I'm decorating my apartment this week. It's about time I started since I've already lived here for four months. It looks exactly how it did when I showed you the pictures; the blue walls are still bare. I wasn't expecting to get married so soon, you know, wasn't expecting to move out so quickly. Maybe I wasn't quite ready, but when is anyone ever ready, right?
The only furnishings in our apartment are the bed, the yellow couch, the blue shower curtain, and the three bar chairs that are too short for the counter, the bar chairs you built. I'll be alone in the apartment this week. I'll be alone for the first time since Clint and I got married. Mami wants me to spend the week at the house while he's in Nashville. But it's pretty hard to go back, you know?
Too much has changed. Too much has changed without you here for it. Ordinarily, that would be fine because it just gives us more things to talk about. Bubba is fully grown now, and he's turned into quite a handsome dog. Mami had to get rid of your girls out in the field, but don't worry; they're becoming milk cows. The old fridge finally got moved out of the house. The dishwasher broke so Mami had to get a new one, even though you couldn't install it for her.
Benjamin's basketball season went great. I went to every single game. You would be so proud of him. He's been shooting to make a hundred threes a day since November, and it really shows. He's been averaging fifteen points a game, very few turnovers if any at all. We went to the state basketball tournament over the weekend, like we always used to do with you. The games were good ones, close ones. I sat next to Mami in the seat that should have been yours.
I guess saying it's hard to go back home isn't fair, because everything has been hard without you here. There are so many things I need to tell you. I wish I could sit beside you in the truck and talk to you over the radio. I wish I could sit beside you in the bleachers and talk to you. I wish I could talk to you. I didn't get to say everything I needed to. And I know it's not anyone's fault, and I know it's not my fault even when it feels like it is. But I didn't get to say any of the things I had been meaning to tell you, and it's too late now.
I'm tired of looking for you in places you will never be. I'm tired of seeing you in everything. I keep writing you letters, but I'm tired of it. I'm tired of writing down the things that should be spoken out loud. I've written thirty thousand words that you will never get to read and that I will never get to say to you, and there's more. I want to tell you about the new cat in the house, how Alexandra finally got her driver's license, what I cooked for dinner last night, about Clint's work trip, and that I'm decoarting my apartment this week. But I can't.
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hello, this is my first review in a while.
First impression: This is my second favorite writing piece of yours, my favorite is chess, rooks, and finger tattoos. I agree with @KateHardy when she said that there was some raw emotion.
What can be improved?: Everything was great, except one thing. The ending. The ending just kind of cut off to quote @KateHardy.
What did I love about this?: I loved the quick beginning of the piece!
Sorry for the short review, hope you have a great day or night!
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This was quite a powerful little piece. You really brought up some powerful raw emotions there. My only little issue here is that we don't really seem to have anything that qualifies as an ending there. It just sort of abruptly cuts off.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is quite a powerful start here. I am loving the vibes already. Well they are certainly quite sad, but in a really good way as they are doing some really powerful work there channeling those emotions really powerful for us here. Quite nicely done I think.
Hmm this is quite a bit of reminiscing going on there. You can certainly tell there was quite a powerful connection there, one which sadly seems to have had no choice but to be broken due to some unforeseen situation and the way this person is trying to narrate it all really showcases how much they miss that person and wish that they could talk. Again just a wonderful job there bringing up those emotions.
The emotion just keeps getting more and more raw there and I'm loving it. The only perhaps gripe I have her is that it only seems to build. There's no end in sight and that's a bit of an abrupt cut off there. It then feels like just a lot of build up for pretty much nothing here so I think something of an ending either a bit of a climax to this or even something more anti climactic would be better served her at the end.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a lovely little piece, its certainly got a very powerful foundation already here which seems to talk of quite a bit of backstory too. It just needs a little bit more of an ending on there and it'll be golden.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
hey kate, thanks so much for the review. i'm glad you liked what i wrote. for some context, this particular story is like a letter to my dad who passed away in november. i totally agree with the build-up with nothing in the end, but for me personally, i sort of saw it as the point; that abrupt cut off. but thanks again for the review and i'm glad that you loved the emotional aspect of this piece
Hi there! This is Orabella, here with a review! ^^
I don't think I've ever read something quite like this before. It's so unique and yet so simple, and your style of writing is absolutly amazing! It's casual but it fits so many feelings into it, and I can't help but admire this. It's actually so good.
This is my favorite part. You just grabbed my heart with this, and it's so powerful and beautiful. The repetition of the words and the final simplicity of the last sentence is just so amazing it kinda made me want to cry, not gonna lie.
I'm so curious about what happened off-screen in this story. Who is it the narrator is talking to, and what happened? Obviously, this person is gone for some reason or another, but it really makes me wonder why. I think that's part of the reason I like this so much, actually. There isn't a definitive answer. Kinda like life doesn't have a definitive answer for everything, which I think is part of the meaning you're trying to convey earlier on in the piece.
The descriptions of settings and events and people, even if they have no real meaning to the central idea of the story, are still so interesting, and yet they feel kind of disconnected. As if the narrator is talking about their life without this person, and it feels wrong without them there. It's almost like their life doesn't have enough meaning without this person, like it's not complete. Also, describing things the way they are sets both the narrator and the reader kind of apart from the world, and is more attuned to what the narrator is saying and who they are speaking to; as well as why what they are saying is important. I think that's just such a cool concept, and it's such an engaging way to get the reader's attention. It's also just such a creative way to bring the reader in as well as describe the feelings you're trying to portray. Two birds with one stone!
Also, the way the narrator addresses this person, kind of as if they're there, but also as if they're not, is really interesting, too. Like this is what the narrator wishes they could say, but can't. This actually reminds me of a story I once wrote, but this is a far better version. XD
The feeling of reminiscing and better times is so bittersweet. On one hand, you're describing things that are so sweet or fun or just wholesome, and on the other, it's not the same as it used to be. I'm instantly transported to this world by your words, and I don't even have half of the full picture! That's some amazing talent there; not every writer can do that.
And the title fits this whole thing perfectly. The little stories and descriptions being the mundane things, but the overall piece being centered around this character that will never hear what the narrator is saying. The title hooked me into reading and reviewing, and it perfectly sums up the story in a satisfying way, like a jigsaw puzzle piece fitting into the rest of the picture.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing! I enjoyed reading this so much; it made my day a little brighter.
hey orabella, thanks for the review. you said you were curious about what happened off-screen in this particular story. the truth is almost everything i've posted on yws has been about my dad who recently passed away from cancer in november. this particular story is like a letter to my dad. i'm glad that you liked the story regardless of its vagueness.
I like the mundane. I also identify with the feeling of writing something that someone will never read, perhaps in a different way, but it is truly the feeling that counts. Your story is a capture of that emptiness that exists in life, that void where there should be something and yet there is not. Who began that emptiness but life itself?
I must also extend an appreciation for the accent and roundness of your character, despite the length. All it takes is brief descriptions of color and speechless visitations to make connections and relatability.
I have a hard time saying anything negative about a story. The only thing I have here is that you misspelled decorating in the second to last line.
ahhh thank you and I thought I fixed that typo but thanks for pointing it out :%u2019)
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