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18+ Language Mature Content

Ridicule is fun

by emilia9ludenberg


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

Teenage lobotomies,

Cute little fluffy bottoms.

I dreamt this up on my blanket of monotony,

And apparently this is what life has given me.

Why couldn't I have chosen the meme at least?

You know- the signal that I need to have a big fat feast,

On the weak. Because we all know I could do better than that.

***

But there's that clown in the streets,

Smiling at everyone she meets.

And for some reason, every single greet

She makes, what with her sweet

Smile, is a sweet fucking deal

And god, it makes me want to reel.

***

Seriously, every single stupid greeting

Of positivity she seems to be radiating

With so elegantly, somehow sweating

And trembling, but never revealing

Her dark depression, which she has built a cave from,

Allowing her emotions to torment her for eons to come

But- why the hell are her words so eloquent,

Even though I realise that subsequently,

I would end up doing much better than that.

***

Aww, she's swishing around with her fancy-looking hat,

Always rambling on about her chant or rant

About her depression, which she dresses up with a petticoat

And matching gloves specifically designed to torture others.

Which I find rather alluring; perhaps I should ask her out,

Though I suppose that is secretly illegal, by moral conduct

***

But one day, she greets me with a special smile,

One that makes me want to swim a mile

And tells me that all is ridicule,

And ridicule is fun,

So cut the crap with plagiarised puns,

And go and have some fucking fun.

***

Although my dream was to become a brilliant performer,

Who am I fooling? 

I'll ask the protesters for advice,

For they're not afraid of ridiculing the public once or twice-

Come on babe, I need your help,

Because I know I can do better than this.

***

Come on babe, I need your help,

For I'm lost on the shore of uncertainty,

And wading through the waters of tranquility-

Oh shut up! I'm not content with mere rebellion,

Which is precisely why I yearn for oblivion.

***

Except that, what I truly want, is to be humorous,

Intellectually humble; I need more phosphorous

For that. But I can do it,

And to hell with med school-

Personally, I don't think it looks cool.

I mean, helping people is nice,

But I guess protecting them from mental mice

Is nicer, and what happens if I couldn't give a fuck about anatomy?

I guess we're going back to those wretched lobotomies

***

Aww, she's swishing around with her fancy looking hat,

Always rambling on about some chant or rant

About her depression, which she dresses up with a petticoat

And matching gloves, specifically designed to sadden others,

Which I find rather alluring; perhaps I should blow her brains out,

Though I suppose that defies moral conduct.

***

Until one day, she greets me with a special smile,

One that makes me want to bawl a mile,

And tells me that all is ridicule, 

And ridicule is fun,

So cut the crap with plagiarised puns,

And go and have some fucking fun.

***

Aww, she's swishing around with her fancy looking hat,

Always rambling on about her chant or rant

About her depression, which she dresses up with a petticoat

And matching gloves, designed to inflict desire upon others.

Which I find rather alluring; perhaps I should go all out,

Though I suppose that is against social conduct...


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Fri Jan 26, 2024 2:47 am
AilahEvelynMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

I love how you started this poem. It really jumped right at me!

Teenage lobotomies,

Cute little fluffy bottoms.


i really enjoyed this poem. It felt almost like a rap, or a set of words that flowed smoothly off the tongue. I felt like i was listening to a stream of consciousness from your brain, at 3am, if that makes any sense XD.

I enjoyed your alliteration and how many s words you used in this part:

And for some reason, every single greet

She makes, what with her sweet

Smile, is a sweet


This poem, as I said, made me feel like I really saw inside your mind, or someone's mind. It felt like a swirl of words. A calm storm. Organized chaos. Whatever it is, it was lovely!

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

I think you could consider some rephrasing for these parts:

You know- the signal that I need to have a big fat feast,


maybe something like,

"You know, the signal that I need to have a big fat feast."

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

I think some of these phrases you used are quite genius. This one flowed extremely well:

Oh shut up! I'm not content with mere rebellion,

Which is precisely why I yearn for oblivion.


Rhyming oblivion with rebellion was incredibly well done! Wow, awesome work :D

And heres another one. Sorry for the super long quote but it all flows so well into the next lines.

I mean, helping people is nice,

But I guess protecting them from mental mice

Is nicer, and what happens if I couldn't give a **** about anatomy?

I guess we're going back to those wretched lobotomies


I loved how this section ties back to your opening lines that also mentioned the lobotomy. Nice, mental mice, nicer, WOW! You are a poetry master. I wish I could make my poems flow that well. I enjoy rhyme but this is a whole other level! I enjoyed this so much.

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

Thanks for sharing your writing on YWS! It is always a pleasure to read what you post. Take care! Have a great night :)

Your friend,
Ellie

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!





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