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the end of the world and every time the world has ended

by farq4d


I grew up thinking the world was going to end. 

Yes, of course, the world is going to end, eventually. But, I grew up thinking the world would end in my lifetime: that I wouldn't make it past the age of thirteen because the world was ending, and it was ending soon. 

This idea never really upset me. There's never much use for worrying about the things you have no control over. I thought, at least, I wouldn't need to worry about high school since I wouldn't make it that far. I wouldn't ever need to worry about which college to pick, which jobs to take, or which person to settle with because I wouldn't ever make it that far.

I grew up in a very religious household. My mind holds more knowledge on the book of Revelation than you would probably believe. I needed to keep my heart right because the world was ending, and it was ending soon. And I wanted to make sure that when it went, we'd all still be together. 

So, it was weird for me when I went through middle school and the world didn't end. I graduated high school, and the world didn't end. Afterward, I applied to college, got in, and attended that very fall, and the world still didn't end. Life often feels surreal, even through the mundane, repetitives of every day, because I never thought I would still be here. 

As it turns out, I had it all wrong. The world isn't going to end in divine fire. And if it is fire, I'm more inclined to believe it'll be from our sun when it finally goes supernova, which we still have billions of more years before that happens. 

Now I think, the world is always ending, but it's never the end of the world. 

The world ended in 2008 when we had to move to a smaller house. It ended in middle school when my friend told my crush I liked him. It ended when my older brother left us to go to college out of state. It ended again after my first boyfriend broke up with me. And most recently, the world ended last November, when my dad died. 

And that last one has been harder because it's the most different than the others. The rest of them were supposed to happen. I was meant to move, to feel embarrassed, to watch my siblings grow up, to have my heart broken. I don't feel like I was meant to live in a world without my dad. 

I am not meant to walk down the aisle in May with my older brother. It was supposed to be my dad. And I scheduled my wedding two days after my little sister's graduation so that our extended family will be there for her, but that's not the way it was meant to be. I'm not supposed to be the one sitting in the passenger seat of the car as my little brother practices driving with his permit. 

So the world has ended, once again. But it's not the end of the world, even though it really feels like it is. 

Because I'm still going to get married. My brother will still walk me down the aisle. My little sister will still graduate. My little brother will still practice with his permit. 

Even if my dad can't be there for any of it. Even though that hurts, it hurts just for now. 

Life starts, and most tragically it ends, but for most of the time it's continuing, it's ongoing. 

The world never really ends.


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13 Reviews

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Reviews: 13

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Sat Mar 30, 2024 5:03 am
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Tambo says...



Wow!
This is writing I would never be able to achieve. I think that this and all your other work that I have read is truly inspiring and remarkable. You are such a talented writer. This piece made me very emotional. I think it is really brave to publish something like this, I would never have to courage to do so. I hope that you continue to write amazing stuff like this. I hope that someday I can achieve writing like this, I wish you great success and a great day.




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13 Reviews

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Reviews: 13

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Sat Mar 30, 2024 5:03 am
Tambo wrote a review...



Wow!
This is writing I would never be able to achieve. I think that this and all your other work that I have read is truly inspiring and remarkable. You are such a talented writer. This piece made me very emotional. I think it is really brave to publish something like this, I would never have to courage to do so. I hope that you continue to write amazing stuff like this. I hope that someday I can achieve writing like this, I wish you great success and a great day.




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35 Reviews

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Wed Mar 20, 2024 3:09 pm
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dm74 wrote a review...



This piece is very thought-provoking and relatable. The first thing your piece made me think of was when we were told the world was going to end in 2012. It also made me think of all the times i said to myself "I'm going to die" because of some minor thing I did or didn't do.
My favorite part is in the beginning.

This idea never really upset me. There's never much use for worrying about the things you have no control over. I thought, at least, I wouldn't need to worry about high school since I wouldn't make it that far. I wouldn't ever need to worry about which college to pick, which jobs to take, or which person to settle with because I wouldn't ever make it that far.

I think a lot of us can relate to this. We all think, in some sense, "I will never need to worry about this. It won't happen to me." But it can, and it most likely will.
I loved how the piece kind of comes full circle. In the beginning you talk about how you wouldn't have to worry about all the big milestones in life and at the end you talk about how you and your siblings are still hitting those milestones.
It is very well written and it made me think. Great work!

-Dani




farq4d says...


Ahhh I actually referenced 2012 w my age so that%u2019s so funny that you thought of that too, I am glad you liked the story : )



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10 Reviews

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Reviews: 10

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Mon Mar 18, 2024 3:03 pm
aaliyahlaurier wrote a review...



Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

I'm so excited to get started.

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is a realistic short story that seems to be about a young woman who has spent a pretty decent amount of time worrying about the end of the world, which I found relatable. Then, as she gets older, she realizes that worrying about the end of the world is pointless.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
Not much, if anything at all. I find this story to be very genuine and down to Earth. I had similar fears when I was younger, and I'm still working on overcoming them. The only grammar error I see is at the beginning. When you say "But, I grew up thinking the world would end in my lifetime: that I wouldn't make it past the age of thirteen because the world was ending, and it was ending soon" I'm pretty sure you'd use a semi colon instead of a colon. Other than that, though, this is a spectacular piece of work. You should be proud.

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
"Life starts, and most tragically it ends, but for most of the time it's continuing, it's ongoing." So true.


Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
You're very talented! Keep up the good work. I'd love to read some more of your work.




farq4d says...


hey, thanks so much for reading what I wrote. it's cool to know that I wasn't the only one who felt this way growing up. and on that one sentence correction, yeah I was debating between the colon and the semi colon but ultimately decided the regular colon since I thought that it was a dependent clause so it couldn't come after a semi colon, since semi colons are used to pair two independent clauses. but yeah thanks : )



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221 Reviews

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Mon Mar 18, 2024 1:01 pm
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dissonance says...



stunning




farq4d says...


thanks : )



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Mon Mar 18, 2024 2:20 am
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PEL wrote a review...



Dear Farq,
What a strange childhood you had, being led to believe that the world could end at any time, and yet you seemed to accept it, without it crushing you.
In a strange way, that belief allowed you to live more in the present and not worry about the future. I really enjoyed you story. But it was more than that, it was more like a philosophical discourse. I think that early experience has given you a deeper appreciation of the present moment which is a great gift. I like the way you can accept change, even though it can be painful at times. Life needs to be constantly changing, otherwise it would stagnate, like a dirty pond.
Resisting change is painful, accepting change can move you forward into the future. I think the last line says it all. "The world never really ends" And what is the world? Everything in it, so to take that thought a step further, no thing in the world really ends, it just changes. Your Dad hasn't ended, he has just changed. If you still yourself and talk to him as you would normally, you may find
he is closer than you imagine. Life goes on and despite the changes we can be grateful for what we have. You express that beautifully in your piece and you have come to accept the changes in your life,which is very wise. I think your writing has the potential to inspire readers to think more deeply about life, which is a gift. Keep writing you have something to say. Keep on keeping on as they say. PEL.




farq4d says...


hey thanks so much for ur kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed reading what I wrote.




Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.
— Bernard Malamud