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139,645 Literary Works • 672,640 Reviews
Hi! I read one of your recent poems and decided to see if the others were as good.... and clearly I was right.
This poem is amazing! I absolutely love it, and like I said for the other poem, I can relate to it so much. I literally felt like you were reading me like a book through your poem - and I think this might be the same for other people. Well done.
I liked the progression throughout the poem, and how there is hope at the end, like every time you don't run away because you believe that next time will be better.
I liked the verse about the war within yourself, that was really good, and for me, the first 3 verses were the best, you convey the emotions and thoughts inside people really well. I think the best line for me was: "everything felt useless / and started falling apart"
Anyway, I really like your poetry and really hope you keep writing -
Tick tock
Thanks for your kind words, mate.
I really like it. The use of language is incredible and I can relate so much to it. I love how you made it brief and descriptive at the same time to grab the reader's attention.
It made me feel a lot better as a person by reading it. You have a true gift of writing and how you connect with people. Thankyou so much for sharing it
Keep up the great work! - TheDarkWriter.
Hey! I'm not that good! But, thank you for your kind words! ^^
And, oh, I need to talk about narrative poetry and photography sometimes!
Talk to you, I mean! :3
Your welcome!
and of course we should talk about narrative poetry and photography sometime, can't wait! 
Hey Mia! I really like what you've written, so here's my two cents:
I feel like a lot of people (teenagers, especially) feel this way when things are going wrong. I could even take it a little deeper and say that this is the epitome of what depression feels like.
This piece is really easy to relate to, and I think that's part of why I like it so much.
I like this line, in particular, because I feel this way a lot; sometimes you feel like you mean nothing and you are nothing, even though you have dozens of people telling you otherwise. You've done a great job connecting with your audience.
This excerpt is lovely: you expressed a lot of emotion in just a couple lines. So, I commend you on that! In order to evoke even more emotion, I would recommend using stronger words. In the beginning, you used very strong adjectives such as shattered, splenetic, angry; near the end, you start to use simpler ones, so try to spice it up a little bit!
The ending is perfect- ending this piece with a positive/ominous note is just what it needed.
You've done a great job with this poem! Keep up the awesome work.
-unluminescent
Thanks for the awesome review, mate! Yes, I've got some lacking with word-developing so, I'll be working on that.
Short and simple, it was really good!
Hello!
The poem is really good, especially message-wise. You wrote a poem about something that happens to everyone - self-doubt and self-loathing (some people surpass these things, some people don't), which makes the poem easy to relate to.
When it comes to the form and the vocabulary, I like the repeated usage of the infinitive, which gives the voice of the poem this firmness of purpose it conveys throughout, and also a rhythm.
Being a person who likes the macabre, the depression, and the death, I was (personally!) a little disappointed in the ending. But looking at it objectively, it is a good, healthy ending. A strong person who won't give up.
All in all, I enjoyed reading it.
Keep on writing!
Thanks for the response!