"you should just tell her how you feel."
nice try, my well-meaning friends, but that will never happen.
would you like to sample one of my many excuses?
my stock is organic and robust, locally sourced, in fact,
from my own anxiety-fueled thoughts,
bottled up and sealed for freshness
behind my emotional walls.
it is my guarantee that my homemade, artisan,
wrote-the-recipe-myself excuses
resemble no excuses you've heard before -
I pride myself on using all-natural ingredients like
fear and self-esteem issues, with just a dash of
my inability to trust, topped off with a garnish
of my internalized homophobia.
you see, these are special excuses,
because they're made with a secret ingredient: love and
disgust at loving and
do I deserve love and
if I did it wouldn't be her love.
they're a passion project, these excuses.
for months I've carefully crafted them, refined them,
tried to deny them, but
just a bit more tinkering and I'll never have
those dangerous thoughts of telling her ever again,
and all these feelings will be for me alone
like feelings should be.
please, my well-meaning friends, take an excuse to go,
they're as foolproof as they are intuitive. in fact,
it is my guarantee that if you hear all my excuses
and still think that I should tell her how I feel,
then that would be an unfortunate case of user error,
and no you may not expect a refund,
and no there will be no recalls,
and maybe next time you should take your business elsewhere
and let me mind my own.
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139,753 Literary Works • 672,698 Reviews
Hey, cleverclogs! VegasLights here to review your poem. First off, THIS IS AMAZING. I love this poem so much and I love the way you captured your emotion was flawless. You didn’t use boring words which I really like, however, they weren’t too challenging that the average Joe wouldn’t understand. You displayed a lot of imagery with the words that you used. I don’t have amazing grammatical skills, but I did notice a few mistakes. There were a lot of commas in places where you could have used periods. I think you used commas for the flow of the poem, but don’t be afraid to use periods. I do love that you covered a sensitive topic because not many people will willingly write about internalized homophobia. Personally, I suffer from this because I’m afraid to admit my own feelings due to religion and other people. Thank you for writing an AMAZING poem.
Thanks, and I hope you're able to overcome your own internalized homophobia <3
I really enjoyed this. It had a very unique meaning to it. There's lots of details and the questions really help the flow. The imagery is awesome. The use of excuses as like a symbol is really cool. I really liked how it all came together in the ending. I do think there is a lot of commas in there and I'm not good at grammar really but they just a little take away from the flow. really loved the uniqueness and the way the poem was written. Keep writing!
Hey!
This is amazing! I love this so much! I think it's very original and very relatable. As a bi girl myself, I gotta say that this sums it up.
My one improvement suggestion would be: maybe try to go further into the fear of telling someone you like? I think this is a brilliant piece of work but I think you should try to delve into deeper emotions about why you hate to love and the homophobia you feel? what it means to be rejected? Past experiences? Or no experiences whatsoever?
The spelling and grammar seem good to me but then again I'm lost with those things since English is my third language ahahah either way! Great job!
For the rest, I loved this! Incredible! Keep Writing!
Snoops
i never get how poems work lol but this is kinda nice:]