Twinkle of the Lights

Preface: As with my poem "Reverie", I highly recommend you listening to the titular piece "Twinkle of the Lights" by Johannes Bornlöf while reading this poem. I promise and hope it will not disappoint.

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Lanterns float to the sky

Vanishing to a twinkle in my eye.

A warm feeling gushes over

As people cheered louder.

It was a festival of lights.

Everyone’s smile was bright,

We cheered with all our might,

And it was a glorious sight.

My happiness made me unaware

That I’ve floated way up there.

My feet weren’t touching the ground

The festival was nowhere to be found.

It was like my body was impaired.

Never have I ever felt so scared

But never have I ever felt so free

Alone in the black sparkling sea.

The stars shone at me, bright

With their twinkling light.

Their joy made me at ease

And the silence was itself peace.

I swam through the night sky

Just like how birds fly.

I felt an emotion I never had,

Wonder, awe, deeply glad.

Behold! I saw a boat sway

Formed from the moon’s rays.

I let the gentle wind carry me there,

Then let the boat bring me elsewhere.

Stars glowed in unison

Forming a ribbon

Of lights twinkling

And joyfully singing.

Can I stay here forever?

I felt as light as a feather,

My worries are gone

All I will do is have fun.

A small star whispered

A couple of words

That I shall ne’er forget

As it made me reflect.

“Be like a star

Aim for the high and far.

To lead others to the skies

And be a sight for weary eyes."

"If you’ve done your job well,

Then here’s a secret I’ll tell.

You’ll burn bright like a star

A legacy living long and far.”

In a blink of an eye,

They all said goodbye.

The twinkle of the lights

Vanished and took flight.

I lay on the ground

Completely devoid of sound

And the cheers of the crowd

That was once loud.

Admiring the stars,

I thought real hard

How to be bright and far

Like a star.

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Points: 15247
Reviews: 116

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Sat Jul 01, 2023 8:22 pm

LuminescentAnt wrote a review...

Hi, quick review for this poem!
This was a beautiful poem, it truly captures the emotion felt when gazing at the beutiful night sky. I would listen to the music, but I don't have my headphones with me. Maybe later when I do, I will listen to it.
I'm gonna start by commenting on my favorite lines from this poem,

It was like my body was impaired.
Never have I ever felt so scared
But never have I ever felt so free
Alone in the black sparkling sea.

I liked this stanza because I know what it feels like to be flying: Terrifying but amazing and refreshing at the same time. I like how you described the sky as a black sparkling sea. If it were me, I would add the word "endless" but that's just me.

Their joy made me at ease
And the silence was itself peace.

It's kind of weird how silence can be peaceful, but it really is. I feel like I can hear this in my head, the silence from looking at the stars. Is that weird?

Stars glowed in unison
Forming a ribbon
Of lights twinkling
And joyfully singing.

Is the ribbon meant to mean a constellation? I'm not very good at inferring. I like this stanza though, because it describes how the twinkling stars glow together so well.

Can I stay here forever?
I felt as light as a feather,
My worries are gone
All I will do is have fun.

I like how you described the stars as so beautiful that the narrator didn't want to leave. It feels as if the stars are a dreamy and wonderful place.

That I shall ne’er forget
As it made me reflect.

I'm not sure why you put "ne'er" instead of "never," but I'm also not sure in general why someone would use it, so if it seems fitting, just keep it.

“Be like a star
Aim for the high and far.
To lead others to the skies
And be a sight for weary eyes."

I like this stanza also, because the narrator wants to be like a star, and wants to shine brightly in the sky. Not sure why "far" is a positive trait in this situation.

I lay on the ground
Completely devoid of sound
And the cheers of the crowd
That was once loud.

This shows that the narrator was in such a trance from seeing the stars that they couldn't hear any sounds. Again, decribed really well!

I thought real hard
How to be bright and far
Like a star.

[/quote][/quote]
A great wrap up to this poem, although I'm again unsure why you used the word "far," but that's just me.
Overall, it's a very beautiful poem, a great reminder on how beautiful stars are. Happy writing!

This review is brought to you by

alpacaboss says...

Thanks for your review! I was a klutz to forget hitting reply HAHAHA sorry

I'm glad you liked the poem and you were able to actually "feel" and "imagine" some parts

have a great day/night!

Points: 15119
Reviews: 221

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Fri Jun 30, 2023 8:47 am

AkuRashomon says...

Hi there! This is loveissourgrapes and I am not here to review this poem. I am here to say that I love it when you make poems like this and Reverie. Good job on that! Plus they have really nice cover arts. I love all the poems in the related items. That's all. Have a wonderful day/night @alpacaboss c:

alpacaboss says...

Thanks for dropping by! I love interpreting music and I'm glad that someone appreciates my interpretations of the pieces.

Have a wonderful day/night!

AkuRashomon says...

You're welcome!

Points: 23158
Reviews: 211

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Thu Jun 29, 2023 8:51 pm

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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hello! This is a random weirdo here with a review.

This is beautiful! I love the description, I love the message, I love the poem. Everything in this is superb!

Anyway, on with the review!

Lanterns float to the sky

Vanishing to a twinkle in my eye.

A warm feeling gushes over

As people cheered louder.

This is a great beginning, and it sets the scene perfectly. It kinda makes me think of Tangled as Rapunzel finally sees the lanterns.

It was a festival of lights.

Everyone’s smile was bright,

We cheered with all our might,

And it was a glorious sight.

"Festival" makes me think of a very happy occasion, and the rest of the verse reflects that wonderfully.

My happiness made me unaware

That I’ve floated way up there.

My feet weren’t touching the ground

The festival was nowhere to be found.

Uh oh. This turns into an eerie feeling rather than a joyous one. The transition between the two is flawless, and the magical element adds a bit of dread. It makes you wonder why you started floating away.

It was like my body was impaired.

Never have I ever felt so scared

But never have I ever felt so free

Alone in the black sparkling sea.

And this transitions into another feeling. Not dread or happiness, but I guess thrill. Both fear and freedom.

The stars shone at me, bright

With their twinkling light.

Their joy made me at ease

And the silence was itself peace.

Again, a new feeling, and this verse states it quite plainly: peace.

I swam through the night sky

Just like how birds fly.

I felt an emotion I never had,

Wonder, awe, deeply glad.

New feeling! And the third line stands out to me: an emotion you never had? This can tell you quite a bit about the character. Perhaps they always had to struggle, and could never really find a moment to, you know, enjoy the moment.

Behold! I saw a boat sway

Formed from the moon’s rays.

I let the gentle wind carry me there,

Then let the boat bring me elsewhere.

And this continues to give me a feeling of peace. I wonder who's boat it is and why it's on the sea alone? Eh it doesn't matter it's a poem you don't have to explain stuff.

Stars glowed in unison

Forming a ribbon

Of lights twinkling

And joyfully singing.

This is just beautiful. More peace and more joy.

Can I stay here forever?

I felt as light as a feather,

My worries are gone

All I will do is have fun.

This kinda reminds me of a dream. Who hasn't, at least once in their life, wanted this? Sometimes dreams are peaceful, and you never want to leave. And it adds a deeper layer that this probably won't last forever, which makes it much more impactful.

A small star whispered

A couple of words

That I shall ne’er forget

As it made me reflect.

Hmm. Maybe a bit of guilt? Reflecting makes it seem like they did something they regret.

“Be like a star

Aim for the high and far.

To lead others to the skies

And be a sight for weary eyes."

I assume the star is talking? I like the way it's worded, and the message the star is trying to give is a good one.

"If you’ve done your job well,

Then here’s a secret I’ll tell.

You’ll burn bright like a star

A legacy living long and far.”

This is kinda like a different take on kindness. Be kind to others and they'll be kind to you. This is a very creative way of showing a good moral, and the way it'll benefit you if you follow it.

In a blink of an eye,

They all said goodbye.

The twinkle of the lights

Vanished and took flight.

And now... they're gone? Aww, I knew it was gonna end. Now the character is alone.

I lay on the ground

Completely devoid of sound

And the cheers of the crowd

That was once loud.

The feeling is kinda... numb. Everything's gone, even sound and sight.

Admiring the stars,

I thought real hard

How to bright and far

Like a star.

I love that last line. It ends it so perfectly! And obviously this connects with what the star said, and it's nice the way the character is thinking about it. It matters to them a lot.

Overall, this was amazing! I love the different emotions and the description, it's breathtaking.

Have a great day/night/afternoon/morning/evening!

alpacaboss says...

Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you liked the poem. This really helps a lot

OrabellaAvenue says...

Of course! Any time.

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Twinkle of the Lights

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