Taint & Tainted

As the others who cam before me have already pinpointed the mistakes let me give you a review based on how I felt about your submission!

Okay so now I am dividing the review into three parts: positives, negatives and my favorite line! .

Positives:

The base of the poem was strong and lead to one particular thing which was excellent!

The poem was short but gave a clear message and that was another good thing.

You had minimum grammar and punctuation mistakes which is another good thing!

Negatives:

The formatting wasn't done correctly. So please correct that

At some places the capitalization was completely unnecessary!

My favorite lines:

"The rain in summer falls to wash away our wickedness the selfishness in the human heart and mind

The leaves in autumn change and fall

Leave the trees bare

But they give way to winter and then the snow is tainted again"

Umaima

HAve a good review day!

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day for the Rouge team!

Technical:
"and for a moment, it stays white", there should be a period at the end of this line to help with the reading flow. If you don't want a break in thought, then put a comma. But something needs to go here.

"Then it’s trampled upon, colored with the prints of our shoes

Flowers in spring will grow, and the Rose is by far the most beautiful"
More punctuation! Please, put a period at the end of these lines. If you don't want a period after "beautiful", then put a comma. But I need more punctuation to guide how to read the flow of this poem.

"After a while it is picked, watered, forgotten, then wilts away and withers to a crisp burgundy black

The rain in summer falls to wash away our wickedness the selfishness in the human heart and mind"
Pretty much the same as before. I need periods or commas, please.

"The leaves in autumn change and fall

Leave the trees bare"
You know by now that this needs punctuation. But also, the "Leave" should be "Leaves" for proper verb tense.

Final line needs a period.

Hope this help! Happy Review Day!

I thought this was quite interesting. The idea of everything beautiful being ruined by us and the almost grim way nature burns and withers everything into this burgundy black was really vivid.

The ending was good but personally I think it could be more profound. The idea that the cycle starts again is cool. But maybe be more subtle.

"But they give way to winter.

The snow in winter falls."

I think this repetition of the first line would really cement the idea of the cycle. This is all just an idea though, its your piece

And it may sound weird having winter in both lines but I think that still sounds good and is another layer of repetition added to the piece.

Hope this helps,

LMJ

I love this! I think your use of winter snow is a brilliant way to start, because freshly fallen snow is so white and pure that it seems to symbolize new birth and innocence. This is a beautifully imaged way of telling about how things change, grow, die, wither, and wilt. Like aging or losing your innocence. There's only one tiny thing I'd suggest. Put a period on the end of it. In poetry, the lack of or use of punctuation is incredibly important and can change the entire poem. I think that one little dot would give this a finality that shows you know and we (the audience) know this is a cycle that is not going to end.