Twenty Two More Feet Up

Hello there.
While there seems to be a certain message of encouragement that you're trying to convey, it's not very effective because your imagery, while nice, is a bit bland, and the images just don't really align.
The imagery first, as I was saying, is rather plain: "misty clouds" is redundant, "the dark blanket of night." is something of a cliché. "The harsh wind would hug your face" is an awkward image, the contrast of harsh/hug too strong and not able to complement each other in a way that would be worth remembering.
I have to say, also, that in the context of the poem - all those things you say can be seen from the summit, surely they can also be seen from twenty two feet down from it? A mountain by definition is so huge, this sort of distance does not make that much of a difference, and it undermines the meaning you're trying to give.

It doesn't seem to work well. There is plenty of nice imagery, but they don't seem to connect to tell a story.

Twenty two more feet up,
Is the top of the world,
There seems to be a disconnect here.
The mountain peaks and misty clouds,
The pinks and yellows of the rising sun,
The mysterious shadows of the pale moon,
Or the dark blanket of night.

The harsh wind would hug your face, Hugging your face doesn't really make sense for wind
The fragrance of the wildflowers be welcomed by your nose, be welcomed? Sounds like you be talking like a pirate.
The sound of birds and trickling water would enter your yearning ears, Sound is singular, but the noises are plural. It makes it seem like we're yearning to listen to birds, then trickling water enters our ears. Should be "sounds."
And if the threat of rain was near you would know.