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ItcouldveBeenYou

by Youbeaucupid


In the meadow, soft and green,

Beneath the sky, a tranquil scene,

Among the trees, a peaceful sheen.

Through the fields, we wander far,

In search of dreams, beneath the stars,

Guided by love, like ships at spar.

***

Crossing rivers, swift and wide,

Over mountains, side by side,

In each other's hearts, we confide.

Over hills and valleys, we roam,

Underneath the vast sky's dome,

Together, finding our way home.

Upon the winds, our laughter rings,

Lingering where the nightingale sings,

In nature's embrace, our hearts take wing.

Lost in time's eternal flow,

In each other's arms, we glow,

Bound by love, we reap what we sow.

Dancing in the moon's soft glow,

Embracing moments, as they bestow,

Our love, a flame that continues to grow.

Voices whisper in the trees,

Echoes of love, carried on the breeze,

Boundless as the ocean, deep as the seas.

Every step a journey new,

With every dawn, our love renew,

Guided by stars, in skies of blue.

***

Beside the fire, we find our rest,

Wrapped in love, we are truly blessed,

In each other's arms, we are our best.

Every sunset, every dawn,

With you, my love, I am drawn,

Together, until time is gone.

Everlasting, our love will be,

Bound by fate, for eternity,

In each other's eyes, our souls set free.

Near or far, our hearts entwine,

In your love, I've found mine,

Together, our spirits align.

***

Yearning for a love so true,

In every moment, I think of you,

With each heartbeat, my love anew.

Onward we go, hand in hand,

In this journey, together we stand,

Our love, a bond that will never disband.

Until the end of time, it's true,

My love, forever, I give to you,

In this life, and the next, too.


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User avatar


Points: 33
Reviews: 3

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Mon Mar 04, 2024 6:33 pm
watercolours wrote a review...



ooooh my goodnesssss, I love how you put the title of the poem hidden within the beginning letters!
I don't have a lot of experience critiquing poetry. (and by that, I mean no experience at all) However, I would like to encourage you to write more! You clearly have a talent for the rhyme schemes and I very much like how you worded your lines. I find that some possess this strange ability to weave words along together and create a tapestry that would make even the dullest of eyes blink twice. ^^
-s.k




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Points: 88
Reviews: 4

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Thu Feb 29, 2024 4:29 pm
AftonFamily09 wrote a review...



I checked a grammer site out of boredom bc I'm in a class for two hours bc of testing and it says this is the proper way to write it:

In the meadow, soft and green,

Beneath the sky, a tranquil scene,

Among the trees, was a peaceful sheen.

Through the fields, we wander far,

In search of dreams, beneath the stars,

Guided by love, like ships at the spar.

***

Crossing rivers, swift and wide,

Over mountains, side by side,

In each other's hearts, we confide.

Over hills and valleys, we roam,

Underneath the vast sky's dome,

Together, finding our way home.

Upon the winds, our laughter rings,

Lingering where the nightingale sings,

In nature's embrace, our hearts take wing.

Lost in time's eternal flow,

In each other's arms, we glow,

Bound by love, we reap what we sow.

Dancing in the moon's soft glow,

Embracing moments, as they bestow,

Our love is a flame that continues to grow.

Voices whisper in the trees,

Echoes of love carried on the breeze,

Boundless as the ocean, deep as the seas.

Every step is a journey new,

With every dawn, our love renews,

Guided by stars, in skies of blue.

***

Beside the fire, we find our rest,

Wrapped in love, we are truly blessed,

In each other's arms, we are our best.

Every sunset, every dawn,

With you, my love, I am drawn,

Together, until time is gone.

Everlasting, our love will be,

Bound by fate, for eternity,

In each other's eyes, our souls are set free.

Near or far, our hearts entwine,

In your love, I've found mine,

Together, our spirits align.

***

Yearning for a love so true,

In every moment, I think of you,

With each heartbeat, my love anew.

Onward we go, hand in hand,

In this journey, together we stand,

Our love, is a bond that will never disband.

Until the end of time, it's true,

My love, forever, I give to you,

In this life, and the next, too.

Overall its a good piece!

Have a good day/night!




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315 Reviews

Points: 62062
Reviews: 315

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Tue Feb 27, 2024 6:58 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review your new poem using my Familiar method today! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh…

What The Black Eyes See...

This poem was quite the journey; so many incredible images, each with the central theme shining through! Your structure and rhymes were very clever and flowed so nicely all the way through. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I have no corrections or recommendations to make!

Why The Grin Widened...

Where to begin?

Firstly, the poem's structure was very clever with its hidden title, and it was executed very well. It felt like each word elaborated more and more on the theme of the poem; the stanzas creating "it" felt like a little introductory slice, "could've" gave us a variety of romantic scenes, "been" shifts slightly more to focus on the couple within those scenes, and finally "you" concludes with verses dedicated solely to their love -the end of this lovely journey you created.

In more specific terms, the rhymes not only worked very well, but they all felt very natural as I was reading them. Yet despite being easy to read, each line had powerful vocabulary that drew the reader further in.

The lines of the sky's dome, or crossing rivers and mountains, were great for creating a visual, but the light sensory notes woven within really made it all glow (this is actually something I noticed you do a great job with, in all your writing I've read so far). This one makes a good example;

Upon the winds, our laughter rings,

Lingering where the nightingale sings,

In nature's embrace, our hearts take wing.


The gentle addition of wind to those valleys and hills, the sound of laughter and a nightingale's song; ah, so beautiful! And of course, I'd like to point out that great end stanza:

Until the end of time, it's true,

My love, forever, I give to you,

In this life, and the next, too.


The sense of eternity brought on by mentioning another life was the perfect way to end this poem; an ending that doesn't feel as much like an "ending" as an "ending for now."

(I think it also spoke to me because it reminds me of this video/song by the band Blackbriar, "Until Eternity," which has a very similar theme. You know those songs that get you through your bad years? Do you have one too? lol)

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, it was a brilliant poem! Nicely done! :)

Image




Youbeaucupid says...


Thank you for the detailed review Raven! I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem, have a wonderful day/night!! <33




I am deeply disturbed by your ability to meow.
— Carina