Rain can be as gentle as a summer's breeze
tickling your nose with your hair
Rain can be as hard as a thousand stones
flying from the hand of the cruel
Rain can wash away hateful memories
and times you wish to forget
Rain can be a ruthless as a braided whip
stinging and slashing at the innocent
Rain can bring destruction, misery, and death Or bring life to a single daisy
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139,388 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Hi, this is Killyouwithwords here to review your poem! First off, I want to start by saying how much I loved it. Rain can be many things, good or bad, sweet or bitter. I felt as if this was a loose comparison to life, for it can be many things as well...there is both a light and a dark side to life. You used great imagery, and very clever similes. I especially like the one comparing rain to the ruthlessness of a braided whip. Amazing
Rain can have both horrible and wonderful effects on people. Droughts for one instance, and hurricanes for another. Yet it is simply beautiful in all it's forms.
Now for the critical side of this review. The second line: “Tickling your nose with your hair," is rather strange and could be tweaked a bit so that it sounds better.
And lastly, the ending line was little weak. You built up your poem to the point where I expected a really impressive closing statement. But instead it,f was too weak. I can here the narrator's voice getting stronger as they read of the destruction and misery that rain brings, and then abruptly soften their tone so that it is a sweet and soft. Maybe add a bit more words and imagery to the last line of this poem poem and it will be so much better!!
Keep Writing-
Killyouwithwords
This really helped! Thanks!
Well this is lovely! Rain is one of my personal favorite topics to read poetry about so this short little tidbit was just delightful. I think the formatting and structure of the poem are great and I think all the comparisons used are pretty solid. Just a few grammatical nitpicks, on the second to last line, I don't think it's necessary to have a comma after death. Also on the first line, I don't think it's necessary to have a comma after breeze.
Beautiful, although I know you said you shared it somewhere else before, I'm glad you shared it again because otherwise I wouldn't have seen it. I never really thought about rain that way- how it's good and bad and so diverse. When you describe it sometimes it sounds so cruel and violent and other times it gives the impression of saving lives. I love it!
Thanks.
Y'know,we've always thought of rain as either a sun-shower,or a brutal thunderstorm.
What about hurricanes? Tsunamis? I think we should actually help people in need, not just like their FB page or follow them on Twitter.
I am a person who likes to do stuff besides sit there and twiddle my thumbs.
I agree. Thanks a ton.
Um, I know I submitted this before, but I was trying to get everything into the same folder because I like organizing.
Don't ask.