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It's not me, It's You.

by SofieR


On paper, you were a perfect resume.

A candidate, more than qualified.Ticked all the boxes. All the makings

Of a perfect match.

-

And this is why

My heart sank down to a new low.

When we sat down at a table

In the middle of a crowded coffee house,

And after twenty minutes

ran out of things to say.

-

See, there is a river in me,

Raging on full of love

That I have been holding back.

Keeping at bay.

And I’m poised at the ready

to break the levy and let all my love

wash over this perfect someone

I’ve dreamt up in my mind.

-

And what a shame.

And I’m so very sorry.

But that someone

isn’t you.

-

Maybe it’s foolish

To deny a perfect candidate.

To reject a sure thing

For a maybe.

But to settle for anything less

Than someone who fills

My stomach with butterflies…

Is not who I am.

It’s not who I am.

-

I will always choose solitude

Over pretending to love someone I don’t

Every time. Every day. Every where.

I will wear the solitude like a crown.

But, oh god.

Heavy is the head.

Heavy is the head.

Heavy is the head. 


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12 Reviews

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Thu Apr 14, 2022 10:45 pm
Hawinay wrote a review...



Hello SofieR, I hope this finds you well.

Love is always seen in any art, any word, any look, and any feel deemed as perfect but never thought of as far from it.

"On paper, you were a perfect resume.
A candidate, more than qualified. Ticked all the boxes. All the makings
Of a perfect match."

Just because something is perfect, doesn't make it right. I would like to say that the heart is more than a conundrum, but it wouldn't have so much thought put towards it if the heart was anything less. A tree can be green, the same as a plant, and check all the boxes that they are the same in color and nothing short of perfect, but if green isn't your favorite color does it do the job of making you feel alive, or simply just trying to survive?

"And this is why
My heart sank down to a new low,
When we sat down at a table
In the middle of a crowded coffee house,
And after twenty minutes
Ran out of things to say.

See, there is a river in me,
Raging on full of love
That I have been holding back.
Keeping at bay.
And I'm poised at the ready
to break the levy and let all my love
wash over this perfect someone
I've dreamt up in my mind."

It is hard to be the barrier against yourself, your cups overfilling and threatening to domino through your walls. Anything can be the crack in your self-defenses, anything can be the hammer against the stones in your walls. You could always be ready at the gate of the castle you built, waiting, always waiting for the craft of your dreams to show and not be the figment of your imagination. It makes one wonder if we ask too much, or too little.

"And what a shame.
And I'm so very sorry.
But that someone
isn't you.

Maybe it's foolish
To deny a perfect candidate.
To reject a sure thing
For a maybe.
But to settle for anything less
Than someone who fills
My stomach with butterflies...
Is not who I am.
It's not who I am."

Love is the complication that you can be so sure of yourself to the point of doubt, did I make the right choice, did I say the right words, did I hug them the right way. But no matter your doubts and your worries and the number of fights you have had, you would never make a different choice. The pain is the flavor your choose, same as the love, and lust is the thing you crave. The butterflies are the colors you choose, and you never have to convince yourself otherwise.

"I will always choose solitude
Over pretending to love someone I don't
Every time. Every day. /Everywhere./
I will wear the solitude like a crown.
But, oh god.
Heavy is the head.
Heavy is the head.
Heavy is the head."

We will always choose an unforgiving path for the ones we love, for the things we love.

All in all, it was a wonderful read.

Keep creating beautiful art, and dance in the rain when things seem hard.




SofieR says...


Wow, thank you for such a thoughtful review <3



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Sun Mar 27, 2022 11:40 pm
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Quillfeather wrote a review...



Hello Sofie! Trinity here with a short review!


What I loved about the poem
This was a great poem! I thought the emotion came across really well! You could feel the disappointment when you said

And this is why

My heart sank down to a new low.

When we sat down at a table

In the middle of a crowded coffee house,

And after twenty minutes

ran out of things to say.


And you were also really good at getting powerful imagery across. Like here
See, there is a river in me,

Raging on full of love

That I have been holding back.

Keeping at bay.

And I’m poised at the ready

to break the levy and let all my love

wash over this perfect someone

I’ve dreamt up in my mind.


Things that could be improved
There's not much here! There were just a few wording choices that I found slightly confusing
. Like when you said
Is not who I am.

It’s not who I am.

It was a little confusing. I'm not sure if you meant it to be
"It's not who I am
It's not who I am" But either way it made me pause for a while and I think it might be better a just "It's not who I am" But that's just my feeling.
There were a few more things like that. I recommend re-reading with that in mind. But they by no-means have to be changed.

Anyway, Amazing poem!

Keep writing!

-Trinity




SofieR says...


Thank you soooo much for reading and reviewing! :)



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Sun Mar 27, 2022 11:23 pm
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alliyah wrote a review...



Hey there Sofie! Here to review! :)

See, there is a river in me,
Raging on full of love
That I have been holding back.
Keeping at bay.


^^ Oh I love what you did there, perfect metaphor; and yep yep yep can definitely relate to the feelings in this poem.

Interpretation
My interpretation of the poem is that the speaker is eager to love, and can find people who kind of fit the ideas they have in mind for love, but when they meet in person, can not seem to actually fall in love with anyone - so rather than dragging out a relationship they know won't hurt they end things prematurely.

One interesting aspect to this poem is I didn't quite know if it was meant to be slightly satirical - as in, is the poem a critique of what the speaker is doing, or just a reflection of what the speaker is doing. I could see it going both ways; because in some ways it seems like the speaker is shooting themselve's in the foot by ending things so soon before they're able to get to know the person. But I'm not sure that's where you were going with this or not.

The poem also expresses a sort of tiredness of the whole dating game and oof that last stanza especially just felt very honest / and again relatable I think to a lot of people!

Praises
Truly loved that river / bay metaphor, and sort of wish that had carried through the whole poem. it can be a great technique to use the same imagery-family throughout a poem. So rather than choosing celestial, technology, domestic, nature -> you choose like 1 imagery family and keep all your word choice and imagery in that theme (ie. nautical would work for this one, or even a 'cafe vibe').

I usually don't like repetition if it feels redundant, but here I think your repetition conveyed a real tiredness with the repetition of what they were going through and I think it was a great way to end the poem actually - good use of some dramatic punctuation / line breaks too to solidify voice and emotion like where you say "But, oh god." "Every time. Every day. Every where." very nicely done there.

Suggestions
Formatting-wise, I wish the first stanza matched line length a bit more with everything else. I think that this poem would be elevated with a little bit more of that metaphorical language extended - the river boat imagery is a bit stronger and original than the butterfly one. But I also really enjoyed the expression "solitude like a crown" I had definitely never heard that either.

I'd be very curious to know if the speaker was intended to be one readers are sympathetic towards or judgemental toward because I could see it going either way. Overall I really liked this short piece and would like to read more of your work in the future.

Keep on writing!

(Also can I just say, you should definitely check out National Poetry Writing Month if you like poetry - it starts in April, you can read more at that link) :)
alliyah




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Fri Mar 25, 2022 3:03 am
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Avis wrote a review...



Hey, Avis here for a quick review (sorry this will probably be shorter than usual since I'm pretty tired lol)!

I really like the theme of the poem as you do a great job of showing the conflict between not wanting to settle for someone that you don't actually like, and the struggle (or heaviness) of being single and sometimes lonely. I liked that you pointed out that someone can be objectively a wonderful person, but you might just not have that spark or chemistry that is needed for a relationship to be happy and worth it.

I like a lot the metaphors you use, especially in the opening line "On paper, you were a perfect resume." I also like how you describe yourself as having a river of love and the conflict between releasing it, but ultimately choosing to hold it back.

The last stanza is probably my favorite because of the way you describe the solitude as a crown, but reference the phrase "heavy is the head that wears the crown." Your repetition of the phrase "heavy is the head" is subtly impactful and a really great way of ending the poem!

So yeah, I enjoyed this, great job, and hopefully I'll see more of your work in the future! ^-^




SofieR says...


Ah thanks so much for reviewing!



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Thu Mar 24, 2022 4:27 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Yes,I can somewhat relate.There was this girl I was talking to who was really nice and it seemed like we’d be friends,but I got too scared to continue speaking to her,I thought it was too good to be true.I regret not speaking to her.I enjoyed reading this! I hope you have a lovely and beautiful day and night.





No person can be a great leader unless he takes genuine joy in the successes of those under him.
— W. A. Nance