*This song/poem is under my folder titled “Elsdale circus”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. The words in “ are the parents’ thoughts and are not necessarily right or true. Now…enjoy!*
Caspian and Margot’s Mom and Dad down in Hell
Could never understand why their children got along with each other so well
Caspian was a monster
And Margot was too sweet
But up in Earth no one seemed disturbed
They loved each other true and deep
Oh, the hatred burned hotter in Hell
Their Mom and Dad would never apologize at all
For they believed wholeheartedly that
“Caspian had gotten what was coming to him
He didn’t deserve an ounce of love
Not even a pinch
For Hell was where it was at
And Hell would come to him”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello again.
I am not caught up on your series, but I still liked this poem, so hopefully you get some use out of this review.
This feels a LOT darker than your Creepypasta content, which makes me curious about what the rest of this series looks like. Like Ravena talked about, just the idea that some kids’ parents could be so hateful toward their own children that they would be so dismissive of their suffering (presumably at least some of which was inflicted by them), and so resentful as to say “they had it all coming,” is so disgusting. But for as evil as it is, it is a cool dynamic to explore with your characters, especially when contrasting it with the bond between the children themselves. Plus, awful as it is, there are people like that in the world.
I give this a 9/10. Very dark, but cool. Nice job.
I do expand upon this in my stories under my folder %u201CElsdale circus%u201D. So glad you enjoyed!
Hello, My Friend!
Hiya, FeverDreams! I am here to review this lovely poem, so let's dive right in, shall we?
To start, OH MAN, this poem felt so much eerier and just darker than most of the ones that have come out thus far, and what a grim reminder of where Caspian came from. Just the idea of these parents being in literal HELL, and still bearing that grudge against their only child, is absolutely sickening.
*ahem* As for a more technical review, I have nothing to recommend! This poem was very nice as-is.
For favorite lines and parts though, I would have to pick...
I really love the stark contrast in emotion here. even while Caspian and Margot are minding their own respective business, far away from these clowns (and not the good kind!), they STILL just hate him. And hatred like that, particularly against your own innocent child, I believe justifies that sentence down there.
Ugh, that part made my stomach turn. "He got what was coming to him." Noooo, that's so evil man!
"Hell would come to him," especially combined with that earlier imagery of hellfire being fueled by the parents' hatred...What an eerie ending.
Overall, this was a great poem! I forgot how much I liked Caspian in this saga. Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
I%u2019m glad you liked this!