Sisters and Phones

by Tuesday

Published June 3, 2015

E - Everyone

In Stories and Such

“Could you turn down the air, please?” Mollie asked, leaning forward. Her sister shrugged, without looking up from her phone. Mollie groaned, reaching forward turning the air down before sitting down with a sigh. They were sent to the car to wait for their mother, who was inside trying to persuade the store manager on the discount she had earned. It was boring for both Mollie and her sister, trying to find something to do but only to get cards and old newspapers that adults would look at. Mollie had tried to play a game of guess what I am thinking, but her sister just shrugged her eyes glued to her phone.

The clouds were covering the sun, shading outside while Mollie sighed. She was getting bored within the minutes and her sister was on her phone. Her mother had promise Mollie a phone when her birthday came and when her birthday did come, her mother gave the excuse that she has no money when clearly her mother had spent hundreds on her sister, Sammy. It has irked Mollie, being the youngest sibling and not getting attention but Mollie wasn’t exactly jealous but wanted everyone to know she was there and she knew that wasn’t going to be an easy wish.

Sammy groaned, setting her phone down. She looked out the window, her chin in her hand while Mollie raised an eyebrow at the new discovery of her sister.

“What’s wrong, Sammy?”

“Nothing.”

“But you put down your phone. When you put down your phone, something bond to be wrong,” Mollie said before leaning forward. “So what’s wrong?”

Sammy took a deep breath before sighing.

“Nothing is wrong, Mollie. I just need a break from my phone.”

“You just realized this?”

“Mollie.”

“What? At least you now know how I feel.”

Sammy turned to face Mollie. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, Sammy, that you finally understand how I feel.”

“I am still confused.”

“You are always confused.” Mollie stated as she leaned back in the seat. “This is the first time we talked.”

“Whatever.” Sammy looked out the window, in her mind words she has wished to say to Mollie. She sighed, looked over to where her phone was supposed to be at but only found an old hairband and hand sanitizer. She gasped, patting her pockets before looking at Mollie. She saw Mollie swiping left at pictures on her phone, giggling at the pictures and looked up at Sammy.

“Oh what pictures you have on here.”

“Mollie, can I please have my phone?”

“These pictures would be great to show mom. Would be a shame if I did it,” Mollie smiled, sliding the phone into her pocket.

“That is my phone, not yours.”

“Yea, but we are sisters so technically we share this phone and mom would agree.”

“How would mom agree?”

Mollie looked at Sammy with a content smile. “If only you knew.”

“Knew what?”

Mollie snickered, looking out the window before seeing their mom. “Look, there is mom.”

“Mollie don’t you dare,” Sammy warned while their mother made it into the car.

“Sorry about that, kiddos,” their mother said, as she bucketed up and looked at Sammy and Mollie. “How was your time together? Did you play any games?”

“She took my phone.”

Their mother sighed, pulling out of the parking lot. “You two never get along.”

Mollie giggles as she pulled out Sammy’s phone. “Not until now.”    

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
anniegirl123
Review
anniegirl123 wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2015

Sammy does seem like the perfect stereotype of what adults think teenagers are. Always on their phones no matter what... I like how realistic this felt, with Mollie never getting as much as Sammy because she is younger than her. Also how Sammy actually is sorry for always seeming mean but just can't say it. Good story, I really liked it. :)

User avatar
Snoops
Review
Snoops wrote a review Review · Jun 3, 2015

I know that feeling, my sister does the same to me. She drives me crazy! I love her...but she drives me crazy! Shes always trying to blackmail me in buying her stuff. Dam, that girl loges cookies...anyway of subject. I liked this a lot. Very relateble, everyone jas an anooying brother/sister/cousin/newphew...and so fort.
Great stuff.

User avatar
Snowfire
Review
Snowfire wrote a review Review · Jun 3, 2015

It's nice. There are a few grammatical errors although, it's not overwhelming yet hard to understand. Is there supposed to be some kind of moral or turning point to this story? If there is, as a reader I missed it. what am I supposed to leave with when I'm done reading?

I've seen the idea of two siblings not getting along and then one somehow manipulating the other before. I don't see what is so different about this one. The younger sister, Mollie, is said to have been "irked" did that change? She doesn't show that.

Try digging into that more. Describe to the reader what Mollie is thinking when she takes her sister's phone and what she might think the outcome of doing so will be.

Also, I think Sammy was showing empathy after realizing how she made her sister feel. If that's true or not it was hard to say. A little more detail about the characters' appearance and/or location would be great. Those tiny elements really add up. Besides that, good start. You can make it better :)



Always do what you are afraid to do.
— E. Lockhart, We Were Liars