*This song/poem is under my folder titled “Elsdale circus”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1410. I might change what I wrote about the Hatchetts because they were not particularly good parents to Percy, but I’m not sure. Anyway, enjoy!*
Mr. and Mrs. Hatchett
Up in the Heavenly sky
Wished so deeply
That they didn’t leave Percy to die
For while he may have been different
And they didn’t know he’d walk to the circus
They felt partially to blame
That his powers made them feel nervous
Mr. and Mrs. Shapcott
Don’t think they’ve tried hard enough
For when Leopold went to Hell
They didn’t think him tough
They watched from the fires below
As he did his evil deeds
Still, they thought it wasn’t enough
With him, they were never pleased
Only his powers interested them both
He didn’t use them as much as they would like!
Sebastian Shapcott, down in Hell
He was oh disappointed that Leopold didn’t cause more of a fright
Both Percy and Leopold
One in Heaven, one in Hell
Find it hard to communicate to their parents
Perhaps one day they’d make up with all of their family
Wherever they may be
It all depends on what they pick next
It all depends on how they want to write their story
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,736 Reviews
@Ravena you might want to check this out!
Hello there creeper!!
Hop here with a review!! I don't think I'll have enough time before the timer runs out so but I'm still gonna review this anyway cause it's been a long time and I'm also using voice to text so I'm so sorry about that but anyway let's get into this review before the I don't think I'll have enough time before the timer runs out so but I'm still gonna review this anyway cause it's been a long time and I'm also using voice to text so I am so sorry about that but anyway let's get into this review before the countdown ends hopefullycountdown!!!!!
Overall I think this poem is really like if it's filled with a lot of regrets and I think that's not a good thing to say cause especially since the poem is literally tiled parental regrets so yeah I'm just saying that you did an amazing job portraying something once again and it just really shows how much like Yeah I think you did amazing on the title
I think it like shows like how like a parent is like really realizing how much like they failed their children and it Shows that even like when they think that they did their best they know that they can't do anything else to help their children and that it's kind of just like show how they have to live with that and like how they just have to put their trust and that child if that makes any sense
I am so rusty at reviewing please forgive me I know this review absolutely sucked but yes you're such a good writer and I can tell you definitely improved!!!
Love, hop
Thx for reviewing, I appreciate your comments. <3
HELOOO YWS MEMBER!!!!!!!! :3
I am actually transfixed by the parallel world-building you have done in just a few stanzas! :O! The contrast between the Hatchetts in Heaven and the Shapcotts in Hell creates such a striking and tragic mirror for Percy and Leopold. It feels like a haunting ballad about the legacy parents leave behind even after they are gone!I am electrified by how you handled the different types of parental regret. Seeing the Hatchetts feel "partially to blame" because Percy’s powers made them nervous is so heartbreakingly human. It makes their Heaven feel a little less perfect because of that lingering guilt! The way they are not even sad Leopold is in Hell but are just "disappointed" he is not being evil enough is such a chilling and vivid character choice!Your vocabulary gives this such a classic and fable-like edge. I love the way the word "nervous" for the Hatchetts and "pleased" for the Shapcotts really highlights the gap between fear and greed. It is so rare to see a poem balance such a wide cosmic scale with such intimate and pained family dynamics! I am so empathetic toward Percy and Leopold because it feels so real that they are still struggling to communicate with parents who never truly understood them. The way you ended with "It all depends on how they want to write their story" is amazing because it gives the characters back their power! I am totally captured by this mystery and what happens if they finally meet in the middle! LOVE IT !!!
-Klee 2.0 Kaboom :3
Nataleee
yayyy I%u2019m glad you liked it!
I really like this! It was so good! I'm assuming that the people in the poem are your pwn characters, they seem so interesting! My poems doesn't turn out nearly as good as this! 0w0
thank you for reading! yes, they are my original characters! I'm glad you enjoyed this and I am sure your poems are good in their own way! Everyone writes differently according to their style.