Time & Space (Extra: 2/2)

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Bonus (Part 7/5)

I heard a thud and looked back to see the eldest girl had jumped down from the window.

“Allen, we should be more polite.” She walked over to me, her footsteps resounding through the alley. Her emerald-green eyes were calm, and her pink hair cascaded over her shoulders. Allen fell quiet and mumbled a “sorry” before sulking in the corner.

“Hello,” the girl said to me kindly. Something about her reminded me of Lina, but I pushed the thought away. “What’s your name?”

“Sarah,” I replied, mystified, then went silent. She feels…other-worldly somehow.

“Sarah,” she echoed thoughtfully. “My name’s Diane, and the little girl by the window is Victoria.” She paused. “You have a magic ability, don’t you? And it’s a powerful one too.”

She waited for my answer, and once again, I hesitated. Just because they caught Laza’veya doesn’t mean I can trust them. No way was I going to trust the wrong person again.

I glanced towards the alley’s exit. If I pushed past Kiera and Allen, then I could get out of here, but seeing as how they also had powers, that would be risky. I decided against it.

“First, what are you guys doing with Laza’veya?” I asked tentatively.

The little girl spoke up from the building’s window.

“It’s an important matter, and as you probably know by now, our situations are very… unique,” she explained, not looking up from her metal toy. “So, we can’t disclose it to just anyone.”

“Yeah.” Allen nodded, sounding more earnest this time. “Don’t take it personally.”

“Just know that our job is to lock away the creatures from Space,” Kiera assured, “like Laza’veya, to stop them from hurting anyone! Especially the stronger ones that can survive the barrie-”

“Kiera,” Allen mumbled. She stopped talking.

They all waited for me, including Diane, who was wearing a patient expression. My gut instinct told me to be careful; I shouldn’t trust strangers so easily. It could be a fatal mistake. But at the same time… what if I’m wrong? What if not trusting them is the mistake? They seemed to have good intentions. If I pushed them away now, I might regret it later…

“Okay. You wanted to know my power, right?” I asked uncertainly, deciding that I could reveal that at least. “I can freeze time.”

They all stiffened.

“What?” Kiera whispered.

Allen winced, throwing a glance down at Laza’veya. “Freeze time? With those powers, she’s more likely to work for Space-”

Which is why we want to talk to her first, right?” Diane interrupted.

Allen froze, sounded scolded despite her soft tone. “Yes...”

“If you’re afraid that I’ll help creatures like Laza’veya, then don’t worry. I swear I won’t,” I said fiercely. “Laza’veya, it…” I stumbled over my words. “It hurt someone dear to me. Lina.”

Recognition flickered in Diane’s eyes. The little girl in the window, Victoria, also turned her head.

“Lina?” Diane repeated, and I nodded. Just then, a memory tickled at the back of my head – something Lina had said that day.

“…Laza’veya tricked me into freeing it…until with some others’ help, I managed to imprison it again…”

“Yes. Other people with strange powers.”

With a jolt, I looked up at Diane. If she also knew Lina, then could she be one of those people Lina mentioned?

“Victoria,” Diane called out slowly. “You remember Lina, don’t you?”

The little girl was still for a long moment, her eyes staring off into space. No, wait, I realized. It seems she’s blind. Somehow, I got the impression that both Victoria and Diane were different from the others. They seemed older, more experienced than they appeared.

“I do. That was such a long time ago, though,” Victoria mused. “Even before Kiera and Allen joined. Does the girl look like Lina?” she asked suddenly. Diane studied me for a second.

“Yes, somewhat,” she replied.

“I remember Lina mentioned having a younger sister.” Victoria turned her head, locking her sightless gaze on me. “That must be you, right?”

I nodded. “Y-yes. That’s me.”

A smile dawned on Diane’s face. Only Kiera, Allen, and I remained puzzled.

“Then it’s settled,” Diane said, looking straight at me. “We have a new potential recruit.”

I froze. “Wait… what? Me?”

“Yep,” she confirmed as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “I know you have questions, but I promise I’ll answer those soon. Let’s just get out of here first.”

Before I could reply, Diane turned to Kiera and Allen.

“We’ve confirmed that Laza’veya is one of the stronger creatures, right?” she asked.

“Um… yeah!” Kiera responded, painting a smile over her confusion. “We can follow the procedure and take it to that place to lock it up.”

“Alright, then let’s go. And Sarah, you’ll be coming with us.”

I stood there in shock. Off to my side, Allen was sighing. “So now I have to use my power on five people.”

Questions vibrated through my head. “New recruit?” “That place?”

What the heck does that even mean?!

“Wait! Are we gonna be back soon?” I asked anxiously. “I don’t want my parents to worry!”

“Yes, it won’t take long,” came Diane’s reply. A split second later, she and the others turned translucent.

My heart skipped a beat. Their forms were foggy and ghost-like – and upon looking down at myself, I realized that I was, too.

It’s probably just Allen using his powers, I reminded myself, pushing away my fear. For a second, I had thought that were were…fading, just like Lina had.

“Are we… invisible now?” I asked aloud.

“Yes, you’re welcome. And I feel like dying,” Allen muttered.

Kiera chuckled. “Aw, come on, Al! Hang in there. We just needa get to the secret place.”

Curiously, I looked down at my see-through hands. It was kind of a cool power, to be honest. And it seemed I could see everyone this time, since I was invisible with them. I should ask more about their powers later.

“Anyways,” Allen said. “I’m sure nobody cares about my exhaustion, but can someone else carry Laza’veya’s cage, at least?”

“I can do it,” I volunteered, then paused. “…By the way, you guys are planning to imprison Laza’veya somewhere else, right? Not get rid of it?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, holding the cage out to me.

“Oh.” I felt a pang of disappointment. “Okay.”

He suddenly drew back before I could grab the cage. I looked up, confused. An uncharacteristic fear had slipped into his eyes.

“H-hang on,” Allen said nervously, his eyes darting around. “I sense murderous intent. Where is it coming from? Where…?” His eyes landed on me. “It’s you, isn’t it?! Nonono. I don’t trust you.”

Allen shook his head and moved away, still holding Laza’veya’s cage. I blankly watched him go.

“Oof,” Kiera said. “He’s just a scaredy cat.”

“Let’s go now, since we’re all ready,” Diane announced, crossing her arms. “Sarah, follow us, okay?”

I nodded. “Alright.”

For now, I didn’t fully trust them yet. But if they could just give me answers – and if I could watch Laza’veya get locked away for good – then the risk was worth it. Suddenly, I felt a twinge of sadness.

Lina… When did I last allow myself to think of her? Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to avenge you somehow, to find closure to this, I thought.

And if, in the end, I join these people… perhaps I can learn to use my power fearlessly again. To get revenge on the other creatures of Space, too.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Messenger
Review

Let's do this. One. Last. Time.

I really have been enjoying these. I do think that a girl with pink hair would've stood out more in the last chapter though, and either I'm blind, or I just missed it, but I don't remember a reference to it. Either way, just a small note to think about.

“Hello,” the girl said to me kindly. Something about her reminded me of Lina, but I pushed the thought away. “What’s your name?”


I haven't commented on your specific sentences much because it's been pretty good. However, this is a good example to point out. You use the word "kindly" to describe how Diane talks. but what is that? I'm not the strongest advocate for eradicating "ly" words, because at times I think they work just fine. but in this instance, this is a brand-new character. What does "kindly" sound like to Sarah from a stranger? What does Diane's tone, volume, or facial reaction say?

I love the callbacks to Lina and her friends. Makes me wonder where they were in the main storyline, but I suppose they stay very busy. I do wonder though why they don't just kill Laza'veya? I also like the dynamics between Allen, Kiera, and Diane. Diane gave me Vi from Arcane vibes, and Allen is understandably more against the whole thing. I like that even though we got a lot of answers in this part we also got a lot of new questions, like the small, blind girl, the prison, how making everyone invisible is possible etc. If this is the last piece, that's fine to. I think it ends on a good note.

~Messy

Hi Messy! I... *shook*

I'm so shook that you read the whole thing!! And in just a couple days too! I was away from YWS for a few days so I didn't see the notifs till now. But tysm, I really appreciate it! :D All your reviews are very detailed and helpful, I enjoyed reading them.

If you don't mind, there's just one question I'd like to ask: do you think my writing and sentences flow alright? I always get the feeling they're clunky and hard to read, but Idk how to fix it, and I'm not sure if I'm just being overly self-critical.

Thanks again!!

For the most part I think it moves pretty well. You have a lighter style than mine in regards to detail and description, but that doesnt make either one wrong. I didn't see anything major that stuck out. Until you see a pattern of reviews pointing out specific common problems I wouldn't worry about it.

Hiya! This is Orabella, here to review.

It's so amazing that you finished this! And it's beautifully written too; doubt I could have done it better.

Also, sorry for the delay. I've been pretty busy and haven't had a chance to read this until now.

I can't believe this has ended! I wish there was more, but honestly I don't know what else you could do. This ending is perfect, and I kinda feel like there's nothing else to say. I mean, Sarah's story isn't over, but I think we've heard all we can from her. Now it's time to move on, although not exactly for Sarah quite yet. She can't let things like Laza'veya get away with the things they've done; especially after what they did to Lina.

What I'm wondering now is how Lina came to get cursed? Was it by Laza'veya? Another creature from beyond the boundary? Whoever did it, they've gotta look out for her vengeful little sister.

I don't think I'm quite ready to accept that Lina is gone. I mean, I guess there's a slight possibility that she'll come back one day, but I think she really is gone. If only I could reach into the story and save her somehow! *sigh*

It seems these group of people are trustworthy, and I like how you hint at the other two girls (Diane and Victoria) being different from the others. I wonder how exactly? I guess I'll never know.

I feel like stories too often end with a happily ever after, though yours doesn't do that. Sarah's life keeps going, and there may be more story to tell (one day?), which I personally think is better.

Overall, this was just such a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it with YWS! And even if you never write another word for this story, keep writing other things.

I loved your story thiiiiiis much. Wait, more!
Image

Hi again, Orabella!

Tysm for the kind words! :D And ahh that bunny is so cutee -- I want that as my desktop BG now T_T
To be honest, I didn't have much motivation or confidence when I started posting this story, so, I'm really happy to hear you enjoyed it. Your words mean a lot to me! I- *speechless XD*

Thanks for reading and reviewing T&S! <3

User avatar
alpacaboss
Review

Hello!! And to the graaandd finale of the bonus chapter of Time and Space! I'm very glad and satisfied with the ending because somehow you tied up some loose ends and made sense of other things, while keeping us still intrigued! Let's get started with this review. :D

“Sarah,” I replied, mystified, then went silent. She feels…other-worldly somehow.

“Sarah,” she echoed thoughtfully. “My name’s Diane, and the little girl by the window is Victoria.” She paused. “You have a magic ability, don’t you? And it’s a powerful one too.”

She waited for my answer, and once again, I hesitated. Just because they caught Laza’veya doesn’t mean I can trust them. No way was I going to trust the wrong person again.


Poor girl, I can hear the trauma radiating off the page. It really hurts when someone you trusted broke your trust and even worse, did something to harm someone you love. It weighs incredibly hard and I've seen it happen so I can relate with Sarah. If I was her, I would do the same thing.


“First, what are you guys doing with Laza’veya?” I asked tentatively.

The little girl spoke up from the building’s window.

“It’s an important matter, and as you probably know by now, our situations are very… unique,” she explained, not looking up from her metal toy. “So, we can’t disclose it to just anyone.”

“Yeah.” Allen nodded, sounding more earnest this time. “Don’t take it personally.”

“Just know that our job is to lock away the creatures from Space,” Kiera assured, “like Laza’veya, to stop them from hurting anyone! Especially the stronger ones that can survive the barrie-”

“Kiera,” Allen mumbled. She stopped talking.


I like how you show that she is trying to ask more questions before revealing herself. It shows that she has (painfully) learned her lesson with Laza'veya on not to divulge too much about herself. Vulnerability is a complex thing and most people are afraid to show it, much more the people who have been hurt from showing it.

“Okay. You wanted to know my power, right?” I asked uncertainly, deciding that I could reveal that at least. “I can freeze time.”

They all stiffened.

“What?” Kiera whispered.

Allen winced, throwing a glance down at Laza’veya. “Freeze time? With those powers, she’s more likely to work for Space-”

“Which is why we want to talk to her first, right?” Diane interrupted.

Allen froze, sounded scolded despite her soft tone. “Yes...”

“If you’re afraid that I’ll help creatures like Laza’veya, then don’t worry. I swear I won’t,” I said fiercely. “Laza’veya, it…” I stumbled over my words. “It hurt someone dear to me. Lina.”

Recognition flickered in Diane’s eyes. The little girl in the window, Victoria, also turned her head.

“Lina?” Diane repeated, and I nodded. Just then, a memory tickled at the back of my head – something Lina had said that day.

“…Laza’veya tricked me into freeing it…until with some others’ help, I managed to imprison it again…”

“Yes. Other people with strange powers.”


THAT MAKES SENSE! That actually clarifies things! Now I wonder...how did Lina meet them? It would be understandable that Lina found herself in the same situation as Sarah, stumbling in a random alleyway because their "magical tingle" felt something, like energy. Things are more clear now and I like how you brought up that from the past chapters. makes things more cohesive!

With a jolt, I looked up at Diane. If she also knew Lina, then could she be one of those people Lina mentioned?

“Victoria,” Diane called out slowly. “You remember Lina, don’t you?”

The little girl was still for a long moment, her eyes staring off into space. No, wait, I realized. It seems she’s blind. Somehow, I got the impression that both Victoria and Diane were different from the others. They seemed older, more experienced than they appeared.

“I do. That was such a long time ago, though,” Victoria mused. “Even before Kiera and Allen joined. Does the girl look like Lina?” she asked suddenly. Diane studied me for a second.

“Yes, somewhat,” she replied.

“I remember Lina mentioned having a younger sister.” Victoria turned her head, locking her sightless gaze on me. “That must be you, right?”

I nodded. “Y-yes. That’s me.”

A smile dawned on Diane’s face. Only Kiera, Allen, and I remained puzzled.

“Then it’s settled,” Diane said, looking straight at me. “We have a new potential recruit.”

I froze. “Wait… what? Me?”


If these guys are on the level of Marvel superheroes, they must have had a lot of trust in Lina to immediately recruit Sarah. After all, you tend to trust someone if you were close to someone they were close to (if that makes sense)

Questions vibrated through my head. “New recruit?” “That place?”

What the heck does that even mean?!

“Wait! Are we gonna be back soon?” I asked anxiously. “I don’t want my parents to worry!”

“Yes, it won’t take long,” came Diane’s reply. A split second later, she and the others turned translucent.

My heart skipped a beat. Their forms were foggy and ghost-like – and upon looking down at myself, I realized that I was, too.


I love how they just whisked her away HHAHHA no questions asked. I wonder why so though, maybe their mission is direly important.

Lina… When did I last allow myself to think of her? Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to avenge you somehow, to find closure to this, I thought.

And if, in the end, I join these people… perhaps I can learn to use my power fearlessly again. To get revenge on the other creatures of Space, too


OHH, I wonder how this would go! A protagonist driven by revenge is always an interesting story. I wonder how she would be able to settle her guilt over her sister's death, avenge Lina once and for all, and how her life would change forever.

Overall, I love the ending and even if it seems like things are just getting started, it's a wonderful conclusion to your initial story which revolved around Sarah losing Lina. Great job in finishing a story and even adding more to it!

This is alpacaboss, signing off.

Hii alpacaboss! Thank you for the reviews and for reading T&S, I really appreciate it! <3

You're welcome! Keep writing :D



today we are possible.
— Lucille Clifton