Once upon a 5th of October 2018 at 8 o'clock James John Daniels died while he was writing a story that started like this.Once upon a 5th of October 2018 at 8 o'clock James John Daniels died while he was writing a story that started like this.Once upon a 5th of October 2018 at 8 o'clock James John Daniels died while he was writing a story that started like this.Once upon a 5th of October 2018 at 8 o'clock James John Daniels died while he was writing a story that started like this.Once upon a 5th of October 2018 at 8 o'clock James John Daniels died while he was writing a story that started like this.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This is awesome! It's good for a laugh. I really enjoy paradox's, a lot of them can be really entertaining, like this one. It's unique, you could have a lot of fun with things like this. Other than that, I don't know what else to add. It's not like there are any errors that I can find...nope, your good.
Thanks I just wanted some thing random to do and I did not know about the points you hade to spend now I am working on longer short storys.
I see what you're doing here. James John Daniels dies just as he starts writing the story, and it happens to be about himself dying whilst starting a story, so it kind of spirals in on itself. There's a vague 'groundhog day' feel to it. I think it might have been better if you just had the one sentence, or only one copy of it separated from the original by a colon
) rather than a full stop. If it were possible to display it as such, you could even have the one sentence written in a circle, again with a colon instead of a full stop. In any case this will definitely benefit from colons instead of full stops if you have two or more repetitions of the sentence.
That's all I can say, really. I certainly wouldn't say this is the best thing I've ever read, but I can appreciate it. It's amusing. Maybe you could change the title so that it is actually part of the story, something like 'James John Daniels Died Writing This'? As it is I find it a bit blunt and could do with more subtlety.
Smiley face unintended - that's a colon inside brackets, though I'm guessing you probably do know what a colon is!
Heh, this is a good idea. I can see what you've done here.
Maybe you could possibly improve it by with the last sentence change from "Once upon a 5th of October 2018 at 8 o'clock James John Daniels died while he was writing a story that started like this." to: "Once upon a 5th of October 2018 at 8 o'clock James John Daniels died while he was writing a story that ENDED like this." So change the started for ended. Just an idea though, good writing.
-CFG
WUT?
its just a repetitive story a paradox if you will
Yes, but you messed up on the first line though.
You should fix that.