Young Writers Society

Hey Alliyah! It's been years since I've reviewed poetry, so I might be a bit rusty, but I'll give it a go.

I clicked on this and, honestly, was quite worried it would be sappy and meaningless. But when I saw it was written by you, that fear faded, and upon reading the poem, it was utterly shattered.
First off, I very much enjoyed the poem, it flowed very well, and its internal style was charming and fun to read. The use of a dictionary-style was compelling, but also even more fun when it seemed humans were being defined by an outside source that does not perfectly know us (like some kind-hearted extra-terrestrial). In some ways, the narrator's lack of knowledge more perfectly captures the human experience of ideas as big as love, faith, and ghosts, better than a human confidently defining these terms ever could.
Lines like [we have observed some speaking to ghosts] and [has yet to be clearly defined, have something to do with stars] show that outside looking in perspective, which so perfectly highlights the sparkling mystery of human existence that a modern materialistic, scientific perspective has mostly destroyed in the mind of the public. Scientists can try to define these terms (love is the evolutionary tribe emotion to protect one's kin, propagated by chemicals in the brain) but in doing so, capture very little of the actual sense of the idea, and also, (I believe) make claims that are too confident, leaving out the paradox of human consciousness science has yet to answer.
This poem does an excellent job of returning the human experience to the realm of gods, goblins, and ghosts.
Faith, I think, is an excellent place to start on that journey, so counter to the cold hard logic of much of modern society.
I think Ghosts are an excellent place to go from there. It reminds me of CS Lewis using the existence of belief in ghosts as evidence for religion. It is such a strange phenomenon that we mortal material automata are obsessed with immaterial, immortal agents of ghosts that it makes you wonder if we are not material, mortal automata.
The representation of stars is one of my favorite things in all of art, and I'm so glad to see it here. You once again use it to ride the line between extremely literal and extremely metaphorical to make that magical feeling all the more powerful. I love that you do not define stars as balls of gases collapsing and doing nuclear fusion because (though that is an extremely interesting and true definition) definitions like that once again forget the glimmering reality of human experience.
Point 3 is one of the best lines in the poem and could be a whole poem unto itself. Once again, highlighting the paradoxical nature of humanity.
[Remarkably, very few "humans" Seem to be concerned with what they are, but they do have an answer for every query posed so far.]
This is the only section of the poem that confused me. Are you saying that most people don't ask the existential questions but have an answer for all the other questions throughout history? (questions in science, politics, mathematics, and philosophy) Or are you saying that we know what we are but don't seem to care, despite having answered all the questions posed so far in this poem?
Or is it some third alternative? Both are interesting, but it would be nice if, in the phrase, you somehow clarified what you meant for idiots like me.
Ending with Love, and how there is no good definition for it, is an excellent choice. Love is one of those ideas that resists definition in many ways, but the rest you have done with this poem helps us get closer. In many ways, love is the central feature of humanity, so to leave it undefined leaves us undefined, which I think was your intention.
My only critique would be the name. It does not fit the style of the poem. I would have preferred something like "Humans, a definition," but that's just my two cents.
Anyhoo, I found this beautiful and fascinating. I hope my review is helpful or at the very least, interesting.
Thanks,
Andrew

Alliyah omg. I love this so much.

I will say that I prefer the text version vs. the web version you posted, but that's partly because I often find concrete/visual poetry more distracting than helpful (though obviously that varies wildly). I do think the definition format of this lends itself better to the text/dictionary-looking layout, because it uses a format that we've all seen (or teach/have been taught) for cross reference and how circular it is when it's done well (hai librarian problems), but it also plays nicely with the whole idea that your narrator is something other than human by using such a human construct of logic to juxtapose how alien humans are to your narrator.

Anyway. Second line from the end is the most accurately human thing I have ever read.



(also the memes as to why humans are the scourge of the universe and all the aliens are afraid of us is basically my favorite thing)

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

As I was reading this, I envisioned that these were the notes of an alien studying human behavior. This is especially developed in the way everything feels objective, like the things being said aren’t opinions but facts.

faith - an essential element of the human-condition. a decidedly irrational tendency to believe what cannot be seen

This is a very unique poem and I'm in love with it.

Everything seems so orderly, harmonic and balanced. You give an insight to your own beliefs, your own views by being "objective". Deifining multiple words rated to humans, which are not often associated with them is really good.
Your poem smells of nostalgia and hope, especially with the last line. I don't know why it struck me so much. It fits so much into the whole poem... perhaps it is because we have to figure out ourselves?
The poem accumulates its own knowledge which in turns creates its pwn beauty. I loved the ghosts definition, it is so obscure yet so speaking.
Bleh this review is just a rambling, I love your poem.