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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This poem is a little bit confusing.
I don't like how you ended it, it does tie it up, though. It, to me, just repeated a confusing fact.
Still, this is a fine poem. It is very descriptive, which I like.
This poem has a good message, too.
I also like this poem because it makes you think that there is a back story to this. It gets the reader thinking. Good job!
Thanks for the read!
herby
Hey Sunshine!
First up, I loved it. Self-harm is a topic lots of people avoid but I respect how bold you were in the way in which you approached it. I felt captivated by the way you positioned me as a reader to feel about the girl and how she feels about her cuts. as lovethelifeulive mentioned the angle you wrote this from was helpful in touching the emotions of a reader. However, I too was slightly unsure of who the "he" was at first but I'm assuming he was her boyfriend? Overall, this poem is very well written and easy to read.
Keep writing!
Hey, Sunshine.
I really enjoyed reading your piece and it was very well written. The scars on her wrists are her cutting herself, yes?
And what I like about this piece is that a lot of poeple talk about this subject, but you wrote it though a different angle, saying that she likes it when he tells her to stop.
I love that!
And about the 'he', at first I thought he signified an angel or god or something, because of the golden lips and big hands. And I thought it was interesting when he kissed her wrists, as if he was in a way taking away the scars, I don't know, thats what I thought. But then he kissed her, and I wondered if he was just a boy, maybe seemingly angelic.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading.
Keep up the good work, and I hope to see more works from you!
Thank you for posting.