister shuts it off, does it shut off for both? It sounds like the answer is no, if Kerra's forgotten to close it off on her end, but then would it really still be draining for her if she's not making an active connection? Wouldn't both of them know about this already/experience it more often if Everen used to help Kerra get to sleep with stories? It seems like something that all of them would already be familiar with. There's sort of some interesting new territory here.

No, but I’d give my left arm if I had a whole cheese platter in front of me right now.

You and me both, sister.

You can just go out and get some!

I love this! :)

At the end, when Everen and Kerra are just bouncing back and forth about cheese, I feel like there needs to be some sort of line like, "But in the back of her head, the feelings from the dream still lingered, stirring around along with her thoughts on the murders" or something, to show that it's still important and weighing on her. (assuming that it's going to end up being more than just the connection between the two!)

And speaking of the dream... I'm very interested in that. It seems almost like another person is linked in to her consciousness? There was her connection with Kerra, but then almost another entity. And I wonder if it might tie into the murders, something about what's going on. I'm really curious about what might happen in all of these areas!

This was a really fun chapter, and I loved to see the relationship between Kerra and Everen developing. They've been connected, but this is more like seeing them interact as sisters, which I love. (and I also wonder if they ever miss each other being physically there?) 100% agreement with Shady--I love your characters so much! They're an amazing part of your story. :)

-Q




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Mon Dec 31, 2018 6:41 am
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Shady wrote a review...



Fort!

Am I creepy stalker? Maybe. ;) Okay, fine, I just have really good timing and saw this literally after you posted it -- but I'm apparently still on my review high and am having trouble... stopping xD Who knows, at this rate I might have my next review star much, much sooner than I should haha. But since I did kind of fall in love with this story...

She needed something else to happen.


Is she hoping for another murder? o.O

Kerra sent a feeling like a shrug.


I can't remember if I've mentioned it before, but I don't think? that I have, so I'll mention it here again, just in case. I really like that you have them being able to send emotions and feelings like gestures across their connection.

I mean it's already super cool that you have them linked via telepathy so that they can communicate with each other -- but the ability to send the feeling of love, or the sheepish smile, or the shrug with each other just makes the connection that much deeper and richer and I just absolutely love it. Your characters are so endearing <3

I’m just saying, how come no one thought of that? Huge missed opportunity if you ask me.


Haha, that's adorable. <3

~ ~ ~

Gah, I just love your characters so much, and I'm just never going to stop saying that, I guess.

I really like the character development you have going on in this chapter. The dream is intriguing. Obviously, you're going to want to leap back into action soon-ish since you've had a few slower chapters in a row, but I'm not gonna lie, I really like it. Your character development is so adorable there isn't even time for it to think about becoming dull ;)

I've gotta send off my laptop tomorrow for repairs so I dunno how active I'll be able to be around here the next few weeks, but if at all possible I'm going to try to go back and read/review all of these previous chapters that I missed, so that I actually know what's going on haha

Keep writing!

~Shady 8)





It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien