Torn

Hi Vibe!
Okay, first off, really good poem! It was nice, meaningful and left an impression on the reader.
I noticed you haven't used any punctuation. Was this intentional? Normally, one adds a comma before quotes, but maybe this is just your poetry style.

"T'was her who was shouting
"Freedom! Let me understand who I am!"
With an ink and a pen she's shouting
On that paper she was shouting"

Found a small nitpick here...the entire poem is in past tense, except for the 3rd line. You could change it to-
"With an ink and a pen she was shouting,"


"Everybody else was leaving her..."
The previous lines are in past perfect tense, and then this one is in past continuous. What about-

"Everybody else left her..."

That's about it, it was a really, really good poem otherwise! I enjoyed reading and reviewing it!

Hi!

I really enjoyed your poem! I am not quite sure why the title in torn though...

T'was there in a room
T'was her who was shouting
(I am not sure how I feel about the word T'was starting both of these stanzas. I don't think it fits your poem quite right.)

With an ink and a pen she's shouting
On that paper she was shouting
(When adding she was shouting in both of these lines it sounds redundant.)

heart beating
totally broken...
dying
(I think this was a fantastic way to end this poem. It leaves the reader with a feeling of despair and giving up.)

Thanks for such a great read! Keep up the great work!
xoxo
Rascalover

Again, I just reviewed another poem by you, this is really good; dramatic -as writing should be. I said in my other review of your work, about the capital letter thing (read if you haven't yet) this is just about the only thing I can find wrong with this poem; apart from the fact that you maybe needed a comma at the end of each line -again a personal preference.
This is also a very political and feminist poem, which adds to the dramatic effect of the poem, which I mentioned before.
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