Today I spotted a dwarf.
Only hips and legs
and it called over with a wet foot.
It had no upper half
it's lower half bleeding with life.
Nor did it have a head though,
it said,
"I am Sealand."
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140,561 Literary Works • 673,435 Reviews
Hi Yams, Felistia here with a quick review for you on this wonderful day.
Okay so I looked up Sealand and I can see what you where trying to say and really I think you pulled it off well. I just don't think that a lot of people know what Sealand is (I didn't). I think that maybe placing a picture after the poem would help clear up some things.
I think that maybe you should expand a bit between the line (Nor did it have a head though,) and (it said,)
Or you could say (and yet it said) instead of (it said).
I hope this helps.
Quick question. Did you decide to writing that after reading my poem The Giant.
Overall this was a good poem once I figured out what you were trying to say and I look forward to more of your work. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
Your friend, Felistia.
I did do it after The Giant XD
This didn't really work out.
The Giant.
Okay. So this poem of yours has really confused me. So you spot a dwarf but then what you just described the way it looked. I mean it would have been better If you would have described your reaction on spotting it your enthusiasm on seeing an actual dwarf would be much more fun than just reading about its looks.
And what does "and it called over with a wet foot." mean. I like your fantacy but I guess that you should have made it a tad bit longer.
I'm not saying that your poem is not good,it's just that I would have appreciated it more if you explained it more.
Never quit writing
Fangirl~
Hello Yams! CHRISSY321 here to drop by with a quick review!
This is a very interesting poem! It is very different then what I expected! There were no spelling errors and things that that so you are good there.
One thing is that this poem greatly confused me, especially here:
Here I have no idea what is being described! I think that this is an area of this poem where you can change it a lot, or just into a cooler, easier line to understand! It is okay if you want to keep it though because it is your poem, so no worries if you want to keep it
Overall I think that you did a pretty god job! I just want to suggest you take another look at it, and see how it flows. Tweak it from there!
~Chrissy <3