"Mom, why did you leave it here?" Violet asked. "It seems pretty important."
"It wasn't at that time, Violet." Mauve whispered. "A Scout's Locket is used only symbolize the the Scout's fidelity to the group. When I quit, I tore it off my neck and threw it to the ground. The leader told me and I quote, "If you decide to leave us, gone right ahead. But if you ever wish to return, you locket will be right there where you left it." And when she says that, she does mean it. I have witnessed it before."
"Well why did you bring us here to help you look for it?" Kray groaned. "Why did you quit?"
"Look, the building was flooded a little by the storm, so the locket was washed away so where else." And I thought they were too childish for me. Which is why we left."
"Who's we?"
"It doesn't matter, Kray." Violet said shrugging her shoulders. "I guess we'll just have to find it before the morning."
Lavender was shocked to her core. I has never seen anyone so puzzled. She stood up and looked down on me.
"Really, and I suggest you don't have to breath either." She said angrily.
"Uh, I don't no Pokemon has to breath. Not breathing won't kill you. It's just something that we can do, but it's not nessesary at all. Lavender ceased breathing to prove me wrong. She stood there for a short minute before she resumed again.
"Okay, you are right about that one but how can you not have parents?" She asked. "It just dozens make any sense to me."
"I don't know. But all I know is that I do not have any parents at all. I have a brother and a long lost cousin, but no parents." I told her.
"Alright. Whatever. forget I asked okay?" She said shaking her head.
"Sure."
She skipped into the house an went up stairs to her room. I continued to stare up at the moon hanging in the sky. I relaxed my body and let out a deep breath. My eyes became heavy and soon began to slowly close. The sky faded into pitch darkness. In the darkness, I heard a familiar voice. A voice that belonged to Sato.
"Ryan, you have to stay away from them. Stay by yourself as much as possible. He's searching for you. He's not like Elec, he's very powerful."
What? Who, Sato. Who is coming?
"Zenith Sanna!" She exclaimed. "My father. He knows where you are! He think that you kept me with you against my will during the storm. I tried to tell him the truth, but he wouldn't listenen. Please, stay safe." Her voice faded away.
I opened my quickly opened my eyes. A Gardevior with glistening hair dyed jet black stood over me. He grabbed my neck and lifted me off the ground.
"Ah, you're the one who kept my daughter prisoner." She snarled.
"I didn't keep her prisoner. And before you waste your time, you're not hurting me at all." I laughed.
He dropped me.
"Ha, as if I would wasted my power on a delusional kid." He said. "I just want to hear the truth from you, then maybe I won't murder your ass."
"For a father you are really childish. I already told you. I did not imprison Sato. She came to me."
"Liar!" He threw a punch at me. I blocked it with a single hand and stabbed his fist with a knife I pulled from my pocket. He jumped back and tore the knife out of his throbbing hand. "Gah, dammit." He said. "You little punk." His hand bled forcefully while he held it with his other hand.
"Zenith, you're misunderstood, sir." I said trying to reason with him. "I assure you, I did not hold Sato with me against her will. She came to me because you and Zoey left her by herself. She was afraid, so she came to me. That's all."
"Just shut up, and stop lying already." He yelled. "You're too scared to fight so you're trying to stop me with your word? How pathetic. I might as well kill everyone you know. I would rather see you crying than watching you running your mouth.
"Oh, really. Look at this house behind me." I said pointing to the house. "In there is a little girl. Now, of you would dare, try and kill her, or anyone else I know, two things would happen. One, you would fail, and two. I would murder you, your wife, and everyone else in this city. So think twice before you make threats."
" Heh heh, Looks like we'll have some business to settle sometime soon then. But don't worry. I'll be back for you."
He vanished before my eyes
I heard a voice in my head. I quickly ran to the front of the house into the street. The street lamps flicked in the night. I turned around and was slugged to the ground. Someon stuck their pointed for into my neck.
"Well, well Ryan." Zoey laughed. "You seem fine tonight."
I pushed my body up off the ground. Zoey tried with all of her strength to keep me down.
"Ahh! Shut up!" I yelled.
"How dare you speak to me that way." She backed off and guarded at me.
"Oh, did I make angry sweetheart? Well, let me tell you something. I don't care. I don't care about you, or that childish idiot you call your husband. I only care about Sato."
"No you don't, no one does." She said. "I'm surprized she's even alive."
"Grrr... Shut UP!!!" I screamed. I shot her with an electric blast from my palm. "You don't have the right to talk about her!"
"Ryan, stop!" Sato yelled. "Don't hurt her anymore."
"What?"
"Ryan please..."
"Wait, wait what?? You're defending her?" I said baffled.
"Ryan, I'm sure you know the feeling too. You can't hold a grudge against your own mother."
"No I don't. I never had a mother. An- and even if I did, I wouldn't forgive her for treating me the way you've been treated. Sato, it's like you're blind to everything they have done to you."
Zoey grabbed Sato by the back horn on her head. She tossed her behind her.
"I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF THIS!!!! DAMMIT YOU STUPID LITTLE BRAT, WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN?!?!"
Hearing Zoey's voice made my blood boil. I charged at her and pinned her to the ground. My eyes transformed to a blood red color.
"If you ever, EVER let me see your face again. I will make sure you never that you feel the highest form of pain I can expel before I kill you."
"You will pay for this, Ryan. I swear you will." She teleported away, leaving Sato and I by ourselves.
Saro broke out in tears. She ran over to me and hugged my tightly.
"You must hate me now." She cried.
"Sato, no, I could never hate you."
"What?"
"I don't." I said hugging her back. "I don't hate you, and I never will."
Oh wow! This is pretty intense.
But one thing is really puzzling me.
If her parents don't care for Sato, why would they try to protect her or get revenge against someone who might have held her against their will. Or did they mean that no one other than THEM loves her? I think either way this is a really interesting and deep family dynamic you have. Obviously Sato loves them, they protect her, but Ryan also loves them and doesn't feel anything toward the family connection. He's like from the old days, when sons would murder their fathers to get to the throne, etc., before the idea of a happy family was introduced into society at the time of the Enlightenment in Europe.
I know this section was mostly meant for the action, but I think this difference in family dynamics could be a really important conversation for Sato and Ryan to have to bring them closer, too. If Sato could try to explain, that would help Ryan realize what normal people's lives are like and whether he has to change how he acts to take care of them, especially her. I'm nervous because I know you've already written a bunch more chapters, and I'm wondering if Sato's parents have already died and what will happen to her relationship with Ryan because of that.
Once again, I really like that you present these characters so genuinely. At one moment, they're protective, but if you think about it another way, they're maybe stunting someone else's emotional growth and making the situation harder. Like Ryan would think he's doings something good for Sato, but wouldn't she hold it against him? Anyone would, I think. Then it would be interesting if she didn't because it would show how weak her character is, and then Ryan would be the one who is kind of taking advantage of her.
These are the things I'm thinking as I read this chapter. Hope they can be helpful to you!
PM with questions~
I dare to review and it's not so hard you see. I enjoy reading this, do I have to make myself clear again? =P One thing I should add before I say anything. When you cut from one scene to the other put this symbol in between '*****' You could put that in between the violet scene and the Ryan scene so the reader doesn't get confused.
You've left me wondering about what it was exactly that Mauve wanted. A necklace but what for? I guess I'll find out sooner or later. I really liked how you started Ryan's scene with Lavender questioning him about his parents and even the fact that he didn't need to breathe. That was a new one and it surprised me. This shows Lavender's agitation to know more about him.
I also liked your idea of using Sato to warn Ryan but just as then immediately the threat is in front of him. I really don't like those parents of hers. they're obnoxious. It felt good to see a little more action here, I love action. And it brings out more of Ryan's personality every time he threatens somebody. It shows that he's willing to protect the people he loves and he will do anything for them, even kill the people hurting Sato.
I'm liking Ryan's character even more, he still has a slight mystery to him though which is good. Overall, just recheck your work for a few punctuations and that's all. Nothing faulty at work here. Keep it up! =] I'll be waiting for the next chapter/episode.
well, this isn't really a review, but I don't know if they could be called episodes. They're a bit short. I would always double and triple check the little things. Your punctuation is pretty good, but spelling is a bit off. Commas are also very important. For example, in the last sentence, there should be a comma in between "said" and "hugging." Just some stuff like that. So yup, that's about it. Nice job, otherwise, just tweak it up and it could be even better.
Review if you dare!
I wish I could kill myself a hundred times no a billion times.
I will never forgive myself.
I did not review it while it was in the green room. D:
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!