Hey there! Plume here, with a review!
I enjoyed reading your lyrics! While they didn't necessarily have an established tune, I think you did a great job at conveying their lyricism by having the repeated refrains throughout. As the other review mentioned, it is distinctly rap-like in its quality, which I liked a lot.
I like how simultaneously nonsensical and meaningful this was; I think the wordplay did a lot to add to the meaning. To me, the way I interpret this, it's a bit of a dark take on fun and humor, more specifically perhaps using it as a coping mechanism against bitterness and sadness. There was also a sense of mockery of the current state of the world throughout, too, with mentions of relevant topics like "social conduct," "protestors," and "depression," and perhaps using the clown as a generic figure of the many foolish people that exist in the world today. I think the title also conveys this message; the use of the word ridicule, especially, connotes that sort of mean-spirited fun this poem seems to be about.
I do think having a recording of how it's meant to be sung/read would have been helpful; there were points where I lost the flow a bit because simply reading them in the way I expected didn't exactly merge with the beat, but if you planned on doing something creative with the syllables and emphasis to make the phrases work, I would have loved to hear it. Otherwise, I do recommend reading it aloud just to nail down the flow of it; particularly with song lyrics, an extra syllable can throw off the whole thing.
Specifics
Always rambling on about her chant or rant
About her depression, which she dresses up with a petticoat
I really loved this pair of lines, specifically the one with depression and petticoats. The juxtaposition of those two ideas really appealed to me and was something so original and enjoyable.
Overall: nice work! This work was exceptionally original and you've really got a knack for unique phrasing. I hope to read more of your poetry soon; until next time!
Points: 92128
Reviews: 720
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