Sunshine

A special mention and thanks to @GengarIsBestBoy for recommending this piece of music!

This poem is a good mix between a meme and a good lesson to gamers everywhere. Especially Clash Royale players. I’ve spent a lot of time just sitting in front of my Xbox trying to pick a game that I hadn’t already gotten bored of, and with games costing so much money it’s helped me pursue other interests like art and writing more. To most people, video games need to remain a hobby instead of a full time career.

Hiya! This is Orabella, here for a quick review.

I love this so much! This is such a nice poem in general, but it also has an amazing message. It made me want to go outside the second I read it, but I unfortunately was preoccupied the first time I did. So now I'm here again, with slightly more time, hoping to review this before I forget. ^^

I like how it starts. It tells the reader in an interesting way of the setting, and I get a bit of a visual in my mind before the poem actually starts. At first, the character seems to be so excited to play this game. The line, "something I can do all day," makes me think this person doesn't usually have time to play, and this is a special privilege for them. And now they got what they want and it's beginning to be quite boring. I feel like this is a bit of a call to real life, as that's what happens all the time. You get what you want after waiting a few minutes to a few years, but it wasn't what you were expecting.

But then, the character notices the outside world, which again has a secret meaning. Sometimes in life, people will block everything else out, though one day they may finally see what's been waiting for them -- literal sunshine, or something that represents it metaphorically. And then you describe it, which makes me wish it was sunny outside. (It's kinda late and cloudy) But I still want to go out, especially at that last line, which I find very powerful.

Take this as a sign

hellooo! this is loveissourgrapes back with another review. yeah, and i'm back because i'm on a little break, but i'll be busier in the next few days. *nervous giggles* First of all, I love the rhythms of this piece. they kind of remind me of those old poems that I used to read as a kid. also, i'm sorry for the errors because I'm typing on my phone because the pc's being fixed.

Ready Player 1?

- Press Start -

*click*

***

Today’s a great day.

And I am ready to play

One of my favorite games.

Something I can do all day.

***

One hour goes by.

Then another hour flies by.

I cannot really stop time

No matter how much I try.

***

Then my eyes get sore

The game is starting to be a bore.

I can’t believe that my fav game

Now, feels like a big chore.

***

The sun peeks through my

Window, as birds fly by

What would it be like

If I try to go outside?

I went out fast

Cause I wanna touch some grass.

Warm air caresses my cheeks,

And I feel content at last.

***

With joy I run around

My voice makes a happy sound

My body feels so alive.

Bare feet touching the ground.

***

I love sunshine,

And nature cuz it’s so fine.

You should go out too!

Take this as a sign.

Hey there,

I think this poem really describes the way of how it is when you are playing a video game and most of the time you dont even know how much time has passed and then its night already.

I enjoy the fact that you placed the ~ clicking~ and the ~ ready player one~ in there. I think it makes it a whole lot interesting and it makes it more realistic. As if the reader can place his or herself in your poem and experience it all.

The last stanza is my favourite, because it tells you to take this as a sign and not to forget the real world around you. <If I got that wrong, pls correct me. But that is how I felt when I read your poem >

Overall, I think you did a great job. I honestly have the feeling that you wrote this poem out of experience and it hits different that a fiction one. I think the cover you created is very fitting with your poem and it gives a nice hint of happiness in there. You are doing an amazing job, keep up the awesome work!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha