Helgen

Heyo Stori!
Some of what I say might seem unnecessary since my knowledge of Skyrim is limited to the small amount of it I've played and the hours of gameplay I've watched on YouTube.

While this is a small intro, you give out a lot of information, which to an unfamiliar reader would be a bit overwhelming. In fact it might even seem so to someone who's just slightly familiar with the subject (Not talking about myself. At all. Honest.)

The second and third paragraph should be combined, since you're staying on the topic of who's present in the cart.

The sentence following the prisoner in the front's statement should be its own paragraph.

Is that third person H'yarr is speaking in? For some reason I found that really neat

Other than that the rest is fine, grammar and spelling-wise.
It's written well and flows quite nicely. It's easy to follow, and I'm sure if you were planning on continuing this, all the subtle, confusing details would be come clear.

You are able to draw the reader in easily, leaving them with many questions. For me personally, I'd love to know if this followed the original start of Skyrim, being carried to an execution, or something completely different.

So to you, kudos on your great work.
I look forward to reading more of your pieces.

Stori, my good man!

I haven't played Skyrim, unfortunately, but I have played Oblivion and so I know a little about the Elder Scrolls games. It seems like you can talk the talk as you know the lingo but have you also crafted an engaging scene?

First of all, and I know you'll sigh at this, but it's a little short. This isn't necessarily to do with the length of the piece, but more to do with the way you write the events that comprise it. Think of the classic advice, "A story has a beginning, a middle, and an end." Often this takes the form of a beginning (to set the scene and introduce conflict) a middle (to develop the characters and conflicts further) and then an end (to lead the characters to the end of their journey).

From what I can see, this is the barest slice of the beginning. I'm aware of a few character conflicts from the banter in the prison cart, but these don't really ring true because the characters H'yarr argues with aren't named. It seems like they are extras (or NPCs, if you will) that are just there to make sure the main character isn't alone. I've learned from reading Beckiw's stories that the side-characters can often be just as important as the main one. Maybe you can consider developing these further and giving them a bit more motivation and active role in the plot.

Also a little more description would be nice. Although I know what an Argonian looks like, some readers who don't play Skyrim won't. You don't need to go overboard with this, though. Just a few extra snippets of description so that people get the general idea -- their minds will fill in the rest. I like how the Nords use the description "Scales" to refer to H'yarr. That's a nice way of encorporating description into the piece without info-dumping.

Aside from characters and description, do you have an idea where this story is going? It's good to have at least a plan of the events that are going to unfold in the next few chapters of your story, even if you don't know the end. As I mentioned earlier with the beginning, middle and end thing, you'll find that the direction a good plot brings is one of the best ways to ensnare a reader and keep them hooked. That's definitely a worthwhile thing to consider.

Anyway, I think those suggestions are enough to be getting on with. Your dialogue is good and it's good to see some character interactions even if they're not quite as "true" as they could be. Keep writing -- it's the only way to improve! Best of luck, Stori.