this had been her cry
this had been her plea
desperately she called for authenticity
frantically she asked to be understood
overcast night skies suffocated her
and the huge empty black ate away her strength
as the nights past
her cries and pleas went unheard
her spirit began to drown in the barren land
where only ghosts dwelled in the dwindling light
and as she sank down into the darkness of her own mind
no hand reached out
no voice called her back
no light broke the darkness
and as she fell
even her shadow cried out
begging to be known
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139,468 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
this is incredible
favorite lines are the last two, as well as the third one, "desperately she called for authenticity." I love the level of truth in your writing, it's like you're not just writing to write, but you're writing to tell people something and to express your own truths. Very refreshing, there's no fluff or fakeness to it. never stop writing~
Wow! This was an absolutely amazing read! It's extremely poetic and I can tell that you gave careful attention to your word choice as well.
Your poem flows well; although, in the beginning you started with a steady rhyming beat and then you changed it to free flow. It's perfectly fine but I found it somewhat interesting that you chose to do that. or was it a coincidence?
You could use some punctuation to make its grammar more correct. So like, add a comma or a period in there every now and then. This will also help with the over all flow of the poem. Other than that I don't really see any other issues.
Thank you for writing this! It was a definite joy to read! Keep up the good work and keep writing!
Oh my God Clancy, this is amazing. My name is Brendah, Iam here because of your poem.
First of all the title is captivative, short,precise and imbended with heavy meaning. Shadows are always black and invisible in the night. I can see the pain in that related to the poem.
Secondly your diction is very rich. I appreciate your great mind dear. The words like spirit beginning to drown in the barren land are very hearty and sad. Your choice of words evoke feelings you are really a great poet
'Even her shadow cried out begging yo be known' this sends tears to my eyes. Your poetry is lyrically perfect. You aroused emotions so well by your choice of words
Continue with that hand and mind.. Your poetry will reach for the stars.
oh my gosh thank you so much!