"Look at the size of those paws! What a warrior he'll make." The kit's father, a big rusty-brown cat, purred.
"I'm looking at his eyes," the mother said. "I've never heard of a cat with gray eyes."
The little one, who had been named Sevenkit, stirred in his nest.
His stare took in every detail. He made no sound, but those eyes promised... something.
**
Sevenpaw surveyed the camp. In the past six moons he'd grown form a bumbling kit to a competent apprentice. His legs and chest had filled with lean muscle; he stood head and shoulders over his denmates.
"Hi, brother." Silverpaw came to her feet as she caught sight of him. "Horseleg and I saved you a vole."
Sevenpaw dipped his head in thanks. That was one thing about being so big, he thought: he was always hungry.
His sister let out a mrrow of laughter. "Actually, it was Pebblepaw who caught it. He's turning into a fine hunter."
"And you've become a fine fool over him," he teased.
"Mind your own business, nosy!"
StarClan, what is with her? "It was only a joke, Silver. I know you..."
His voice trailed away. She wasn't listening. "She-cats," he muttered.
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140,907 Literary Works • 673,721 Reviews
It's a good story, but sometimes it is best you don't skip such a big time frame. Try to make something happen in Sevenpaw's kithood that will alter the story later on. Also, try to tell us who's talking to Sevenpaw as often as needed. It won't confuse the reader as much.
I like it seems like its going to be a good story but i would like to know what clans he,s from that would have been somthing to tell when he was still a kit but other than that i loved it im looking forward to reading more of this.
I love Warriors! I love the way you discribed him, but I would like to know what Clan/Tribe Sevenpaw's is in. I didn't like the time skip. I know that being a kit is never fun, but maby you could make something happion. All you see is him, and a few other cats, what's the leaders name? Or even his Mentor's name, that would be nice. Why is he so big? Does he have any friends? Does he like a she-cat? I know I sound like an mouse brained kit, but I love the story.
~Lareen
I love Warrior Fanoff's! Yours is a great one.
Thank you, thank you. I'll working on some more to add.
Haha, I love Warriors, and this looks cool!