I wish I was strong enough not to need you,
strong enough not to think (like you)
strong enough not to feel (like you)
but as the winter drips from my lungs,
and the metal cracks from the cold,
all I can do is hope
you'll be back soon.
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139,468 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
this is really good! you convey emotions really well. I'm sorry this is not that good of a reviews, I don't have much experience haha.
Amazing, as always! I love your style, it's very simplistic but yet there's so much weight to every single word.
I do have a bit of confusion about the 2nd & 3rd lines, though, as the last reviewer said. It might just be me being stupid, though. Does it mean "strong enough not to think like you" as in "strong enough not to think like you think" or does it mean "strong enough not to think, like you are"??? If the former, I suggest getting rid of the parentheses, and if the latter, then I'd get rid of the parentheses and put a comma before "like you".
This poem is also very vague, but I personally don't have any issue with it- most people would probably be frustrated by it though. After reading it, I still can't figure out if you're talking about a person, something abstract, like hope, or something else completely. That may have been your intention though.
Lastly, I don't really like the title to it, since the poem doesn't describe who the "you" is, and the title "you" is a bit overused. That's just my opinion though.
I hope you find this review helpful! Remember, everything in here is just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. Loved the poem, keep writing!!
so the ''strong enough not to think (like you)'' is basically talking about overthinking about something instead of the ''you'' being worry free or spontaneous? i hope that makes sense. and yeah, i'm not the best at titles and have been trying to find a better one XD thank you for the review!
Ohhh I get it now! And no problem
hey! greetings clancy.
the poem sounds emotional. i really didn't got the meaning of the lines:
"strong enough not to think (like you)
strong enough not to feel (like you)"
but what i got is that you want that person to come back and you strongly long for them.
the following lines really appealed to me. they sound amazing .
"but as the winter drips from my lungs,
and the metal cracks from the cold,"
all in one, its a nice one. i loved reading it.
keep writing.
__chitz__