Love

Hi! I guess I'm gonna review this now so... My name is CrystalPony21 and this poem caught my eye from the Literary Room. Please take these suggestions to heart!

Amazing work, fabulous choice of words, wonderful spelling and grammar, and a very heartfelt poem. This was amazing and I don't really have much to say about this work but to congratulate you on this wonderful, amazing, fabulous, breathtaking poem. The only thing I have to say is I didn't understand this part. "Love
The history of man is filled with it."
This part was confusing to me because the way you worded it was strange. I don't know if it's just me but I couldn't understand the meaning of this quote no matter how hard I tried. Well that's really all! Keep writing, I hope you enjoy it... I know I do!

~CrystalPony21

Ah, finally I can read a new poem by the Famous Vivian. I don't feel I need to introduce myself to you. But anyway, I am thrilled to go on to the review, so here I go. Or, by the way, shall I call you Paradox?

I wont nick pick the fact that your stanzas are not separated, because I seem to be having the same problem. What I don't exactly like, call it my OCD, is the fact that the middle stanza is so huge, yet the first and last are smaller, the last being one line (minus the Love). I think you could balance this out a little better. The first stanza confuses me. I liked the concept of Love before every stanza, and I loved the first line to your poem, but it confused me when you repeated sword twice. I feel like you could use a substitute word for the second "sword" in that poem.

Another thing, is the repetition of "it" . I see "it" 5 times in this poem. I know its hard, repetition in my poetry (and the occasional short story) is something I struggle with. Try using a replacement word.

But, on the bright and awesome side of things, I love this poem. It suits Love in a way that some people can not explain and understand. So basically speaking, I love this poem, and with a little bit of fixing up, this poem will be perfection. I praise this poem, and it definitely deserves a like, so a like is what I am going to give it. If only it had a "Love" option!

~Sincerely
SecreteJournalist
AKA
Brie

This is really good paradox. it captures love very well, and the way you describe it is very nice.

It’s a double edged sword,

can drive a man to death with more pain then a sword.
I think you should work on that rhyming part right there. Having the same word twice for a rhyme really doesn't fit well at all. Besides that i didn't notice anything wrong.
Keep it up!

omg. this is amazing. great job. the poem made me want to cry but it also cheered me up at the same time. i love everything about it. i sware to god i dont have one bad thing to say about it. i just love it. i dont even know why. wow. im am speachless. i just love how the first stanza is dark and warning about love but the second one is saying we cant live without it. its so true. the poem is so from the heart. what inspiered this? it feels like a breakup inspiered it. is that true? god i would love to write like this. are you going to enter it in a compition or try and get it published because you totaly should. just omg wow. great job. i cant wait to read some of your other stuff. just keep writing like this. wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry about the spelling by the way.
from alilovessandy
wow