Did you know the corpus callosum
Is what divides the left and right?
Funny how that works in the brain,
But is that how it works in the mind?
I've never quite known. I fear that the
Mind is just a bittersweet projection
Of our fears in terrific restriction,
Without suitable prescription.
So, tell me; how does left and right work?
Are they directions, signs, political rivals?
Are you my opp, or my revival?
What is the purpose of these two arbitrary labels,
When every day we deviate further
From fables, yearning for clarity,
Yet creating evermore disparity.
Perhaps there’s a reason why the story of the tortoise,
Is ingrained into our heads far more than George Washington...
***
***
Why
The snake tends to bite its own tail
When it’s bored. Sounds fun.
I am very lonely. Would you like to befriend a snake?
Listen to me. When you are caught eating your own tail,
You tend to make a fool of yourself,
As if you haven’t heard others wail.
If they wanted me to impale my head on
A stick, I would have gladly done so.
But no. Because I would never give them
What they want. My stanzas are similar in length
Reflecting this stability; I’m trying to conjure up
Some strength; you’re fine without me? Good,
Because I don’t need you. And I never did. My
Mistake was letting you think I did, and letting me
Crumble. I am loved. And worthy. In whatever way.
I may eat my own tail sometimes, maybe once or twice,
An hour. But at least I don’t have to chase after the snake,
Who encouraged me to undertake, this very action...
***
... Your contraptions mean nothing to me, for I am a
Soliloquy wrapped in sarafan; draped in satin silk,
And I forgot how much I enjoyed sucking poetry’s milk.
How dare ye stab my tail; that’s my obsession to hold onto,
And for your prescription, I give ye,
The finest dose, of snake venomy...
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hello!! a little review here, i found this an interesting piece to sit with!
the opener's doing something really clever and i want to start there, because grounding a philosophical question in such a hard, specific anatomical fact before pulling the rug out is really nice delivery! naming the corpus callosum rather than just gesturing at "the brain has two halves" is really effective. it earns the vaguer, harder question that follows, of if any of this physical architecture actually maps onto the mind. that's real territory, and you walk into it very seamlessly!
"are you my opp, or my revival?" might honestly be the most alive line in the whole piece given its (slight) informality, because the register shifts into something almost confessional. may i ask what you were going for with this one?
if i'm being gentle about one thing - "terrific restriction" made me pause just a little. do you mean terrific in the modern sense or the older one (terror-inducing)? both work, they just pull in slightly different directions, and i got a little lost for a second assuming which one you may have meant.
"the story of the tortoise" versus "george washington" is really well done, and the specificity is solid - it doesn't say myth matters more than history, it sort of shows you, and trusts you to feel why that's strange and true. it also quietly answers the question the whole poem opened with, which is kind of beautiful.
may i ask if that's where you were headed when you started? because i processed it like a discovery of sorts. and that's honestly the best way 4 a last line 2 land.
Honestly, no idea. I kinda wrote this intuitively because I got bored hehe
I think it's about how the concept of left and right is arbitrary, and labels in general are, because they are unable to define what happens when there is a grey area I guess. That line you talked about symbolises how sometimes we get so caught up in trying to view others with differing viewpoints as our rivals, that we forget what they have to say, and how it is necessary for different viewpoints to be acknowledged in trying to perceive the bigger picture. Something like that. Oh yeah; "terror" can be read in either context.
Anyways, thanks for reading!
Just for clarity sake why do you say it’s the cerebral cortex that divides left and right? According to my knowledge at least, the corpus callosum is what divides the brain between left and right, which leaves me just slightly confused since that’s also the title of your poem. Something interesting in your writing that I noticed is you say that you “fear that the mind is just a bittersweet projection of our fears…” Is that a projection in and of itself? Something I’d personally change is fully spelling out the word opponent. If the purpose of shortening it is stylistic in nature, it doesn’t necessarily make sense compared to the rest of your diction. Overall though a very thought provoking poem that can be interpreted many different ways. Keep it up!
Just for clarity sake why do you say it’s the cerebral cortex that divides left and right? According to my knowledge at least, the corpus callosum is what divides the brain between left and right, which leaves me just slightly confused since that’s also the title of your poem. Something interesting in your writing that I noticed is you say that you “fear that the mind is just a bittersweet projection of our fears…” Is that a projection in and of itself? Something I’d personally change is fully spelling out the word opponent. If the purpose of shortening it is stylistic in nature, it doesn’t necessarily make sense compared to the rest of your diction. Overall though a very thought provoking poem that can be interpreted many different ways. Keep it up!
Hello there!
That's a pretty cool poem. It's an interesting take on arbitraty boxes we divide things by - something the human brain does quite naturally to make sense of the world around us.
It's in free verse, with quite a few enjambements (I fear that the/Mind is just...; When every day we deviate further/From fables, yearning for clarity). What I find interesting is that despite the clear connection between each of these verses, you still start each one with a capital letter - creating a false binaries. The verses are connected (linguistically, stylistically), and yet you create distance by starting as though a new concept might start. It doesn't follow a specific rhythm, but reads more like natural speech.
The structure itself reads almost like a thought process: An observation (cerebral cortex/is what divides the left and right?), then self-doubt (I fear that the/Mind is just a bittersweet projection), then a wider questioning (So, tell me; how dies left and right work?/Are they directions, signs, political rivals?) and comes to a conclusion (Perhaps there's a reason why the story of the tortoise,/Is ingrained into...).
You have some internal rhymes (projection, restriction, prescription), which once again creates a sense of connection where the poem questions binaries, but also makes me think of overthinking something.
There's two more near rhymes: clarity/disparity and rivals/revival.
You pose many questions that are rhetorical - you don't answer any of them (how does left and right work?/Are they directions, signs, political rivals?/Are you my opp, or my revival?) These three feel the most powerful, almost like a climax to your poem. The central motif, what makes differences, is shown most clearly here. I feel I would have written out "opposites", because the word "opp" feels oddly casual amid the other, more scientific words.
You repeat "left" and "right" a lot, obviously, as it's the central motif of your poem and gives it a structural anchor.
The last stylistic device that is obvious to me are the anthiteses:brain vs. mind/biology vs. consciousness, clarity vs. disparity/understanding vs. division and opponent vs. revival/enemy vs. saviour, almost.
And then there's the last two verses: the contrast between the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare, and the very real biography of George Washington. Fables endure because they teach simple truths, while real history is complicated and messy.
Overall, the poem suggests that humans prefer simple stories to complex realities. Just like the left/right divide, we simplify the world into easy narratives. It's a strong thought piece on human consciousness, binaries and the need to sort everything into arbitrary categories. A very thought-provoking poem!