He loves my eyes, that’s what he says,
In them, he sees an endless sea,
A shade of blue that takes his breath away,
And fills his heart with pure ecstasy.
He says they sparkle like polished gems,
Reflecting the sun's rays on a summer day,
And when they look into his own,
He feels as if he's found his way.
He loves to get lost in their depths,
For they hold a mystery that draws him in,
A depth and passion that he can't resist,
With every glance, his heart begins to spin.
He says they remind him of a calm ocean,
With waves that gently ebb and flow,
And just like the sea, his love for them,
Will forever grow and grow.
He says they're like two pools of sapphire,
That hold the secrets of the deep,
And in their reflection, he sees a future,
One that's filled with love, not just a fleeting leap.
He loves my eyes, he whispers,
Like a sweet lullaby in the night,
And in their presence, he feels so free,
As if he's basking in their enchanting light.
He says they're like a bolt of lightning,
That strikes him with a sudden jolt,
And just like thunder, his heart starts beating,
At the sight of them, his love takes hold.
He says they make him feel alive,
With every glance, they light a fire,
And though he knows they're just a color,
To him, they represent his every desire.
***
Dear blue eyes,
He doesn't want me.
He wants the version of me,
That is in his fantasy.
From yours truly, brown eyes.
( this review was not written by me, it was written by my friend )
Your poem is an interesting exploration of the complexities and contradictions of love and desire. The imagery you use is vivid and striking. The title implies a sense of longing and unfulfilled desire, while the first few lines paint a picture of a passionate and intense love. As the poem progresses, there's a shift in tone, as the narrator seems to recognize that the "love" she is receiving is not genuine. Instead, it's more like a fantasy or an idealized projection. The final line reinforces this, as the narrator acknowledges that she is not the blue-eyed counterpart her lover desires.
Girl you ate down with this. All the romantic words, the way it flows is amazinggg! And then the way this:
" And though he knows they're just a color,
To him, they represent his every desire."
Contrasts with this:
"He wants the version of me,
That is in his fantasy."
As a brown-eyed girl I was heartbroken, and I'm not even the narrator. Once again I am in love~! You did so good!
Aw thank you Monii!! I'm so glad you liked it! - <3
MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:
Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret
I love how this line sounds and how great at description you are <3 This line really stood out to me, it is so pretty!
I am really impressed with your rhymes as well. I found that this poem flowed well. Your poetry is beautiful, really!
This is overall very romantic and full of love. The metaphor of blue eyes and brown eyes was great
Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement
I would love for you to expand on the ending a bit more. It was unclear to me if it was a complete lie, like she didn't actually have blue eyes. Or, if that was more symbolic of her feeling like her eyes didn't really define her. I'd love to hear more, and maybe a poem from his POV! That would be cool
Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises
such a pretty line full of pretty words
I love this twist at the end! I love how we transition from this boy being in love with something, knowing they don't really matter, but having them represent so much to him- then we see that this is all a fantasy. I feel like this can apply to so much in our world- education, religion, or any sort of strong political opinion.
Overall, awesome job!
Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts
Love your poetry and writing always!
Your friend,
Ellie
I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!
Hiya!
Im not good at reviewing poetry so I'll leave you a lil comment instead.
I loved all the imagery you put into this! All the descriptions and things he compares the eyes to. Wow! That was so beautiful!!
And then...what is this about her actually having brown eyes?? Ohhhh....that was such a a perfect plot twist!! But now I have to question: does she wear eye contacts? Or is this the situation that she has a crush on him, but she knows that he will never love her because she doesn't look like the woman of his dreams?
Either way, I loved that end part!
-Kaia
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Kaia! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the imagery and the unexpected twist in my poem. (I was hoping the end would sit well haha) As for your question, it's sadly the latter. She knows he won't ever love her because she doesn't fit his standard. :,D Thanks again for taking the time to read and share your thoughts though, happy writing! - %uD83D%uDC98
I always have to think outside the box hehe. I figured it wasnt eye contacts but you know...have to consider everything hehe.
Blue eyes are honestly something to behold - I love the line "He says they're like a bolt of lightning," it's a brilliant simile that isn't one of the cliches usually used for describing blue eyes. But although blue eyes are some of the most celebrated features, brown eyes are an entity in their own right. The sun hits them right, and you get swirling depths of honey golden. I look into brown eyes and I see sunlight filtering through a forest canopy in Autumn. Loving someone is so much more than their eye colour, you love every part of them. I'm lucky enough to love someone like that. Brown represents the earth and soil, literally the life force that sustains everything. I hope brown eyes finds someone who loves every part of their whole being.
Absolutely beautifully put!
It's fascinating how eyes, regardless of color, can hold such depth and meaning. Brown eyes, like you described, can indeed evoke images of nature's warmth and richness. Thank you for this beautiful comment Arch!! <3<3