if brevity is wit,
my face is a masterpiece.
the faster you scroll,
the prettier I get.
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140,235 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
I really like the form of this poem. I like short and to the point poetry, but then again, my mind always ponders at the many different meanings it could have, considering it isn't as lengthy as we are all used to.
Sometimes I think a little too much about these lines. for instance, "the faster you scroll, the prettier I get." Considering that this is about selfies, I think about Facebook or Instagram and I'm thinking to myself: if you scroll, you are scrolling down, and down means further back in your timeline, so is this poem referring to how pretty the speaker is now compared to the past, or are all the selfies that she's taking supposed to be getting better? So you'd be scrolling up to the most recent post... correct?
It's two sentences. To strong sentences that make the readers think about whatever comes to their mind. Sometimes what the readers are thinking isn't exactly what you were thinking when you wrote the piece.
Sunshine,
I actually disagree with the previous reviewer on what they said about this little piece.
The shortness of it makes it hard to actually be in any position to sit here and pick it apart like one can more easily do for longer pieces, but still we can give our opinions on short things like this and that is what I will do, so take what bits of my opinion agree with you and throw away what you don't need.
I Actually enjoyed this little piece, I thought it clever in it's concept and delivery. I think you picked the right words for this piece and the message it conveys I don't feel is a childish or Bratty at all. Maybe it's because I'm coming from a different angle then most- I'm an adult (23) that I don't see the childishness in this poem. I see an actually thought provoking idea
- Some people seem much more appealing the less we know them.
I feel like this little piece sounds like it belongs in a quote book, so bravo, I enjoyed it!
~Shadowlight~
It is alright, but you are missing; Capitalization, Interest, Meaning. This is more of a child poem than something an adult would like, and it sounds like some thing a snotty teenage brat would write. Not that I'm insulting you or anything, I just don't particularly like this poem. I feel like you are saying that you are ugly. So don't write things like that. But this poem was just a silly kid thing and I like that.
The lack of capitalization is completely intentional. Thanks for taking the time to comment, but is there anything you think I can fix? Any way I can make the meaning come across better, because that's not at all what I wanted it to come across like.