The silence is so soft, a smooth surface in the air around me. Nothing to break it, nothing to crack and warp the gentleness. Nothing except my tears, that is. I cry my heart out, cry myself to the point where all else else fades away.
Why do I cry? Why do I feel such sorrow? Why am I shattered like this, rendered unable to function?
Ask him. Ask her. Ask them both. As the Ghost of Happiness Lost, who shadows me, dances with her sadistic glee, I cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry.
"Everything was so perfect before you came along!" I shout to her. But she's not there to hear, not there to see the living death she has caused me.
"How could you?" I scream to him. But he's not there to hear, not there to see the suffering he has inflicted apon me.
"Why?" I keep asking myself. "What was it about her? Is it because she's beautiful? Or is it because she's a diva? Is it because she pretends to be frail and helpless in order to take advantage of you? Or is it because you didn't really care about me? You never had any intention of staying in touch with me. You never wanted me at all, I was just someone you kept because there was no one else!" I continue to rant, getting more and more upset until by the end of it I'm screaming and beating the wall with my clenched fists.
I sink down to the ground, all my energy suddenly drained.
I keep crying. Crying. Crying.
Until I fall asleep.
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140,206 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Another amazing story by Toboldygo! I must say though, I'm quite curios as to what inspired this short story.
It was pretty simple, actually. Flip a coin. Heads, you write about something happy. Tails, you write about something sad. I got tails.
This is simply beautiful! It contains amazing descriptions and great emotional language. It is also something people in reality can also relate to. There is also a fabulous use of rytorically questions, though I think I like this line the best, "As the Ghost of Happiness Lost, who shadows me, dancing with her sadistic glee, I cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry."
Overall, It was a good narrative. Some spelling errors, and accidental repeats of words. It has good emotion, something I can definitely relate to. I think it flows nicely, but it could use a little work. I really like your words choice, "...dancing with her sadistic glee." Perfect. Keep writing, you do have talent, and so much emotion.
I loved the passion and emotions swirling around this very story. It made me feel the same anger of the little child without parents. It is common people either lose their parents or have absent parents but either way it is infuriating to know that your parents would choose someone over you.The story opened with a kid surrounded by silence so he was neglected by both parents. Which gave the story a sorrowful tone.