high heels make the most hollow sound

It's okay and normal to be bitter and angry at someone, but usually when you come off as bitter, listeners assume you are railing against something you deserved? I mean... bitter comes off as petty rather than justified. So when a lot of your digs at the people wearing these shoes come off as bitter, it's hard to sympathize with the speaker, even if there were reason beneath it.

I think the weakness of the poem is really in a little of the predictability? Like the end where the heels break? It's the ultimate and worn-out symbol of taking down the power a notch.

Now, this might just sound completely ridiculous to you, so you can feel free to ignore it, but what if you looked a high heels in different ways to help you get a better idea of why these women might be wearing them? Remember that in old days people wore high heels so they wouldn't have to step in human excrement in the streets. Remember, too, that women these days are realizing that high heels are a little bit like handcuffs at the office: they can't run away in these apparently dress-code-required traps. What do you think of high heels even right now? Do they seem to fit the idea of plastic power women quite as much?

I guess that's really what's getting on my nerves: the mechanics underlying this. To go into a whole rant about how talking down about other girls for the beauty standards other people impose on them feels a little empty when laid out this way.

So I'd suggest a big overhaul.

As for specific writing in this piece, I like the direct address at some points, because it allows for this series of shoes to serve as a narrative. But at the beginning, those shoes don't seem connected. Those seem like individual people, so you have maybe two versions of this poem going at once?

I'd also like to see a more creative use of language if you could manage it. Not just in the end point, but in the phrases themselves. More images that refer to a wider world could open up the scope of this poem without getting too far off the point. For example:

only the foolish
(and beautiful)
walk this path alone.
everyone else
fears the danger.

only the foolish
(and beautiful)
walk this path alone
and leave behind footprints
that no one else will see.

Hi there.

Lovely. I like what you did with the time progression and shoes. It's not direct at all, and really makes the reader think. Nice job.

A few notes to take into consideration:

The titles of the stanzas should either all be capitalized or not capitalized. The way it is bothers me, especially because it didn't start out with capitalized titles and then suddenly transitioned into them.

I.
"usually spell confidence,"
In this poem, you do a good job of packing description into a few lines per stanza, but this line is a little cliche. How many times have you heard, "oh, that dress just SPELLS confidence"? Try to find a different way of saying what you want to.
"you look meek in any color"
Good line, that. But it could be better if you said "you are meek in every color." It's stronger, and it tells us more about the person.

II.
"walk this path alone"
Again, watch out for cliche sounding lines. "I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams." Walking on a road alone has been done before (as seen by that Green Day example). Perhaps try something a little more out there. Or at least omit "alone."
"fears the danger."
Danger. Danger is such a vague word that could be so much more specific here. Is it the type of danger that makes you want to hug the cliff wall on a mountain path? Or is it the type of danger that makes you want to run home to your mother when the bills finally come due, and you're crushed by the realization that you're an adult now, and you have to do it yourself? Use images to illustrate this danger you speak of.

III.
"you can weave yourself into unattainable pretty"
Whoo. That's a long line. Put a break in between "yourself" and "into."
I think this stanza as a whole needs a few more images relating to the cowboy boots since your previous stanzas did.

IV.
"you have gotten stuck"
let's change this out of passive voice, shall we? Try "you got stuck" or "you stuck/ on a lopsided ring"
"they might be able to see you if you did.)" (I love your use of parentheses here, by the way) I think "see" is the wrong word. Use something stronger than see. Something that means more like understand and see at the same time. But neither of those words. I'm sorry I'm unspecific.

V.
This is my favorite stanza. I love the almost snarkiness of it. "Welcome to forgotten." Best line. So small, but it packs such a punch. My one suggestion for this stanza is to say "leopard flats" instead of including "printed" in the title. It's clear, and it's shorter, which is what you want here.

VI.
"falling like a rock"
Rock. It's a little... boring of a word choice compared to some of the other images you've got going on here. Stronger word choice here would be great.

VII.
I love the resolution in this stanza. However, the punctuation is throwing me off. Here, punctuate it like this:

you don't wear high heels anymore:
every pair has broken.
each heel has snapped under
all the pressure.

Also, now that I think about it, the middle two lines are a little redundant. Take out the second line and it would be better.

I quite enjoyed reading this, and enjoyed your clever ideas, too. Keep writing. I hope that this review was useful to you.

Oh wow. I had to read this poem twice, because I didn't realize the not-so-hidden meaning at first. My first reaction was "Awww, I love what you did here!" because I thought you were just talking about shoes and the messages they send to other people. I liked that--but I liked it even more when I realized you were chronicling someone's life journey, even though it made me very sad for her.

The "cowboy boots" stanza threw me off. Boots are normally associated with, well, country--with being rugged and powerful, or at least wild or outgoing. They're practical shoes, not normally used for vanity. (Well, practical for riding horses. They're functional shoes, anyway.) I've seen women's designer cowboy boots before, so I know very well they can be ridiculously glamorous, and the stanza works as a part of the story you're telling, but as a representation of the message of the cowboy boots, it doesn't make sense. You're doing two things, yes? I'd rewrite that a bit, although it's already lovely.

A third glance-over showed me that you started capitalizing on stanza IV with the Ruby heels. Was that intentional? It seems so, but it's also a bit strange. You're delving into her downfall, so it would make more sense to me to reverse the order of the caps/lowercase. Capitals indicate--again--power, force, and she's falling from power. Why are these titles emphasized? Am I missing something?

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. I want to favorite it, and that's something I haven't thought in a long time. *calls jokingly for Nate to add that feature*

Thanks for sharing!

Hi sunshine, I must admit shoes aren't exactly my forte! But I will try to dispense as much advice as I can:

Not taking one's self too seriously

This piece has a specific audience: shoe-lovers. Can one make a serious poem that is meant only for that group? Probably not. In places, your tone is light and playful, and others more profound. You can mix the two, surely, but you have to be careful about not trying to make a point that is too large. Go ahead and be silly.

Another thing I would say: Being judgmental while self-deprecating (ie making fun of shoe-lovers in general including yourself) is okay. Being judgmental about people just because is not. Now I can only go on tone here; there could be "shoe" humor that's just not translating, but you should take care to not sound too preachy, even in the world of fashion.

I guess I don't really have much more to say on the poem; it kind of speaks for itself. I would imagine the shoe-lover audience would love it.