The Heartbreak Kid

by TheDarkWriter

Published October 27, 2015

12+

In Narrative Poetry

PreviousNext

Growing up was hard, the fear of judgment consumed her.

For years she hid behind the world in darkness all alone,

Only to hear her own voice echoing the walls.

An unloved child, a lonely soul, afraid and lost she couldn’t bare it anymore.

She started to break, a million tears falling from her face,

Blood drips from her wrists and her body starts to shake,

Emotion overwhelms her that she couldn’t take,

She drops to the ground cold and broken, hurt to point of death.

Closed eyes, fading into oblivion.

Then she woke up to the sound of sirens, screaming in her ears.

Unable to speak, strapped down on a white metal bed,

Voices whispering barely making a noise, the sound of doors closing in.

And just like that she went back into her painful sleep.

When she re- wakened, everything was blurring and the numbness of her bones crippled her, unable to move.

And no clear vision she wondered where she was.

2 hours later a voice came in the room saying her name but to her it was more like a ringing bell, silent and soft.

Then she knew exactly where she was,

A mental institution,

A place where the lost and broken-hearted end up,

A place where there’s no escape...

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
postmalone
Review
postmalone wrote a review Review · Aug 3, 2016

My mouth went dry. My fingers don't know what to say. I *long pause actually* is there a camera recording me and my feelings? Everything I've been through? Everything that's full of sadness and anger and regret?

The heartbreak kid sure lives a life exactly like me. I haven't ended in a mental institution yet but I know I'm headed for one. I can't...begin to even...comprehend how this shattered me all over again. Seeing my life being put in writing by another who may be going through the same things. My eyes just reading the last three lines as I type, fermenting it in my mind and engraving it on my skull.

I've got to go to dinner I'm so sorry but as soon as I can I'll finish this long review.

Back again after some family games. But wow. I'm so following you. This is incredible. I can't seem to tell you enough how this piece stole my heart because I'm going through very similar, if not identical, issues. Is this based on your life? Is this a story of someone you know? Or just fiction?

I can't believe you could write such , a mind-bending, heart-shattering, mysterious, depressing, true, amazing, loss-of-words piece. And I thank you for posting this. Thank you, Dark. I appreciate how you shared something that could be personal.

Satisfactory reader is satisfied. Kinda brings tears to my eye, ya know? Nothing negative about this piece. I can't even..wow

Oh wow now I'm interested to know more about you, I just read your profile and about the things you have been through, I can sure relate to all of it. If you ever need someone to talk too I'm here, send me a message anytime you want, I'll love to get to know you more. Hope your all good %uD83D%uDE0A

thank you. Was this actually based off of you, or is this just created out of the blue?

Yes unfortunately it was, but not the mental institution bit. I have clinical depression and major anxiety so it's been a hard life for me but thanks for your review it means alot when someone can relate to my writing

social anxiety & panic attacks turn me into an introvert. I'm so sorry I wish I could help you

User avatar
felistia
Review
felistia wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2015

Hi Felistia here with a short review.

This is a very haunting poem riding on an interesting story. It works very well and the descriptions are good, but the best thing about it was the emotion. I don't know what I would change about this. I can only say that is perfect and well done. I hope you have a good day/night.

User avatar
Konijn
Review
Konijn wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2015

Hello! Tigerlilly here to review!

As odd as it sounds, I feel like I can relate to this piece. Now you dont have to send me concerned PM's or anything, because I am perfectly fine now, but I have had issues in the past. Point is, this poem is relatable, and that's a good thing.

I like how its narrative and doesn't focus on rhyme or anything. It helps to see the raw side of things, not get caught up in the rhythm of the poem. I loved the imagery used in it and the vocabulary. It had a good beginning, immediately grasping the readers attention, and a strong end, leaving me with an insane swirl of emotions. Honestly, there just isn't much to nitpick in this poem. I love the way its written.

Overall, this was a very beautiful and dark poem that I love. Its very true and relatable and well written. Well done, and have a nice day!

Thanks so much!

User avatar
GhostHunter Comment
GhostHunter commented Comment · Oct 28, 2015

Hello,

I'm really bad at reviews so here it goes:

I really like this poem it's dark and I like how you grab the reader's attention straight away.
Every line flows with another and the layout is incredible and yeah I really like this. Keep up the good work!

User avatar
PunkZebra Comment
PunkZebra commented Comment · Oct 28, 2015

This made me cry!!!!!.

I love this it's so relatable and descriptive, I loved how you used the language in your poem :)

I'm speechless!, Keep up the wonderful writing :)



You never really know how much of you takes residence in other people... We all exchange bits and pieces of ourselves with each other until we're big sparkly collages of everyone and everything we've ever loved
— GengarTheGhost