z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language

Pokemon Ultimate Evolution: Episode 11, Complete Colouration.

by dark


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Everyone who lives in Rustboro City, had finaly returned. I watched from a bench facing into the city as they finished repairing the last of the damages from the storm. In no time at all, the town looked like there hadn't been any damage in the first place. Jason lay on my lap, sleeping quietly.
Now that the crazieness has ended here, maybe it will be a bit more quiet.
I carried Jason back to my room and placed him on a bed before briefly leaving the city to take a look at all that had been done by the floods. Besides some large puddles and an overflowing pond, nothing seemed to be destroyed.
"Ugh, my aching legs." Someone said in the distance. "Why did I have to be called back to somewhere so far away?" A tall, skinny woman with short pale, purple hair, wearing a white button down shirt and black pants walked on the path to the city, dragging her purple sneakers along the way. A ringing started in her pocket and she pulled out a silver phone that had the same purple sneaker on it that Violet's had. She groaned and answered it.
"Hey, Mauve!" Someone exclaimed over the phone. "How are you doing?"
"I'm tired as hell, Zoey. So freaking tired." She groaned. "What did'ja want?"
"I just wanted to know if you were still coming." Zoey said cheerfully. "Are Zenith and Donna still with you?"
"They fell back a long time ago." Mauve said getting closer to the city. "I don't understand why, but really I just don't care. As long as they get here on time."
She paid me no mind and trudged into the city.
When I got back to my room, Violet was taking another bath in the other part of the room. Jason lay on Violet's bed, waiting for me to return to him. As I walked through the door, he rolled around on the bed trying to get my attention. He had grown even more and was almost the size of Sato. I picked him up and fed him some berries I had bought before I got there.
"Man, you sure do eat a lot." I whispered to him. That's was good, since Pokemon his age have to be well fed in order to grow.
A few minutes later, Violet finished her bath and came out after she finished getting dressed. She plopped herself on the bed and pulled out her phone again.
"Hey, Ryan, have you heard from Sato yet?" She asked me.
"No. Her mother is probably keeping her from coming to see us." I answered.
"Oh, yeah. Right. Man, why doesn't Sato stick it to Zoey already. It's not like Zoey is strong enough to kill her."
"That may be," I said. "But Sato, well, she doesn't seem to be capable of doing those kind of things."
Violet picked Jason up and held him in her arms.
"That sucks. I wanted to talk to her some more."
Suddenly, Violet's phone began to ring. She picked it up and let Jason out of her arms. She talked on it for a while and then got very excited. She hang up the phone and squealed. "Ryan, come on. There's someone you have got to meet."
"Okay, then."
Jason stayed in the room while Violet ran to her house. I ran close after her. "Violet, you are very excited about this. This person must be very important to you."
"Oh yeah, definetly."
I followed Violet into her house and up the stairs. She ran into a room to the side on the stairs and looked inside.
"Mom!" She exclaimed. She ran up to the woman I saw early and gave her a hug. "I'm so happy you're here!"
"So am I kid. I couldn't bear to be away from you kids anymore!" She said returning Violet's hug. "I see you brought a friend."
Violet ran over to me.
"Mom, this is my boyfriend Ryan!" Violet exclaimed giving me a tight hug from my side and kissing my cheek.
"I see you've made my daughter quite happy, Ryan." She smiled. "My name's Mauve."
"It's nice to meet you Mauve." I said returning her smile.
"I don't mean to be rude but could, you two, love birds step out, while I change?" She asked.
"Of course." I answered. "Violet come on."
We left the room and closed the door behind us. "I like your mother already."
"Everyone does. She such a great worker. That's why I don't see her often." Violet rambled.
"Uh huh." I nodded. "So, what's this boyfriend thing about hmm?"
"Trust me, it will happen. I hate to say this but after her dad gets back, Sato will be forced to leave with her parents ." Violet laughed. "I'm not trying to be a bitch, but after she's gone, you'll have me all to yourself."
"Yeah.... Okay, then...."
"Well, enough about that. You wanna look around? I'm gonna wait for my mom."
"Sure."
I walked through the hallway on the second floor. There was an open door on the left and a locked door at the end of the hallway. When I walked to the open door, Magenta caught me and hugged have me a hug.
"Ryan!!" She squealed. "You're back!"
"Well, hello, Magenta." I smiled. "How are you doing little cutie?"
"I'm fine!" She said with a blushing face. "Can I show you something?"
"Sure." She grabed my hand and pulled me into the room and closed the door.
"This is my room, Ryan!" She exclaimed. "Do you like it?"
"Or course I do, it's very pretty." I said looking at all of her decorations and drawings on the walls of the huge room.
"Hold on. Before you go I want to give you something. Close your eyes."
I did while Magenta looked around for what she wanted to give me. "Hold out your hand."
She placed a purple rose in my hand. It smelled so odd and sweet.
"That's my favorite rose. They're really, really, really, rare! I want you to have it."
"Thank you, Magenta. I'll make sure to keep it safe. Always." I said carefully holding the rose in my hand.
"Close you eyes again, Ryan. I want to give you something else." She said. She gave me a peck on the lips and giggled. "That's for good luck, Ryan." She giggled.
"Well, I should be very lucky from now on, shouldn't I?" I said. "I'll see you around."
"Bye Ryan."
I left Magenta by herself with the rose in my hand. Lavender stopped me at the before I got to the end of the hallway.
"What are you doing, Ryan?" She asked with her arms folded over her chest.
"Just having a look around." I answered.
"Oh, would you like to see something?"
"Sure you lead the way."
She took me to the other end of the hallway and opened the door to the side of the locked one. A dark stairway was behind it. Lavender flipped a switch and the stairway instantly lit up with three large lights. She grabbed my hand and led my up he stairs, closing the door behind us.
"Have you ever been so excited that you just lose control of yourself and do something that you would regret later?" That was a random question, I almost didn't know what to say.
"Uh, no. I haven't." I said looking puzzled. "Why do you ask?"
"Just wondering. Because one day you will." She said mysteriously.
"Lavender, where exactly does this stair lead?"
"My room." She said, stopping suddenly. "I want to show you something very important."
"You know what... Because I already have seen, Magenta's room, I don't think I want to see someone else's right now. I hope you understand."
"No, no I don't. But if you say so..." She said, releasing my hand. "I'll be up there if you need me."
I left the stair, and went back to the first floor.
Kray greeted me with another knife throw, which I swiftly intercepted once more.

"Damn, you're good, Ryan." He said in awe. "You're even better than me."

I said throwing the knife back at him.

"Just making sure you don't damage your walls with them." I said. "They look quite nice."

He let out a grunt and returned to his room in the back of the first floor. Violet came down the stairs with Mauve, who was now dressed in a white t-shirt with a mauve tint and black leggings.

"So, you're going to be staying with Ryan, Vi?" She asked looking at Violet.

"Yeah." She asked. "If you need us, we're nearby."

"Great! Because I wanted to ask Ryan something."

"Hmm, what is it?" I asked.

"We are going to be gone for a day or two, and I was wondering if you would like to babysit, Magenta while we're gone." She said.

"I would be happy to." I smiled. "I even have a little brother who she could play with."

"Welll that's great, Ryan!" She exclaimed giving me a hug. "Thank you."
Violet, Mauve and Kray left the house to do, whatever they were planning to do. I quickly ran back to my room to get Jason and head back. When I got back, Magenta was waiting at the door.
"I thought you left me" She said with tears. "You're not gonna leave me alone are you?"
I picked her up and carried her inside. I wiped her tears and hugged her.
"Why would I leave you by yourself?" I said trying to comfort her. "That wouldn't be nice."
"So.. You're not gonna leave me alone?" She said her tears slowing down her.
"Of course not. Your my future girlfriend remeber? Haha!
She laughed with my and gave me another peck.
"I know. I'll stop crying." I put her down. Jason looked at her with his head cocked to the side. He held his hand out to her as if he wanted to shake hers. Magenta picked him up and hugged him tightly. "He's so cute!!" She squealed. "What's his name?"
"His name is Jason. Don't hug him to tightly or he might get scared." I said.
She put him down and walked me back to her room. Jason hopped around in the new area and examined everything. When he hopped onto Magenta's dresser, he was fixated on the mirror in from of him. He knew what it was, but he had never looked at himself in a mirror that much.
"Jason really likes your mirror." I laughed.
"Wow, Jason is just so cute." Magenta gawked. "Even cuter than Violet. And she's the cutest girl in the city!"
"Haha, not as cute as you. Haha!" I laughed.
Magenta blushed scarlet.
"Thanks." She giggled.
Lavender stormed into the room and glared at us. Magenta hid under the covers on her bed. "No, she scary when she's like this." She said shivering in fear.
"Why are you in here?" She said angrily. "You shouldn't be in here!"
"Your mother asked me to baby sit Magenta while they are gone for a few days." I said. "What's the problem?"
"You're the problem, Ryan. You have always been the problem."
"I don't understand, I'm simply doing what your mother asked me to do. I didn't have to but I did, so when you have something important to say let me know, okay?" I said, annoyed.
She stepped closer to me, I stood up and was face to face with her.
"I am looking out for my both of my sisters. I know what a freak like you likes to do for fun. You like to ruin the lives of other people!" She yelled.
"Now you're just sputtering nonsense, Lavender. I don't know who told you that I ruin the lives of others, but I don't." I said with an angry look. "That's not what I'm here for. I don't know if you're just trying to make yourself look better, but it's not helping you at all. Now I see why Violet calls you selfish. I see why Indigo left you guys. It was because of you, wasn't it?Your selfish desires and actions drove him away."
"Magenta, get up! Lets go!" She yelled.
"No, not until you stop being mean!" Magenta screamed from under the covers.
Jason grabbed Lavender's hair to stop her from yelling at Magenta.
"Get off of me you stupid thing! Magenta if you don't get up, I'm going to drag you outta here."
"If you touched either of them, you won't live to see your sisters again." I said pointing out of the room. "Now get out."
She became silent. She turned and left the room, slamming the door behind her. Jason looked at me with a smile.
"I-is she gone?" Magenta said coming out from under the covers.
"Yeah she's gone." I answered.
When Magenta came out from under the covers, her body was all red.
"Magenta, what's wrong, you're all red." I said, concerned.
She liked up her shirt and looked at her belly, then hers arms and legs. She looked in the mirror at her face. She was completely red. I placed my hand on her forehead. It was hotter than the heat of Jason's chest.
"I don't know what's going on! Ryan, what's going one I don't know what's going on!!!" She screamed. She ran around the room in a frenzy. "What gonna happen to me?" She said frantically.
"Magenta calm down." I said running over to her. "Just be calm, nothing is going to happen to you."
I knew of something like this. Flame Fever. One of its causes is extreme fear in small children. "Magenta, how old are you?"
"Five.."
She was definetly the right age to get a Flame Fever after being scared out of her mind by Lavender's screaming. And her being under such heavy covers in the process would definetly induce the fever even more.
I went over to her and picked her up.
"Calm down, Magenta." I said. I lay her down in the bed. "This isn't so serious. You just need to stay cool. It will go away in a while. Do you feel strange?"
"No, I feel fine. I'm scared, Ryan." She said.
"Don't be scared. Nothing is going to happen to you, okay? You'll be fine as long as you stay cool.
I turned on the large air conditioner in her room and closed the window. Jason hopped on her bed and snuggled under her neck. I pulled him away to keep her cool. "Sorry Jason, but you can't be near her while she's like this." I said. He wiggled out of my hands and places a hand on her cheek. He closed his eyes and the wings, that protruded from his wrist, started to flash red at their ends. While the ends of his wings slowly turned to a scarlet color, the red from Magenta's body slowly faded away.
"Hmm, Jason, I don't know what you just did, but great job!" I exclaimed. He hopped on Magenta's chest and smiled at her. "Thanks Jason, but will you be okay?" She asked.
"I think he'll be fine."
Jason possesses some really odd power. I shouldn't dwell on it, but it interest me greatly.
Lavender, cracked the door open and peered into the room.
"Ryan, can I talk to you?" She said softly. I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me.
"What's this about?" I asked.
"I'm really sorry about what I said. I-I-I just thought that you were trying to replace Indigo." She whipered. "I was my fault that Indigo left. I'm so, so, sorry."
"You're thatcrazy?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you actually think I was trying to replace someone I will never idolize, and will probably never meet. You have got the nerves, Lavender, I'll tell you that. But if you're seriously apogizing to me, I accept."
"Kiss on it?"
"No, don't even try. I'll give you a hug though." I smiled.
She hugged me and left to her room, which I had yet to see.
Something about the Colourless family is such an enigma. I love it...


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228 Reviews


Points: 5063
Reviews: 228

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Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:12 am
Twinkle4ever wrote a review...



Now that the crazieness has ended here, maybe it will be a bit more quiet.

This looks like a thought, you should put it in inverted commas or write in italic, because it’s in present tense.

before briefly leaving the city to take a look at all that has been done by the floods

This one’s in present tense too.

Besides some large puddles and an overflowing pond, nothing seemed to destroyed.

seemed to #0000FF ">be destroyed.

"Hey, Ryan, have you heard from #FF0000 ">Sayo yet?"


but after she's gone, you'll have me #FF0000 ">wall to yourself."


Magenta caught me and hugged have me a hug.


"Hold #FF0000 ">on your hand."


Lavender stopped me at the before I got to the end of the hallway.


She grabbed took my hand and led my up he stairs, closing the door behind us.


Violet came down the stairs with her Mauve

Just pointing out the things you might have missed.

Now that I’m done with nitpicks, I’ll start with the things I liked.

I really liked Ryan’s character, although I haven’t read the previous chaps but I think he’s a kind person, the way he cared for Magenta was really sweet. And although I’m not sure yet which pokemon Jason is but he’s just as caring as his tamer (and also has a unique ability). I really enjoyed reading the whole piece, Violet’s family seems to be very friendly, dragging Ryan around everywhere for his attention. I didn’t like Lavender for stomping in and shouting like that but it was ok since she apologized later.

It was all fast paced and that kind of suited the situation. I loved Ryan’s dialogues the most. It really brought out his character.

An improvement that could be made would be…

"Now get out."
She turned and left the room, slamming the door behind her.


This part seems too rushed. Maybe if you add that Lavender glared at him for a few seconds before stomping out, something like that would slow it down a little.

Other than that, overall, it was a very nice chapter, I seriously love all the characters already. Especially Magenta and Ryan. Are you going to post more chaps cz if you do then do notify me. =] Keep at it!!




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241 Reviews


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Reviews: 241

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Tue Jul 02, 2013 1:51 am
Jonathan wrote a review...



Hello dark I am here to write you a review and I sure hope it helps you out some.

Well I think you might have used to muck Dialog and maybe to much punctuation.

I could bear to be away from you kids anymore!
I think that in this line you meant to say I couldn't but no problem also you said or one time right after this line so just re read it find it and fix it.

I was my fault that Indigo left.
First who is Indigo secound I was my fault make no sense, I would also advise just reading through it and finding the mistakes in this I am sure that I missed some of them.

Well this was a lot better than the other ones but he is kind of "kissing" a lot of people. :P

This part was great I loved the hole thing it made sense and well it was great keep it up and please don't stop.

Keep writing and your writing will improve.

~Jon~ :pirate3:




dark says...


I agree, Ryan does kiss a lot of people. Of course when he kisses Magenta, is supposed to be a joke since he *sort of* promised her that they would date when Violet lost intrest in him. But yeah, I'll make sure he lays off a bit. Thanks for the review! :)



jordin says...


XD




"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."
— Bishop Desmond Tutu