Branded and Scarred (Chapter One: Revised)

by TheClosetKidnapper

Published March 23, 2012

In Novel 3

The sky above crackles, thunder shattering the vapor into rain. With each strike of the blue-white light, my body tingles and sends pleasant shivers down the length of my spine. The others don't seem to be as satisfied with the weather though; we stand together in the rain, our hair and clothes soaking wet.


"Ronan, stop the freaking storm." Chandler, the fireborn veteran, turns to me.


His matted hair, the color of toffee, hangs over his bright auburn eyes.


"I don't do rain, sorry." I smile, looking up at the sky and closing my eyes to feel the next strike.


"Then what the hell is going on? Every storm has it's Voltage."


I shrug and chuckle obnoxiously when the light cuts across the clouds.


"W-we should to f-find somewhere t-to s-stay the n-night." Grace, our stuttering little windstorm in a bottle shivers.


I open my eyes and find her cradling her torso as if afraid her contents would spill open like a piggy bank if she let go. Her gray eyes lock with mine, searching deep within me for the off-switch to the rain.


"Yeah, we should." The water-controlling Tait agrees with her, puppy-eyed.


He's fine with the storm though, absorbing the power it gives off just as I am, and is just trying to woo Grace.


"Then let's go." Chandler grumbles, taking the lead.

"A little rain isn't going to kill you, Chan." Kelsey, the earthshaking queen, follows closely behind with a smile that makes her tone slightly sarcastic.


"Don't even start." He threatens. "Just because my fuse is wet doesn't mean that I can't throw a few sparks."

Kelsey just shakes her head at him, crossing her arms across her chest.


We wander around town in search of a haven, but find nothing more than a mere alleyway. Underneath a creaky old fire escape, the pavement is dry and four of us could fit tightly, Tait would have to give his spot up for Kelsey. I'm sure the flirt wouldn't mind.


Chandler takes the far edge and Kelsey sits at his side, Grace at her's. I take one last bolt of lightening before plopping beside her. She pulls her knees to her chest and glances at me, a strange blush in her cheeks. Her lips part to say something when Tait sits at my right. She looks down and swallows instead.


I slip my jacket off, even though it could be wrung out and still be soaked, and set it over her shoulders for warmth. The red in her face deepens and I flash a smile, looking away.


"We've gotta find whoever's causing the storm." Kelsey says, her voice low and soft as usual.


"We'll wait the night out." Chandler responds.


"It's going to be bad tonight though." Grace worries, looking at him. "I feel it. The air, it's unstable."


Chandler sighs, running a hand through his soaked hair.


"Whoever's the cause of the storm has got to be seriously troubled." I murmur, looking at the dark clouds hovering over the one side of town.


An idea comes to me and I stand, thinking it through as I step back into the rain.


"There."


I point to the darkest cloud of all. It's directly above what appears to be an appartment complex, the closest I've seen to the ground.


"I'm gonna go ahead, see if it's a Shadow or Hidden."


I'm to the mouth of the alley when Grace stands and tells me to wait up.


"I can help you with the wind." She says shyly once she reaches my side. "It's bad over there."


Glancing back, I get Chandler's okay and receive a jealous glare from Tait. I lead Grace out without saying anything else and offer her my arm, hoping Tait sees the motion. She loops her's through it and pulls herself closer to me.


"Your lips are blue." I notice.


"It's cold." She shivers, forcing a smile. "And I'm soaked."


"You can keep the jacket until you warm up then." I say, liking the way it looked on her anyway.


She smiles genuinely and looks at her feet to hide her flushed face.


We reach the building, my ears popping from the air pressure, and Grace wraps an arm around my waist as an
anchor, her beige hair whipping behind her like a flag.


"It's...Ronan, let's go back." She looks up at me, her face twisted in concern. "I don't like the feel of things here."


"It's alright." I tell her. "I just wanna look around. Then we will."


She studies me before nodding, her gaze shifting to the building.


"Can you sense where it's all coming from?" I ask.


"One of the top floors, but we shouldn't go up there. I don't like the instability."


I bite my bottom lip, looking up at the few top floors. One of the windows is broken, a shade flapping in and out with each gust of wind.


"If it's a Shadow... We've just got the ultimate weapon." I mumble, memorizing which window it is and turning to Grace.


"And if it's a Hidden, we're dead." She says.


"Don't think like that." I say, flashing a smile. "We could take this guy."


"I have my doubts."

Her lips break into a smile and I am caught simply staring at her. Then, the unthinkable happens. The body of a boy is thrown through the broken window.

 


Comments & reviews · 1
User avatar
Caesar
Review
Caesar wrote a review Review · Apr 25, 2012

Double I here for the review, as promised.

As I loved the prologue, I love this. Your writing style is really good, and I couldn't spot any grammatical imperfections. This might be a little short though, but it does deliver excellently. You also did very well in creating friendship and tension between the various characters.
I especially like the hook ending, but why 'unthinkable'? Just me. Also, why, in the beginning, are they controlling the weather to /cause/ a storm? That was unclear. Oh, and, although this isn't really that important (and can be revealed in later chapters, of course) are the Hidden so powerful, or at least inspire apprehension
in the others?
One other nit-picky thing, while you did very well in describing the setting, perhaps a little bit more? Just a teeny bit?

Hope this helped, and I do look forward to reading more,
yours truly



“It doesn’t matter what you are, it only matters what you do. It’s your choice.”
— Sam Winchester