The day was chilly, but my hands were clammy with sweat. Clearly, I was more anxious than I wanted to admit. Still, I pressed on.
Instead of simply flicking the time off this time, I concentrated and held against it. Magic swelled inside me and radiated out into the world. My body felt cold and light-headed, as if my soul was about to drain with it.
Then it all stopped. My surroundings turned gold, except a little darker this time. Black spots dotted the corners of my surroundings like rust on an album.
I took my first breath in the stagnant air.
“I did it,” I told Laza’veya. “Now we just have to find Lina!”
I turned around, smiling triumphantly, but what I saw made me freeze.
Shadows. Giant coils of them, slithering on the walls, writhing on the ground like worms. Little spectrums of colors danced upon them, similar to the dots of color you’d see after closing your eyes.
I stared at the slug-like creatures, petrified with horror. “L-Laza’veya…?” I croaked quietly – but there was no answer.
Before I could react, the creatures converged into one mass of shadow and flew right at my eyes.
I screamed. Moments later, hell descended on earth.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The city, always so lively and busy at this time of day, was completely still and lifeless. Not a single human moved or spoke.
Only the shadows’ screams could be heard.
I stumbled from place to place, my throat raw, my eyes half-blindfolded by the shadows that blocked in my vision –
“Help!” I yelled. “Somebody! Laza’veya!”
I could hear the creatures drifting closer. It was loud, so loud, all of their constant cries filling and piercing my ears. They were scattering in every direction, their unearthly screams dispersing with them. I tripped and fell, barely clasping to a stranger’s arm at the last second.
“Please…” I cried, hitting the arm weakly. But they were frozen.
Everyone was, all because I’d frozen time. Yet I couldn’t undo it, and I didn’t know why – I’d lost control.
And Laza’veya was gone.
Somehow, deep inside, I knew that this was its doing. I’d been tricked.
I could no longer hear my own sobs above the shrieks of the monsters. They were coming through portals and tears everywhere – giant shadows and snakes from another space, slipping into this world.
What’s going on?
I continued to yell, even as my knees buckled and I sank to the ground. “Laza’veya! Lina! Someone, please – it’s dangerous, w-we have to do something!”
My legs shook as I forced myself to stand and move. “Please. I’m sorry I was a fool, anyone, break out of this spell!”
Yet my pleas were left unanswered.
~When time is away, the creatures from space will come to play.~
Is the world going to end? I thought with dread. While I’m helpless – completely helpless?
“Sarah!” A familiar voice floated on the wind, faint compared to the monsters’ cries. “Sarah! Where are you?”
For a moment, I couldn’t believe my ears. Disbelieving relief gushed through my veins as I stood, shouting my sister’s name. “Lina! I’m here!”
Tears stung at my eyes. I walked forward, blind, arms stretched out –
Lina caught me, grabbing my hands as my knees buckled again. She pulled me into her arms where I stayed, sobbing, holding on for dear life.
“Are you okay?” she asked in panic. “Are you hurt?”
“Lina, I can’t see.” I forced myself to admit the truth. “Laza’veya…tricked me. It said that if I did this, y-you could be saved!”
“I told you. I told you not to listen to it.” Her voice was filled with harsh despair. Still, she hugged me tighter as I wept, trying to comfort me – even though this time, she couldn’t lie that everything was okay. I could still hear the monsters’ cries. There was no escape.
“I’m sorry!” I sobbed, my voice trembling. “I just wanted to help you, a-and there was no one else who would give me answers besides Laza’veya!”
Lina drew back, but I couldn’t see her reaction to my words. After a second, she grasped my hand and gave it a tight squeeze.
“Then it’s my fault, too,” she said quietly. “I hid everything from you. In a way, I’d pushed you towards Laza’veya. I’m sorry, Sarah.”
I tried to lift my head, looking up in her direction.
“Lina, just what’s going on? How did you know Laza’veya?”
She took me by the arm and guided me into what seemed like a nearby alley, from what I could see through the scrawls of black wriggling in my vision. I placed my hand against the wall, grateful for something stable to lean against.
“We don’t have much time, so listen carefully,” Lina said. “Laza’veya, like the shadows, are creatures from a different world. I found Laza’veya when I was a child, not long after I discovered my powers. And just like you, I fell for its lies.” She cut off bitterly. “…It’s a long story, but Laza’veya tricked me into freeing it – and it wreaked havoc for some time, until with some others’ help, I managed to imprison it again.”
I listened in shock. “‘Others?’”
“Yes. People who also had... strange powers.” Lina paused. “Still, Laza’veya was able to use magic, even within its cage. It used what remained of its power to curse me, and I left France in the hopes of finding a cure and keeping our family out of danger.”
She fixed me with a firm stare. “The fact that Laza’veya is using you like this and hasn’t cursed you shows that it’s depleted its power. That should make things easier for us.”
Countless of questions filled my brain, but I knew time was running out. Pushing them away, I whispered, “Then Lina, what can I do? Besides, h-how did me freezing time lead to this?”
“Those entities are creatures are from another Space,” Lina explained. “As long as life exists and time flows on Earth, a barrier is set up around it. Thus, the creatures are locked out and forbidden to enter. It’s the way this universe works to protect us.” For a second, I could vaguely make out her silhouette, staring up at the clock tower far away. “If they dared to venture here – such as Laza’veya had tried – they’d be punished and trapped before they could hurt anyone, until the day they fade away. But if time stops and life even temporarily vanishes…”
I felt sick to my stomach. “By freezing time, I disabled the barrier. I let those creatures in.”
“That’s right,” she admitted gently.
It was starting to make sense now – Laza’veya’s cage, its determination to make me use my powers, and its curse on my sister, Lina, who could control the movement of time.
“What do we do now?” I furiously wiped at my tears. “I…I can’t undo my time spell.” There has to be another solution. There has to be, I thought desperately.
“Laza’veya’s weakness.” Lina’s voice was bleak and grave. “If your spell is what’s causing this, then I’ll undo it. After all, I can speed up time.”
I jolted in shock. “W-what? I’ve never seen you use…” Then I realized it, and my blood ran cold. “No, you can’t! Your curse-”
“It’s fine. I know my abilities.” Her words were resolved. From hearing that alone, I felt my heart crack open. “My curse is nothing compared to the rest of the world’s importance. I can handle a little sacrifice.”
“Lina…” Confusion made me dizzy. “Y-you don’t know how much the price would be. What if the curse spreads?”
A beat of silence. And then…
“I know,” she said softly. “There’s a chance I won’t survive this. But it has to be done.”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Eh, why not wrap this thing up in one day ha!
Alright, everything is coming crashing down together at one time. We've had a decent amount of build-up to this so I was excited.
Overall I think this is a good penultimate part. I was right about Laza'veya (never did like 'em). The one thing I will say is that I feel like I don't know WHY the creatures want to take over other planets. Is it a need? Or are they simply warmongering?
In that same instance though, I think it's really cool to consider that by allowing time to pass, for people to age and die, for things to grow and wither, rise and fall, on an individual basis it protects the existence of Earth on its macro-scale. By sacrificing immortality they get to enjoy mortality. Interesting concept.
As for Lina, I like that she took responsibility and didn't hate on Sarah, probably because she saw a lot of her in Sarah. However, knowing just HOW DANGEROUS Laza'veya is, why didn't she tell Sarah? Unless I'm missing something, there was no reason to be so secretive. It isn't like she didn't know that Sarah had powers or was going to restart the apocalypse.
Also, this did make me wish we had seen more elaboration on Lina's powers and Sarah learning what they were because we could have gotten some foreshadowing where Lina accidentally admits to being able to speed up time but has to cover her tracks for why she doesn't use it. Anyway, on to the banging finale!
~Messy
Hi! This is a random weirdo here to review.
Uh oh. This doesn't look good. Lina's willing to sacrifice herself for the world! What a... okay there aren't any strong enough words to describe how caring she would be to do that... oh! I know! Let's make up a word! What an opelloforgnae thing to do! (I hope she'll be okay though)
I'm so excited you released another part! I can't believe there's only one more... But that means the next will be the ultimate finale, and everything will come into place soon! I can't wait for it! (Even if it's somehow not good (not likely), I'll still love it)
As alpacaboss said, this is really inspiring to me as well in that you made it this far with your story. (I haven't even published chapter one yet. No prologue either...) Yeah I never finish my stories. Typically don't even get past chapter one. So this is mega inspiring for me!
I love all the tension you built throughout the whole series, and it's really well written! You're description is great and the action is interesting. Also, I really like this simile; I think it fits perfectly:
However, I guess I don't quite understand one part. Sarah used to freeze time all the time. How is this time different? (Ahh! Too many times!)
Keep writing, and have an amazing day/night!
Hey Orabella, thanks for reading & reviewing!

:O Whaa that's such a cool word! Opelloforgnae... opelloforgnae... did you come up with that on the spot?
And yes, haha, just one more part to go! Honestly I've lost most of my energy for this story, so Im just hoping to be done with it soon so I can move on to other stufff. >_< But seeing ur guys' reviews really boosts my motivation. So, thank you!
Haha you're right about that! Uhh... *me totally having no explanation for that* I guess it's different because Sarah is freezing time for longer than she's ever done before. Or Laza'veya has tricked her into trying to freeze time permanently, hence the color of her surroundings being darker than usual. So anyways, this longer, stronger time-freeze gave the creatures enough time to get through the barrier. They move when the humans can't. And sadly Sarah has lost control of her spell now :'D Aghh I'll have to explain that better in the story. You discovered a plot hole!!
Of course! And yeah, I came up with it on the spot. Honestly it's kind of a mishmash of my username and... I don't even know what.
I've been known to give up on writing early in. It isn't necessary to continue if you don't want to do it. Writing is about having fun, (I assume that's why everyone on here is here), and if it's not fun for you, skip it. Move on to something you enjoy. You don't have to continue to do something that others want you to do if you don't like it. I would love to see the ending, if that's what you want. But I'd be just as happy to see other writing you do to replace the time you would have spent on this.
I dunno if that made sense, but hopefully it helps.
If you're looking for patches on your hole of plots, I could help you brainstorm if you'd like. One idea: previously, Sarah's power doesn't stop time entirely. It only manipulates it; holds it, but doesn't stop it. Think of a rubber band. Once Sarah starts to freeze time, it's like she's pulling on the stretchy substance. The more she goes, the tighter she's pulling on it. Things are still happening, but it's turning into potential energy. Once she lets go and time unfreezes, the rubber band is released and time continues. It never actually stops. But what Laza'veya has her do is different. She's pulling on something hard. Or maybe semi-hard. Like slime or silly-putty (if you know what that last one is). When she stops time now, she pulls on the slime and it stretches. But once she tries to release it back to normal, it doesn't snap back into place like the rubber band. It stays stretched, even when you let go. Now it's permanent.
Okay, I don't know. That's one idea. But if you want to continue, I'd be happy to help!
Hi Orabella!
You're right, I guess writing is supposed to be about having fun! (Even if, tbh, I feel like there's always a bit of stress in it too haha. ;-;) But dw, overall, I think I'll be fine with working on Time & Space! While I complain a lot, I do wanna see it through. And there's only one more part >_<
Ty though! I agree with you, writing should not be cuz of pressure. (Though sometimes Im lazy and I need the friendly push, which is why I've been forcing myself to finish T&S before I move on XD)
Woah. WOAH. That's a very cool and creative idea! *mindblown*
Honestly that would totally make more sense than my current idea lol. However, I'd have to go back and change a lot if I wanna take this route, so I think I'll leave the story as it is for now. Buut if I ever go back and edit it, I'm gonna consider using this idea. I have a screenshot of it saved!
Tysm for the reply and suggestion, Orabellaa! It's very helpful and I really appreciate it! <3
No problem at all! Stress is definitely something you have to deal with in writing. And that's great that you want see it to the end. Perseverance! Only, don't push yourself too hard. If it takes you longer to write it than you'd like, great. Take however much time you need.
Anyway, that's enough of me blabbering on and on about how you should do stuff. (sorry if I was a little, I don't know, overdoing it) Have a more than awesome day!
Thxs, u too! And no worries, u werent blabbering!
That's great. Because sometimes I blabber a lot.
I just wanted to ask if you could tag me when you post the last chapter (no rush).
*Thumbs up* Will do!
Hip Hooray! The fourth part of "Time and Space"!
). Perhaps if you lengthened this story and expounded more, it would have potential as a novel!
I enjoy reading this because it inspires me to finish my own little project (albeit longer than 5 parts). Thanks for that
So anyways, on to the review!
Alright! A boatload of info right there which is good and at the same time needs improvement. Let me explain.
Your chapter tackled three major points in one sitting.
1. The origin of Laza'veya and the monsters
2. The backstory of Lina
3. The consequences of what Sarah has done
It's good that you were able to condense it all and make it flow naturally. However, I will suggest spreading out the information more, picking out at the tiny details. Like, giving us an example of how these creatures from outer space get in. It can be too much for the reader to intake. But it does adds to the suspense and the urgency of the chapter so it works both ways.
I love how Lina did not get mad at Sarah. Although her voice was with despair, she cared for her sister more than anything else, not wanting her to go through the same things as she did. It was a mistake though on both sisters' parts to not be open to each other. Perhaps this mishap will be avoided in the process. I understand how Lina is ready to sacrifice everything just for her sister to be safe. I appreciate that the characters are realistic with their own flaws and relatable traits.
Most of all, good job on the plot! I have this tendency to make up the plot as I go then agonize how it didn't work to my favor in the end HAHAHA. But that's something I could learn from you, how to make a good story without too much loose ends (as far as I can see
Overall, I like how the climax of the story has been reached. I can't wait for the last part
This is alpacaboss, signing off.
Hey alpaca! Thanks for reading and leaving a review!
Thxs again and have a nice day!
And yes, BAHAHA I've been taking like a million years to finish this storyy- at this point I'm just grinding my teeth and tryna get through it. X__X I'm glad that it's inspiring tho, even if I'm taking forever on each part!
Ahh Ic Ic. Ok, I should probably work on the exposition there. Thanks for pointing that out!
Actually, I was also fumbling with the plot while editing this- I just BS-ed most of it to seem like I knew what I was doing XD. Also, quick question, but what did you think of the whole creatures-from-space explanation? I'm not sure if it makes any sense..
This chapter was SUCH a pain to finish, but I guess it's part 4/5 so yeaa I'll try to get P5 done at some point. Reading your review has given me more motivation!
The creatures from space deserve some explanation although it is not entirely unbelievable especially if Laza%u2019veya is one of them. (Because she has supernatural powers so it makes sense if she was literally otherwordly) So perhaps a bit of explanation could help patch the confusion up

Im glad we gave each other more motivation HAHHA
Don%u2019t worry about taking forever, I%u2019m just making chapter 3 of my story and I%u2019m rethinking my decisions LOL
But I guess it is normal for us writers and we should not be too hard on ourselves. So keep going!
Mm, okay! Alr, thxs! *Thumbs up*
You are welcome!